People Who Have Experienced the loss of a Pet

People Who Have Experienced the Loss of a Pet

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I have a 9 1/2 year old Boxer, Roko, and he was just diagnosed with Brain Cancer. Roko has a large tumor in the front of his brain. I knew something was wrong on January 2nd when he had 3 seizures and was hospitalized for a day. Then on Saturday January 8th he began to have seizures again and once again hospitalized. I transferred him from once hospital to the next to have an MRI done and on Jan 11th 5:30 pm I got the phone call from the Vet stating that he has a large brain tumor. I am devastated. Roko has been with me since he was 2 months old.

They gave me the alternatives of chemo, radiation or surgery, however I will not put him through any of that. He is currently on Pheonobarbatol and a steroid to reduce the swelling.

When I brought him home he could not walk down the stairs, so I carried him down the stairs. The vet told me is not premature to put him to sleep. I knew it would come to this one day. It has been so quick. Do I continue his life - though he cries thru the night and urinates all over...then he is embarrassed because he knows he is not supposed to do that ....I don't want to put him to sleep prematurely either...as you can see I am so very torn about what to do...do I wait for him to have another seizure or get worse or do I let him go now.....

As I write this letter to you. I am numb as I have had to make the decision to put my best friend to sleep this morning. I feel selfish that I kept him in pain this long and last night he had a stroke while he cuddled under my bed sheets like he always has for the past 15 years. His name was Skittles and we were together since he was 3 months old. He brought us so much laughter and he saw me through the birth of my three grandchildren, divorce, loss of jobs and so much more. He was always there, bad breath and all, and never complained. He had been blind for over 10 years and was able to maneuver in the house ok but it was getting worse and worse and he was falling down the stairs and lethargic and hid in corners. I would call his name when I would get home from work, but he was not responsive in the past 3 months. Last night he had a seizure in my bed and was lifeless and I felt so helpless. I brought him to the vet today and the vet said his time has come. The vet was so supportive and cried with me as he gave him his little injection. They gave him a sedative before and I held him and repeated his great life and how much I loved him. I held him in my arms after he died. I asked for a small piece of his hair and will be cremating. I told him that he was put on this earth to make people happy, he served his purpose and gave me a wonderful gift of companionship. He was so unconditional. My house feels empty right now and I don't know what to do with his dog bowl that he ate from this morning, his treats, leashes and all that stuff. Pets are God's ways of letting us know that being unconditional with a pet or a loved one is very powerful and a bond that a human spirit can give to the kindred spirit. In the end it can be a beautiful thing that one can experience, grow from it an always remember the good, the love and the memories. I read your site and loved the poem from one of your readers. I have attached a picture of Skittles that I took one hour before putting him to sleep. If you look in his eyes he knew today was his day. Thank you for letting me write to you on this very sad day. As I write this, I wait to hear his pitter patter of his feet on my wood floors but they are not there. Please understand the deepest sadness that I feel at this moment for losing my best friend. His nick name was the "The Boy"

PS - he used to like to gum at peoples clothes to show love and as he was falling asleep at the vet he started gumming my shirt.

Suzanne
San Diego

Poodle

Today really is the day. I am, at this very moment waiting for the vet to arrive at my house, to put my 17 year old, poodle to sleep. Thank God he agreed to come here. I couldn’t bare the thought of bringing her to his office – something she finds stressful in the best of times – let alone the worst. As I write this she’s sleeping on my pale yellow fluffy dressing gown, making a wheezing/snoring sound in front to the fire. She can’t see or hear very well anymore and likes to be near the “smell” of me. It’s one of her few comforts these days. That last sense.

In my heart of hearts, 95% of me knows this is the right thing to do. I just wish she could talk. I wish she could tell me – reassure me, that it is really time. I wish she could comfort me and eliminate that 5% that still doubts and hopes. But she can’t. Her world now exists in the little bit she can see, the little bit she can hear and her still astute sense of smell. She still takes such joy in smelling things. I hope she’s sleeping when he comes. I hope I can sneak him in without stress to her. I’ve been through this once before and I take comfort in the peace they go in. No pain, stress and I swear the only other time I had to do this, my old dog Rip, knew, and was grateful

I wish I had done this when I first talked to the vet about “how do you know when is it time” six months ago. I think if I ever have to do this again, I’ll do it the first time I consider it because anything else is just hanging on. For my sake, not hers.

