Hello all. I am looking for some moral support. I am wondering if anyone can lend a hand.

I am a trainer and for the first time in a long time I have found myself fed up with some (not all) the owners of the dog world. I am currently going crazy with 3 clients and I am in a state of confusion as to what to do.

A little background on me. Brief. I have spent the last 11 yrs of my life dedicated to the Dogs of the world and have tried to make a difference in the lives of the people that love them. I have submerged myself in the study of the art of training dogs, and I am well respected in my community for the work that I do. I have a passion for my craft and I take pride in the work that I accomplish. I have been trained by a master trainer that is very decorated and well known. Although I am by no means the best out there, I always do the very best job that I can do. I have trained thousands of pet dogs, movie and commercial dogs, and donate my time to my local shelters for obedience with great success. I say all this not to puff my feathers, but I am not someone who took a class and read a book and called myself a trainer.

So here is my question. Why is it when the average person calls me for my services they want to be combative? I just dont get it. I didnt knock on their door or call them up and ask them to train their dog. They called me. They called because they had a problem. THEY called. I have a hard time with people who have a suffering dog, either sep anx, chronic fear, housebreaking issues, yada yada and when offered the advise they desperately need, they refuse the help...

I say to them,"Crate train"....They say,"I wont put him in a cage"
I say "Prong collar"( w/detailed info on the benefits of).... They say,"Never!!"
...Corrections......"I dont want to hurt him"
....45 min of exercise daily......"I dont have the time"
You get the picture.
And to make it worse my blood pressure goes through the roof for two reasons.
#1. I have dedicated my everything to the welfare of animals and it is a slam to me as a professional that they say, "I dont want to hurt him," as if I do. They are the same people that let their dog with sep anxiety remain with their other dog or with friends and family, instead of, attacking the problem and solving this emotional basket case of a dog. I guess that doesnt hurt?
#2. I have a love for the dogs and it kills me that they live with a ignorant human that wants to sit and bitch about how difficult the dog is and I have to defend the dog. My heart goes out to them.
Do I ..

cancel the client and tell them I am not the trainer for them. we dont see eye to eye on methodology and say a little prayer for the dog?

or do I....

continue the job and educate the owners as much as they will allow to help the dog?

I know you can lead a horse to water.....but can you shove em in the bucket if they don't drink!

Needed to vent. Thanks to whomever reads.

In my opinion you're dealing with generic people handling issues, not dog training issues. I bet professionals from many fields, not just dog training, can identify with you and the problems you are having. If I understand you correctly, you see a problem that you don't know how to solve. Is that correct? I'd look into some classes to bolster your own people skills. Something to teach you negotiating skills, objection handling skills, that kind of thing. Those classes can help you learn how to communicate better with your clients, to find the best method to get through to them. Still, even with the best training and skills, there will still be people who, because of their attitudes, you won't be able to help. In that case I think you should learn to identify them early in the process and break off the relationship with them. I hope this makes sense.

Danielle,
You do what you can.You'll never teach anyone to have common sense.When someone calls you for help and they are defensive about the whole thing, let them go to someone else! Why put yourself through that.You do your job well and the ones that took your advise, I'm sure are happier dog owners .But you can't save them all! I know you say you love all dogs etc.. but take the people that are open to changes(for the better) and refuse the other one that won't try new methods or fight you on everything. You do a good deed, and give your heart to your job as a trainer, you will always have bad apples ,just turn them down, you never know they might think about it and come back with an open mind. Good luck and keep up the good work, you are needed out there.

Good advice rich

THank you for the kind words. Great advice. Sometimes you dont know the pain in the butts till a lesson or two in. I just had a bad day and I dont have very many people that relate to my line of work and needed a place to drop my woes! I love the advice for managing clients and I am going to look into a class on it...That is great. Thanks guys.

This is just an idea, but before agreeing to take on a client why not have a brief questionaire for them to fill out. Include some yes/no questions about the main pet training issues and devices. For example (circle yes or no):
1. Housebreaking problem: yes no
2. Destructive (chewing): ye no
3. Have or willing to buy and use crate: yes no
4. Willing to buy and use training equipment trainer requires: yes no

Anyway, something along these lines might help you weed out the ones that just refuse to listen and learn.

