Quote: Connie Sutherland

Chick flicks with a bowl of bacon might work.

Just remember that every once in a while, your dog will surprise you and want petted.
My Dutch is an anti-pet me dog, but about two or three mornings a month, after Doug leaves for work, he jumps on the bed, places his head on me and falls sound asleep while I pet him.
I enjoy every moment of this, because the rest of the days, it is duck and back up with the "jjjjuuussstttt throw my toy mmmmoooommmm" look.

Could be why I am less excited to work with our new "inherited" min. pin. than I am with our GSD (Shadow). My boy loves to be petted as a reward for obedience, and the min.pin. just doesn't care. It's more fun to live with a dog that loves to be loved. I feel like I'm making Shadow's life better with each pet, and the min.pin. seems to say - If you want to make me happy, feed me. I'll let you pet me when I'm good and ready. I think my personality loves to have a dog say "pet me and I'll know you love me." I want to be loved in return. But, that's my problem, not the dog's.

 Quote: carol boche

Just remember that every once in a while, your dog will surprise you and want petted.
My Dutch is an anti-pet me dog, but about two or three mornings a month, after Doug leaves for work, he jumps on the bed, places his head on me and falls sound asleep while I pet him.
I enjoy every moment of this, because the rest of the days, it is duck and back up with the "jjjjuuussstttt throw my toy mmmmoooommmm" look.

Yes we do have to seize our opportunities. I find they are slowly becoming more numerous, and the one you describe is one of my favorites.

My other indulgence is that in the winter the dog rides up the chair lift with me in the mornings at work, sitting accross my lap. Keeps me warm on the ride up and he is a captive audience to my petting! He doesn't even seem to mind. He would sit on anyones lap in a car as well, and let them pet him, though he generally rides in the back that is caged off.

Heya Lynne!

Your pup is adorable

I don't think anyone has answered your eye-contact game question yet (didn't read all the posts though) so I'll bite.

It's really simple, have your pup sit or stand in front of you and hold out a treat to the side with your hand closed so that the dog can't reach it.

Don't say anything, don't move, just stand there holding the treat. She'll probably nudge, lick and paw at your hand for a while. Eventually, when she sees that she isn't getting the food, she'll glance up at you for maybe a split second with a "What's going on here??" look on her face.
The INSTANT she makes eye contact, say YESSS!!!! in a really high-pitch and excited tone and immediately give her the food.

Correct timing is of the utmost importance here. You HAVE to give the "YES!!" while she's making eye contact, or you've failed.

It can be tricky at first because the eye contact can be so brief and fleeting, so make sure you're focused

Just repeat that over and over again. Hold the food out to the side and say YESS!! + treat as soon as she makes eye contact.

Eventually (usually within a session or two of this) she'll start to look longer and longer in your eyes and you can extend the time that she has to hold the eye contact before she gets the YES!! and the reward.

This works amazingly well.

I taught this to an 11-year-old dog for the first time and it took her 3-4 "YES!"'s to figure out the game and she's been giving me nice long stares ever since.

Also taught this to a 9-week-old puppy and she was also giving me 4-5 seconds of eye contact within the very first session.

I'm teaching it now to my 18-month-old male shepherd and it's taking him a little longer.
I'm finding it practically impossible to get my timing right with him cause he glances back and forth and back and forth so quickly between me and the food.

He does hold prolonged eye contact for a toy though (taught using the same method). Go figure... he's a weirdo

This is one of the funest games you can play with a puppy (really easy too, and it doesn't even require getting off your butt if you're feeling lazy, haha). Good luck and have fun!


A good way to encourage bonding is to take your pup out to a strange place at night where it might be a little bit worried (not terrified obviously, just enough that she'll want to stick close to you and won't want to wander off on her own).
Walk along at a quick pace, call her name and give her a quick pat every time she runs up to you.
Quickly back away from her, take off at a quick pace and call her again if you feel that she's about to lose interest in being petted.

You probably won't be able to turn her into a snuggly cuddly dog if that's not her personality, but a puppy will bond pretty quickly with someone who they think is protecting them and keeping them safe in a strange environment.

This is how I taught my youngest pup to follow me around on leash. As an 8-week-old she was too confident and independant during the daytime to bother with me and it took a lot of food to convince her to follow.

At night though, especially in a strange place, she would be much more eager to follow me and to not let me out of her sight.

I just took off on her calling her and she came running each time - no food and no toys

She enjoys petting and snuggling but only when she's sleepy, lol.

My oldest female (11) only enjoys excited petting during training but will grumble and move away if we pet her while she's resting. She likes to hang out on her own.

My male shepherd (the one in my signature) is the largest marshmallow lap-dog you could ever imagine. He wants to be petted and kissed continuously and is always lying down RIGHT on my feet, or on my lap or leaning against me. He's the best, though a little heavy at 96 lbs to be a lap dog.

It's just the way they're born, don't take it personally if you don't have a snuggler

 Quote: yuko blum

Heya Lynne!


It's really simple, have your pup sit or stand in front of you and hold out a treat to the side with your hand closed so that the dog can't reach it.

Don't say anything, don't move, just stand there holding the treat. She'll probably nudge, lick and paw at your hand for a while. Eventually, when she sees that she isn't getting the food, she'll glance up at you for maybe a split second with a "What's going on here??" look on her face.
The INSTANT she makes eye contact, say YESSS!!!! in a really high-pitch and excited tone and immediately give her the food.

Correct timing is of the utmost importance here. You HAVE to give the "YES!!" while she's making eye contact, or you've failed.

Yuko, that's perfect! Thanks for posting this and I will work on this today!
Also, I think I've been so anal about not letting her show any dominance (she does have a dominant, outgoing personality) that I've been unknowingly squelching her attempts at affection 'her way'. I was sitting on the couch last night and she mouthed me a little, which I ignored. She then jumped up and put her forepaws on my legs and put her head down in my lap. I haven't been allowing her to do this in the past. (the jumping on me)
She stayed there very quietly and let me pet her flank (she doesn't like her head touched) for maybe 5 minutes, with no mouthing at all. It was positive reinforcement for me! I think I need to lighten up a little and let her be herself...

Just throwing a thought out - maybe what would keep a dog from bonding is bad treatment or neglect by the owner. I don't think it's really a petting issue. Another barrier to bonding with a human would be having other dogs to play with from the beginning, before the bonding with the human takes place. I think a dog's desire for petting is dependent on its personality, and doesn't have anything to do with bonding.

I also agree that the bonding can be slowed down by us (not them) if we don't get what to us would be a good reception to our petting. We do just have to accept our dogs' personality as it is. It's in their nature to bond. We just have to be around so that can happen, like doing things with them and training them.