Because I needed to be sure, I know she’s suffered. And I feel horrible for allowing that. For being that small.

My eye-opener was bringing her to our new house and watching her run into walls because she couldn’t see them. Watching her wander the place, trying to find me but having no way to do that, but smell . In our own space, you get used to the way they are. They know where you are – where you like to sit – where you sleep And they still have those odd moments of pure joy – almost puppydum. It’s confusing. In a new space – well – it’s like having new eyes.

She’s been the best dog I’ve ever had. She is a dog that was meant for me and belonged to only me in the strongest sense. She tolerated others – never nasty to them. But her soul was/is mine from the very first time I saw her. And mine was hers. The connection we have had has been rare and magical.

Ok. I’ve got a half hour before he arrives. I’m going to nestle close to my dog, without disturbing her sleep and hopefully “mind-meld” how much I love her, how much I’m going to miss her and wish her wonderful things. I’m going to tell my 3 year old granddaughter when she comes home tonight that Bailey was very old, tired and sick. She had to go to a wonderful place called Heaven, where she’ll be able to have as many bones and treats as she wants forever. She’ll be all shiny and new there and be able to see an hear all kinds of wonderful things, with exceptional ability. Grandma is sad she had to go, but she’s happy for Bailey. It’s time.

I feel better now.

Thanks

Cathy

An Email from the next day:

It’s done. She died in my arms last night, her body as relaxed as a puppy who has gone to sleep. You know how suddenly heavy they get?

The vet was great, very supportive and promised to look after her now.

We’re going to have her cremated wrapped in my yellow bathrobe and put her ashes in the stream behind our house. She’d like that. Actually as I say that, I remember she couldn’t swim. She wouldn’t like that at all, so maybe it’s along the bank

Knowing that you’ve done the absolutely right thing, doesn’t make the loss easier to take. But family and friends do. My granddaughter saw how upset I was – regardless of my trying to hide it and she and got a bandage. She carefully and crookedly put it on my hand and said “This will make it all better Grandma.” It really did help.

Thanks for listening.

I thank you for your emails from others explaining their feelings about when to put their loved ones out of their misery...

Hooch, is 16 years old, Golden Retriever, female,...and the most sweetest, lovable dog I had. I had her when she was 6 mo. old, now she's approaching her final days.

I questioned "when", but felt better when I read the emails.....they sounded just what Hooch and I were going thru....

She is the only one who loved me no matter what ...didn't care if stayed out at night, came home late... smelled or didn't kiss her when my life was too busy.... but she loved me.

This xmas I lost 2 close forever friends, my neighbor who died at 53, and soon my dog ...I can only believe that I will get over this being a better, wiser, and stronger woman who can help others going thru the same situation.

But, I will always have in my heart and remember my friend, my baby, who loved me no matter what.

Hoochie Baby....this is for you .....I love you. Come to me from the rainbow....soI can be happy again.

So, I'm giving her more Deramax ...because she can't move ....won't eat dog food and defecating/ urinating in house.....she's panting, and has more tumors from cancer..but without her ...I will be lost. I think she is the only one that loves me...the Vet says this is the "time"... I need to wait though. I'm a mess. I think this upcoming death is going to be worse than my other friend.

I want to thank you for your web site. It informed me of questions and info that others couldn't express or know what to say.

I love Hooch....and I still cant live without her.....

I needed to visit my family doctor who helped me focus on Hooch and getting over this pain of losing her.....my friend, my baby ....because I'm crying every day.

I bless you for helping others...

Teri.
Royal Palm Beach, FL

Hi,

I just wanted to write and say thank you for your lovely site.

We had to have our beloved dog T put to sleep. He was 14 1/2 and we have had him since a puppy. I felt I needed to put something in writing to say how much I miss and love him. He, unfortunately, had extremely bad dementia, poor eye sight, was going deaf and had arthritis. We have been trying different tablets for months now to see if anything would help. Nothing has. The poor darling would just stand there looking embarrassed and mess on the floor. I would clean up after him, give him a cuddle and we'd go about our day. I would have done that for an eternity, I loved him that much. It really didn't matter to me how many times I'd have to clean, but it was unfair on T and my daughter who is only 3 and my husband.