I agree with Ms. Hayes.

Interview the person or persons seeking your service. Why get involved with a nincompoop?

People ask me how I 'got my dogs to be so good?' Usually the mope is at the end of a leash being controlled by their pet. My usual response is a terse 'you gotta remember who is supposed to be training who.'

And don't you just love it when an owner turns over the leash and the dog almost immediately follows commands that it ignores from its owner? I do.

If you are good at your work, then it is fair to have a slight attitude. The 'owner' came to you, remember.

A guy asked me a question the other day, and as I started to answer he blurted out an answer to his question, to which I responded no and started to answer again but he blurted another answer out. The sequence went on a few more times before I held my hand out to gesture 'stop.' I asked the guy, 'if you know the answer, why did you ask me?' Not a good listener - probably either of us.

Ms. Haffner, you have the ability and experience. You set the tone for the exchange of that knowlege. The short version: 'my way or the highway.' You can't save some people from themselves, or their pets from them.

Two cents worth.

Hi Danielle. First, congratulations on your success with your own business! Gary and I started our own business a few years ago. We're thrilled to be free of "corporate life" (that's what we wanted) but I can relate to the fact that some customers can be very frustrating. We also provide a service - we do computer support work.

I like the ideas that others have put forward - we can always use classes to fine tune our people skills, etc. I think the questionaire idea is good too as a potential "week out" tool.

Another idea if you haven't already done this is to collect some customer testemonials that might help you when convincing someone to use a crate, or a prong, or whatever your customer's most common issues are. LOL - I remember how cruel I thought crates were back when I got my first puppy. (boy did I change my mind fast on that one!) A testimonial letter from another happy customer that says "I used to think putting my dog in a crate would be like putting my dog in the zoo...... but after working with Danielle...... and now me and my dog are both happy....."

One of the big objections in our business is Gary's hourly rate. It's on the high side for our area, and these days there is always a college student running around claiming to be an expert at 1/4 of our price. But you can't replace 20+ years of experience - Gary can COMPLETE every job and do it right, and do it in far less time than a less experienced person can. So...we have a customer testimonial that we use to just solidify this point. For us anyway, it's a technique that has worked quite well.

Best wishes!! Hope today is all good with your clients!

Beth

Hi Danielle,
I agree with what's been advised so far; especially Rich's advice on people handling.

You have a tough job but as you know, trainers are sometimes the last link between the owner and the needle. Harsh but true. People will blame the dog - that they are just not trainable. So please keep up the good work, the dogs can't tell you how much they appreciate it. I think the dogs are the easy part; it's the people! Ugh!
Hang in there,
Lynn

Try explaining "Why," to people. Often they lack the perspective to see what you see. They think in human terms and need to be taught to think in dog.

I've had several people complain when they see Jäger in his crate. I ask where dogs live in the wild, then I lead them to say caves, dens, and warrens. So, the crate is his den. I had to put a blanket over his first wire crate because he always stayed balled up in a corner. I put a blanket over it and his brain said he was safer. Now he sleeps all sprawled out, I have a picture of it.

Put a prong collar around your thigh and yank on the leash. Now offer them to try it. Point out how the dog's mother, and dogs in the wild correct each other.

I've taught a lot of subjects, mostly weapons systems and small arms marksmanship. I've always done better than my peers because I teach people why.

Also, learn to ask pointed questions that you know the answer to. People seem really attached to their own ideas, even if you led them by the hand to the idea.

I'm sure you have a vet you prefer. Offer them the vet's number and tell them they're free to call and see if the vet's office thinks you're cruel, or, how often you bring in dogs that you've injured.

You need to relate the known to the unknown for people, just telling them to crate train is pointless. Telling them that fluffy is genetically wired to seek out small caves to feel safe and sleep the best makes them think they are doing something positive for fluffy.

Telling them that fluffy desperetly needs a structured pack environment so he'll be emotionally stable makes feeding him last seem like a labor of love.