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July 20, 2011

Please if you could help with advice on what to do with my 5 year old and two dogs and well as my baby. I'm at a loss here and it is a terrible stress.

Full Question:
I have read so many articles on having dogs around children, yet I still have to ask so many questions and tell you my situation in hopes that you can help me before something serious happens in my home.

There are two dogs in my home which are both almost five years old. They are rotti mix, but we are not sure with what. They are my husband's dogs and they have been in this home since they were brought here from about 6 months old. One is male and one is female, they were from the same litter. I have been with my husband over a year now, but after dating for about 4 months we moved in together. No issue with the dogs except I have a 4 year old (now 5) daughter, my husband has plenty of nieces and nephews which came to the house almost every weekend prior to us moving in and there was never any issues. The dogs are pretty mellow except for when someone gets on the floor they want to play and when they are outside. My husband says that they cannot go for walks because they are to strong and will pull and not behave, they have never really left the house except for regular vet visits.

When I moved in with my husband(or stayed the night prior to) he told me that the dogs were used to sleeping in bed with him, to me this was just absurd. In my home the dogs never shared a bed with us because of fleas, worms or just plain taking up room and although groomed, it's not like they take a bath everyday. He had a big issue with this and so I told him I would be sleeping on the couch unless the dogs got out of the room. He said that if we kept them out they would cry and scratch at the door all night and not let us get any sleep. I insisted that we put them out of the room, the first night they cried but I told them to go lay down and they eventually did. That being said they no longer sleep with us and never whine to come in. We do not have a cage for the dogs but we have a guest bedroom which they have a full size actual bed that they sleep in. My husband refuses to get cages, he would be to upset seeing them in them and both dogs are around 50lbs and would need big cages which inside we do not have space for.

Well, back to my five year old daughter. The dogs mostly lay around the house, we let them on the couches since I have covers over them and they sleep around all over anyway. My daughter seems to play nice with them but at the same time it seems like she tries to pick at them. She will pull their tails, pinch them, or pull their ears. Our female has had no issues with my daughter if it hurts she runs away. Although I do not even let my daughter around the dogs without me. Our male dog has been hurt by her a few times, he has yelped in pain and tried to snap at her as a "get away from me that hurts" sort of thing. But a month ago my daughter jumped on him while he was sleeping on the couch and he yelped, jumped up and snapped at her face. He scratched below her eye, her nose and lip. It was not serious, I brought her to the doctor anyway and both the doctor, me, my husband and other family talked to her about how to treat dogs. This has been an on going thing about her and the dogs and how she treats them. Although I do not know if it is because I'm her mother I also feel like the dog should be aware that my daughter is like this, the male anyway and be more like his sister who is more passive. I understand though that he is a dog and that is his mentality. Well after the talks, time out and numerous "taking away" and grounding of my 5 year old the other night she took a toy truck and rolled it on the dog which pinched his skin and of course my male dog yelped and snapped at my daughter again. I know with that said your wondering how could I have been there. I'm not kidding she does these things to the dogs within seconds even before I react and now I told her she has nothing to do with the dogs ever at all unless she asks permission. Today though my daughter YET again rolled the same toy truck over our female dog, even after she just got in trouble about hurting the male. I do not know how else to discipline her and what more to do with the dogs. Both dogs went to obedience school as puppies, they do not bite when treats, bones or food is taken from them(luckily as my daughter would have been bit for that by now to) the dogs really do not bug although occasionally they are a little to active in the house and need to be told to go to bed or lay down and calm down.

To add to all of this I'm also expecting a baby in September and am worried about how the dogs will act with the baby seeing as my daughter had put them maybe in a bad standing as far as children go. I read all about how to introduce a baby and what should be done which I believe were all safe measures although my husband totally disagrees and even said "My friend's dogs lay with their babies and cuddle with them our dogs will be fine" I couldn't stand the fact that my baby could lay with a dog, especially two dogs of that size. The dogs get jealous of each other for my attention or anyone's. The dogs seem to listen and want to be with me more since they follow me around will lay at my feet and in most cases just want to be where I am. I'm afraid they will be jealous my attention is going towards baby and not them. Also as far as not letting the dogs into the baby room what if someone breaks in through the window of that room or something, my dogs seem pretty good as far as protection wise and I would be worried they would still take that room as off limits.

Please if you could help with advice on what to do with my 5 year old and two dogs and well as my baby. I'm at a loss here and it is a terrible stress.
Cindy
Cindy Cindy's Answer:
If your daughter isn’t old enough to follow the rules around the dogs, then you will need to make sure the dogs are kept separated from her until she can listen.

Here is a section on preventing dog bites in kids. This sentence from your email is probably one of the most dangerous statements I’ve read about dogs and kids. 'My husband totally disagrees and even said "My friend's dogs lay with their babies and cuddle with them our dogs will be fine."'

Have your husband take a look at some of the photos on the kids/dog bites page.

The dogs need training and supervision (as does the child).

Here are my recommendations: Get 2 dog crates and use them. Start with our groundwork program.

I’d recommend the videos:

Pack Structure for the Family Pet
Basic Obedience

Put the dogs on a schedule and train them. Teach them some rules.

I can’t help with your child, baby or husband, only with the dogs. Realize that if your dogs make mistakes, it’s not their fault if they haven’t been taught how to behave. Dogs don’t magically know what we expect of them, they need to be shown.

Cindy Rhodes

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Expert Dog Trainer Cindy Rhodes
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