After beating ourselves up for months and then reading your site we finally starting talking about what to do and see if there were any other options before we'd give up. My husband took T to the vet this Saturday. He told me to say goodbye, just in case. I had already done it that night. Somehow I just knew I'd never see him again. I gave him a big hug, kiss and we spend some time alone before they left. As they left I just knew. My husband called me at 11.20am. He was gone. I've not cried this much since I lost my nan.

This is the hardest decision anyone will ever make. Thank God for this site so we can all share in our heartache.

Thank you

M N (UK)

To the people who manage this unique site,

Today my parents, my sister, and I put down our family dog, Checkers. She was a black and white Cocker Spaniel who was 12 years young, she had just reached the mark 1 week and a day prior to putting her down. Checkers was my best friend, not because I lack friends of the human kind, but because I felt a kinship with her in a way I did not with my other close friends. It was special and it was important to me.

The decision to put her down had begun to manifest itself three years ago after Christmas of 2001. My dog went partially blind, but this was not an entirely unexpected happening, as we had known she had an eye condition related to small eyelashes protruding into her eyes since she was a puppy. A veterinarian who was an eye specialist had given her five years more with vision when she was 1 year old. So I was happy that the condition hit her in the latter years. A visit to the veterinarian office after the new year was reassuring: she was in perfect health and spirit, just with bad eyes, and she would enjoy a long life. Checkers adjusted quickly, and my family was able to enjoy our time and routines with her. But the nagging question began in the back of my mind: How soon before I would have to let her go (if at all?) by putting her down?

My aunt and uncle had a Cocker Spaniel named Logan, who was older then all of my family's kids except me, so he was like one of the kids. My aunt loved Logan, and for much of my childhood, I had known Logan first as a mature dog, then as an old dog, and finally in High School, as a dying dog. He was skinny, incontinent, deaf, and weak. He crawled along with a baby's diaper attached and was a pitiful sight to see. But my cousins (My aunt and uncles's young children) were too young to see their doggy off to a visit with the vet. Logan lived for 17 years, but it felt like he was dying for the previous five. He died in their arms on the night he was scheduled to go be put down.

I always believed that it would be different. Since I was older then my younger cousins, I would be able to recognize when Checkers would need a humane release from this world. Things were going fine for a while. Checkers only slowed down a bit, and instead of a 3 mile walk, she made 2 1/2, but she was 10 years old I thought. She slowed down, but moved around no differently then when she could see. Then, earlier this year, my sister left to study abroad in Japan. She secretly confided in my parents to put her down at the first instance of pain or suffering, and against any protests I might have. She could not bear the thought of returning after nine months to see her best friend's soul withering away. One month after my sister left, Checkers had a sore the size of a golf ball on her neck. She had shallow breathing and her eyes were glazed over. I panicked. Luckily, my vet was able to fit me in before the weekend, and he drained the cyst. It was benign, and there were no signs of cancer. But for the first time in 11 years, instead of smiles and reassurance, he mentioned to me about the options for putting her down. He talked about minimal to intricate involvement, and said that she will recover, but that I and my family would find ourselves at a crossroads one day about putting Checkers down, or taking the route my aunt and uncle did with their beloved Cocker Logan. Checkers survived, but she was slowing down. She was tired. She no longer had the energy to go wandering and bumping her nose into things. Her gleeful trot was gone, and soon her hearing was gone too. She moved around with grace and dignity, and with no pain luckily, but she was a far cry from the rambunctious puppy of yesteryear. The only bright side to her slow decline was the increase in her love and affection for our family. Ever the independent girl, she began to spend the entire night on each of our beds, and she would snuggle with us, instead of pushing us off the bed! But as the year slowed down, cooled down, and the Holiday's approached, my family, my parents, and my sister forced me to confront the issue of putting her down soon on a weekly basis.

