Cindy's Answer:
I'd review the DVD you have, Power of Training with Food (also available as a course). I believe Michael covers how to start and end a training session so the dog isn't constantly "on".
When we start with puppies we immediately begin using the words that mean "we're training now" For me that word is READY and after a session is done we let them know it's over. I use ALL DONE and I break my mental connection with the puppy/dog at that time. I don't interact with them in a training way, I don't reward anything they offer at that time, etc.. They learn over time there is a cue for when to be tuned in and focused and when to relax.
The rest of the issue is for you and your wife to change the words you use in casual conversation so the puppy doesn't get tuned in. Good dog training is mostly about our behavior and the criteria we set for the dog. You may want to choose different verbals for your recall if it's a real problem.
For puppies, if they come to me when I say their name I take that as a win. As he grows and your training becomes more complex he'll understand the difference between just saying his name and a recall.
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