The only person in my family who was on my side (for not putting her down) was my Aunt. But I knew my Aunt shared the fear and loneliness in my heart about doing such a thing, and I was afraid to follow her ill-begotten course. Checkers had been with me since grade school, junior high, high school, college, and now graduate school. We both had grown from little ones to adults, and both of us had come to depend on each other for comfort. This October, when my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer, my dog, blind and deaf though she was, found me that night and stayed with me: not because I put her on my lap for warmth, but for some reason she found her way over from her chair in the living room to the couch downstairs I was on. I knew then I could not let her go. She made it through Thanksgiving, but she was withdrawing. Her lust for curiosity and fun was dwindling, though she moved with ease and with no pain. She continued to develop cysts, but I attended to them as frequently as possible. After Thanksgiving where she spent the day resting in a wicker chair, the family told me it was time: put her down before Christmas when things will really be hectic they say. But I asked for, and was granted a reprieve for her to see her 12th birthday and her last Christmas. She was a good girl to the end. I did not think about the appointment for this last week and a half, and I made no changes to my routine. I loved her as much as possible.

Last night, my sister broke into tears of anger. She cried that Checker's last thought would be fear: She hated the vet and we were just dropping her off, not staying with her. I comforted her about the decision, I thought I was comfortable with, and last night as I turned of the lights and locked the doors, I found Checkers awake at 11:00, which was very unusual. I held her in my arms and moved around the house we both grew up in. "See this Checkers, this is the house you grew up in. These are the people you loved. And this is the best friend here you ever made. Thank you for being in my life." This morning, everyone was crying except me. It made it no easier that Checkers was more active then she had been in a year. And of course, the guilt of seeing a dog with love and energy (even at 12 with no eyesight or hearing) made me feel guilty, and dirty. I somehow found no trouble moving to the car and making the short two minute trip to the vet. I waited in the car for my dad to come out of the vet's office. He came out crying, it was only the second time in my life I had seen him do so (the other is when his father died) and he said he could not bring himself to take Checkers in. I did. A lovely assistant held the door open and comforted me until I was inside. I was crying silently. A lot of small kids with their dogs were inside looking at me, "Mommy why is he crying?" their parents knew what was happening, and the whole office stopped. Checkers was wagging her tail in my arms and licked the nurse when she made it into her arms. I could hear the parents politely telling their kids "please do not stare, this is already hard for him, poor guy" I told the assistant simply, "I'm sorry"

The assistant smiled back and said, "no, you're not" She meant this with all the kindness in the world, and she walked away with my best friend. I could not go with her, and I had to leave the office. We went straight home. I've spent the last few hours trying to distance myself from today. She is never coming back, and I will never have another dog like her. A part of my life is gone, and a chapter of my life is now closed too. The sadness I feel is hard, and what's worse, winter vacation will be over in three days and I will be plugging away with graduate school again. There will be little time to reflect on her and this agonizing decision my family and I have made.

Other people on this list have put down dogs with conditions far worse then mine, and yet, and can not think of any way Checkers would have gotten better. There are no pills and shots to reverse blindness and deaf ears, or erase the sores she had. She would only have gotten worse, but she behaved like she suffered from nothing, and had absolutely no cares in the world: just like a dog should. It may be a long time before I can afford to open my heart again to another dog, not because I would compare her with Checkers, but because I have felt the pain of putting a dog down, what seems to be inevitable when one owns a dog. Yet finding this board has brought solace, and I'm glad that the feeling of sadness and concern is both heartfelt and shared.

Thank you for your time, and thank you Checkers... I love you.

Tyler (your buddy)

Dear Mr. Frawley,

I just wanted to write and express how much your web site about putting pets to sleep has meant to me in the past few weeks. Yesterday, I put my 14 year old Dashchund to sleep. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I was so torn up about when would be the "right time". Your site helped through this really tough time.

My B.B. dog was amazing. She slipped a disc in her back 7 years ago (she was paralyzed in the lower half of her body) . We opted to get her walking again with home water therapy and she used some wheels for awhile (vs. surgery or having her put down). After a year and a half, my husband and I had her walking like a drunken sailor. She improved her walking as time went on. She has always been spunky and an outdoors dog, even though she was a little dog. We like to rock climb, hike and go camping. B.B. was always with us when we did these things, even after her accident. A couple of months ago, she even wandered away from our camp in the mountains at 8500 feet. She was quite deaf and blind. We felt so terrible. We looked for her for hours and thought we had lost her forever. We awoke at first light to look for her to the sound of coyotes, it was cold (35 degrees), and starting to rain. It felt hopeless and just didn't want it to end this way. We kept looking and by some miracle my husband and 3 year old son went around a corner a little farther. They had found our little handicapped dog, B.B. She was cold, wet, and shivering, but alive. I thanked God and spent the entire morning with her in my coat, warming her. She seemed to come around pretty quickly with food and water. Our entire family was so grateful. Then, a couple of weeks ago B.B. started getting sick and refusing to eat. This was so unusual for her. This dog would normally eat until she couldn't walk if given the chance. I took her to the vet and they gave her antibiotics for a bacterial infection. She did ok for a couple of days. Then, things just got worse. She wouldn't eat and she was losing weight. My decision to call the vet and make "the appointment" came when I found her laying in the sun (she loved to sun herself and be warm). She had had an episode of diarrhea and lost control of her bladder. She was just laying there sleeping and didn't even know she had done it. She didn't rouse until I picked her up to take her to clean her up. I knew it was time for her to be at peace and have some dignity at the end. The hard part was she was still looking at me with those big, brown eyes until the end. Still, I know I made the right decision. We will spread her ashes on the top of "our" mountain in the spring/ summer when the wildflowers are blooming. I am trying to celebrate her life rather than be too sad. She was an incredible dog, who touched so many people's lives.

I told her that she will always be my "baby dog" and I will see her in heaven.

Thank you,
Brittany

I sit here in my office in tears. I just got the call from my husband saying that Fang is gone. Fang is, was, my 16 year old Akita/Chow mix. I had my husband take him because I knew I would be a wreck.

I remember the day I got Fang. I was in school in New Orleans and my roommates brought him home. He was 8 weeks old and scared of the world. I ended up caring for him the most and he soon was solely mine. After college, I moved back to Connecticut with my parents, who had been caring for Fang while I finished school. Soon after that, I moved to Atlanta and Fang followed after I settled in. I'll never forget my mom crying at the airport because I was taking him away. We lived in Atlanta while I finished chiropractic school and then moved to south Florida. I always joked that he was a very educated dog...not only did he go to undergraduate school, but graduate school as well.

In the last year I slowly saw Fang dissipate. He mostly slept. He had a condition known as idiopathic vestibular syndrome, which caused him to lose his balance and collapse every once in a while. He also became deaf and senile. I cry now, but I know it is for the best. I will always have my memories, and many happy ones at that.

Sincerely,
Shelley

Last Friday I found your web site and Thank God I did. I found out one week ago that we were going to put our 15 year old Bloodhound Lucy to sleep. It was hard for me to admit that she hardly had any quality to her life. She could hardly walk. She wouldn't wag her tail anymore. She no longer jumped up and ran to the door when I got in from school/work. It was getting bad. Every time she ate food her mouth would bleed. Her back legs could hardly work. It was too difficult to watch her in so much pain. I was in denial about putting her to sleep. I knew it was going to be hard but I wanted to be there when they did put her to sleep. My dad and I went. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do but I am glad that I was there and I am glad I got to hug her and be there for her.

I kept feeling like we were doing it too soon. We all felt like that. We were in the kitchen feeding her cheese, butter and bread about a half an hour before we left for the vet. My dad said "God I need a sign that we are doing the right thing..." Only a second after my dad said that big droplets of blood fell out of Lucy's mouth. It was obvious that she was in pain and we were doing the right thing.

We got Lucy when I was 4 and now I am 19. I still remember the day we got her, she was such a little puppy. I have never had to deal with a close loss until last Friday. I have been feeling so depressed and I miss her more than anything. Over the weekend I was in the shower and I swear I heard her barking. This past week has been so difficult. The rainbow bridge poem made me feel better. It made me realize that Lucy won't be gone forever. God can't put something with so much love in someone's life and then take it away for all eternity. I know I will see Lucy again. This web site really helped me. Thank You.

Lucy I love you so much and you will always be my sweet little hound dog.

I have been reading the emails from other pet owners who have lost a beloved pet. I have been around dogs all my life (32 years) and have lost a few myself... but I have having my Shar put to sleep tomorrow... this is the first one that has ever been MY decision. Other times it was my dad, who passed away in 1998. Other dogs passed away on their own. Most of my dogs have lived to see about 8-10 years old...not sure why so many have died so young ...liver problems, kidney problems, one went static epileptic (I think that's the term..had one seizure right after another..was having one at least every hour...that was Luke). Sometimes I think back with fond memories, other times, like today, I can only cry. Dusty, Tess, Luke, and to the two I barely knew because I was so young, Mark and Peg, you ALL have a special place in my heart.

Shar has been getting weaker the last couple of years. He has really bad arthritis..the last two weeks though, he seems to have gotten much worse..more trouble walking and standing and laying down. His appetite is not what it was a few weeks ago either. And with the hot and humid North Carolina summers, I don't want him to have to suffer through another one of those when he is already in pain. I'm afraid he won't be able to get to the shade or water one day ..I couldn't stand that. My dogs have always been "outside dogs" because my dad always had hunting dogs...they lived outside..but there has never been a lack of "spoiling".

I've had Shar since I was 18. My mom and dad divorced but still lived in the same city so I've always been able to see him every week...and every day since my dad passed away ..because Shar became my responsibility...100%. I have three others...oh, Shar is an English setter, then I have my lab, pointer, and one mix...not sure what she's a mix of..my best guess in redbone coonhound and either boxer or beagle ..found her on the side of the road one night going to Dairy Queen. But I'm rambling.

I know that Shar will be better off. Like I said, he is having so much trouble walking now..his appetite is going away..he has so much trouble standing up and laying down. But it's so hard to let go of a friend of 15 years. It sure doesn't seem like 15 years. And it gets so hot and humid in this part of NC during the summer ..I don't think he could take it..even though the dogs get ice in their water during the hot summer days :). I've asked God to take him so I wouldn't have to make this decision..but I don't want him to suffer any longer or any worse. So thank you for this chance to get this out ...I've shed tears already, and I'm sure there are more to come...but Shar, you, like all the others, will have your own special place in my heart. I love you my Shar buddy.

Frank

Hi,

I have been reading all the sad e-mails on your web, I feel like I was blessed when I found your site, and read the poem about the Rain bow Bridge.

I really needed something to help me get through the passing of my little Yorkie Buffy, she was almost fourteen years old, and she was my child, my best friend.

She got real sick and had been for the last year, we did everything we could to keep her going, but it time came when we had to make that horrible decision to take her to the vet and put her to sleep.

She died on March 2nd, and I feel like I died with her, I am so full of grief, I can't sleep or hardly eat, I miss her more than words can say. I keep looking for her, thinking she is going to walk into a room anytime, maybe its just wishful thinking.

I know in my heart, that now she is at peace and not suffering anymore, but even after all them years I still did not want to let her go, and I guess in my heart I have not let her go.

I miss her so much, I can not stop thinking about her 24/7, my mind just keeps going over the past years and all the wonderful times we had. I know that life has to go on, but she was my life, I loved her as much as I would if she had been my child, i never had children, so this little six pound ball of fur was my child, I know how you all are suffering, with the loss of your beloved pet, my heart goes out to all of you, for I know what you are going through.

The Lord blessed us all with these loving pets we all have had,and I also am looking forward to the day at that Rainbow Bridge. Thank you for all the wonderful and touching e-mails that are on this site, they have helped me a lot to get through this one day at a time.

Lynn

I wanted to let you know I read your article this morning about when to put your dog to sleep. We had a 14 year old Blue Heeler ( Australian Cattle Dog) that was extremely loyal, playful and fun till her last breath. She had been suffering from several ailments over the last couple of years and went through the same stages your article speaks of. Yesterday was one of her worst days and I kind of thought it was her time. After reading your article and all the emails, the decision was made to put her out of her misery. I wrote a little verse about things I learned from my 14 year companion. I hope it can be published on your web site along with the others to help those going through the painful process of putting their dog down.

What I Learned From my Dog (as told to me by Sadie over 14 years)

Dedicated to Sadie, A Wonderful Blue Heeler -13 years 9 months.

Died July 18, 2004 10:02 a.m.

1 - Life is too short to stay sad or mad.
2 - There is always time to play, no matter the time of day.
3 - Doing things the right way, makes my Master glad.
4 - If something starts to hurt, don't whine and sniffle, just curl up with a loved one's shirt.
5 - There are times to be tough and times to be sensitive.
6 - There are times to demand your way and times to let others have their way.
7 - If someone angers you, just let it go and refer back to lesson # 1.
8 - Be strong and courageous and always available for your friends.
9 - Traveling is exciting with so much to see. New faces and places, it's all fun to me.
10- Always greet your loved ones with your voice and a smile.
11- Unconditional love, it's hard to explain. In part, no matter what happens you are always in my heart.
12- Though we have gone our separate ways, I am sure we will meet again. The ending of my life is not the ending of my days.

Doug

Hi.

I know I have a cat, not a dog, but I came upon your wonderful site as I surfed for the answer as to WHEN to put her to sleep. Chakra is a 17 year old Maine Coon Cat, alpha female brown patch tabby, who has ruled my life since she was 8 weeks old. My soul mate does not begin to cover it.Folks just thought I was silly about cats until they met this odd, brilliant, spit and vinegar cat. I describe her this way: If she had been a dog, she would have been the best German Shepherd you ever had.

So when I found your site, and read the things folks wrote about their beloved dogs, I just wanted to tell you that all their words are helping me, too. Each person's story gives me a clue or an affirmation as to what or whether I am doing the right thing, and why it's so hard to figure out WHEN. She has cancer in her intestines, same symptoms as many of the dogs: stopped eating, listless...then an expensive test and a diagnosis that could not be argued with. We are in hospice phase now, using Prednisone, and treats, and love, and rolls of film, and endless tears and murmurings of I love you.

She had a good day yesterday, perhaps she is being a bit of a drama queen, but I know the end is there, like seeing the headlight of a subway train that lights up the curve of the tunnel before you can see the train. I am a mess, but will be with her until the end, and will bring her ashes home so I can again still sit with her in the morning when I have my first cup of coffee, like we have done for 17 years. I just hope she doesn't chew on the rainbow bridge as much as she chewed on my belongings in life! She should'a been a dog.

Thank you,
CherylAnne

Just wanted to thank you for your site, I had difficulties deciding when to put my dog to sleep and this gave me some reassurance. I am not alone, I like so many others have a little story to tell.

I got my shep/collie mix from a shelter 12 years ago after years of recklessness. Time to take some responsibility, hey start with a dog I thought. Who would have known that cute little puppy would be my world for awhile. Named Odin, he was such a great dog, did every trick imagined, protector, watch dog, companion and I still feel as if I let him down. Up until a month ago he was just slowing down. Had some bouts with hip problems, nothing steroids did not fix, but now he would not get better, steroids, just made him pee all the time, developed a hacking cough which made him choke, then lost his bark, and his eye got infected, oh I tried and said, just another day if he looks better.. well as you know it did not get better. I can't explain how it feels to wait for the time to come to put him to sleep, watching the clock tick and say soon baby it will be all over. I have a 4 year old daughter who loves him to death, he loved her as well, they played in the yard together, dug in the dirt and ate all the time, it was her buddy, had to tell her he would not be coming home, she told me he was going away to be a puppy again.

Yeah a puppy again...

Kendra

Ed

You have an awesome site. When I had a miscarriage my Dad (who was my best friend and a real dog lover) thought I should have a dog. We searched and searched for the right puppy. I told my Dad, I don’t know where he is, but when I meet him, I’ll know it and his name is Champ. Finally, I found him at a no-kill shelter; he was about 6 weeks old. He was a Shepherd mix and had mange, worms and God know what else. There were other dogs around and when a friendly Greyhound 15 times his size came over to sniff me, Champ jumped up and bit him right in the butt, chasing the Greyhound from the room. My father and I laughed uproariously. Dad I and I looked at each other and said, “That’s him.” He licked me all the way home and from that day on it seemed all he cared about was my happiness; I was his whole world. He was my constant companion, my confidante, and my protector. He was more determined to please me than any living being I’ve known before or since. He was there when I miscarried, he was there when my husband went on the road for his career, when I became pregnant, when my son was born, when I got divorced, and when my father died. When I lost my beloved nephew to a drug overdose my dog lie on the floor licking me while I sobbed so hard I thought I would die too. I once wrote his name as my Emergency Contact on the forms at my doctor’s office because he was really the only one that was always there no matter what – the office staff thought that was hilarious; they had no idea how serious I was.

He was 14 when I put him down on Labor Day 2006. I will never know if it was the right day. If it wasn’t, I really hope he forgives me; I loved him so much. Afterwards, my husband encouraged me to consider getting another dog. I told him, “I’m not just going to go get a dog; it has to be the right dog.” “How will you know?” he asked. I told him, “I really don’t know but in my mind’s eye is the biggest, blackest German Shepherd I’ve ever seen in your life – and his name is Monster.” Well, you may not believe this, but several weeks later through a very convoluted series of events (and quite unexpectedly) a breeder actually GAVE me Monster, the biggest blackest German Shepherd I’ve ever seen in my life. I wasn’t really even looking. I know my two best friends sent him to me. When I get to Rainbow Bridge, I’ll thank them both.

Many thanks and warmest regards

Dona

Champ the dog
Champ

Monster the dog
Monster

I was so pleased to find your web site. A friend told me about it on the day I had to make the awful decision to have my 11 year old Black Labrador put to sleep.

Just yesterday after many happy times I let my special boy go. He was my very first pet.

As it says at the start of this page things happened just like that for me too. I had tried everything I could but in the end I knew it was time. I took him up to the vets yesterday afternoon, I couldn't help but feed him a few treats. He has never been afraid of the vets and they have always been very kind so I knew that everything was going to be ok. As he drifted to sleep I held him, stroked him and talked to him. In the end he seemed to lay his head down, it felt as though he was saying "thank you for letting me go."

I will always love him and he will always be my special boy. Thanks to all the other stories on this site that have been so much help to me.

Natalya

I found your web site yesterday as my sweet girl was getting weaker and weaker from kidney failure. She didn't feel like eating. She just wanted to sleep. She was 12, arthritic, diabetic and now her kidneys were failing. I called the vet and made the appointment for her to go. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I watched my father suffer through cancer but at least he knew when it was time to let go. I think Tasha would have kept on fighting just for my benefit. I couldn't let her do that. The vet said we did all we could and she was a very sick girl. I just hope I did the right thing. I can't take it back now. I know I did but it just hurts so much.

Your web site has helped tremendously. I know I will keep going back. It helps to read other stories and know that I am not alone.

Thanks again,
Veronica

Hi Ed,

Here I am again just 3 months after my sweet Tasha went to the Bridge. Our other clumber, Paddington, left us on Monday. He had a cancerous tumor in his chest. He passed on the way to the vet. I feel horrible. The last thing I wanted was for him to suffer. He did go quickly. He was such a wonderful dog. Such a presence in our home. We will miss him terribly. I am comforted knowing that he is at the Bridge with my father and Tasha. I can't wait to see them all again. Thanks again for listening. Your website is very healing.

Veronica

dog

Hello all,

Some of you may know that our adorable beagle, Beau, has not been feeling well for approximately 2 months. He had severely swollen lymph nodes most likely associated with severe infection and cancer. The high dose steroids had greatly improved his behavior and he was seemingly normal for the past 2 weeks with the exception of the lumps on his neck and chest. He took a drastic turn this weekend and was clearly in great discomfort. As much as we wanted him to make it through the holidays, we made a difficult but humane decision this morning and he passed on earlier today with David by his side. We know he will be chasing endless rabbits and squirrels through the fields without any pain! Just a little photo to remember him by.... he was a sweet, inquisitive, stubborn little hound dog that would follow his nose anywhere, but he always came back home.

Love,
Danielle, David, Rebecca, & Beau

beau

Jambo vom Leerburg
19 June 1996 - 21 September 2008

Hukka went this morning to the forever play ground to run with all his buddies. There is dogs and and there is dogs and then there was Hukka, he was special and I will miss him dearly!

Hanna-Leena

Ed's Response:

Very sad – the problem with loving dogs is they don’t live long enough. The older I get and the more of my dogs that grow old and dir makes me realize this.

Maybe this web page and the comments from others like you and I will help

Click here for the previous page

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