I try really hard not to be a hard ass about dog related stuff because I don't know everything and I feel it's important to acknowledge that I really don't have all the answers. Lately however I'm having a hard time finding my moments of zen when dealing with people and their dogs.

Like the person who accuses me of not cutting the dogs nails last time she was in because they're so overgrown now 3 1/2 months later. The friend who says tells me she's putting down a deposit on an 8 week old Am staff puppy to be ready in July after she has her first baby in June. The breeder that tells me $1200 is the stud fee on a dog "that's had all the testing" but she didn't turn it into OFFA. Then when I offer to pay the $30 for the listing fee prior to agreeing to the stud contract she just says OH! That's not necessary to have it listed. Finally the guy who brings in a dog to board with a baggie full of lunch meat and cheese, and a box of chex cereal and in the same breath tells me the dog always has diarrhea and he doesn't know why.

Maybe it's the stress of life getting to me but it seriously feels like I'm about to start bleeding out of my ears. Maybe Seattle polite is finally breaking my brain but I'm curious how others express opinions without alienating everyone around them on matters like this or do you just ignore it with the attitude I just can't fix stupid and say a little prayer for the dogs involved. Thoughts? Anyone?

 Quote: melissa thom

...I'm curious how others express opinions without alienating everyone around them on matters like this or do you just ignore it with the attitude I just can't fix stupid and say a little prayer for the dogs involved. Thoughts? Anyone?

I feel your pain.

I used to be a lot more vocal about this kind of stuff, but in my own experience, it seems that most people just don't want to hear it. In general, I have a policy about not offering unsolicited advice, which when I go against it, tends to reinforce the policy in general. Ignorance is bliss, and it seems to me that so many just prefer to remain ignorant.

The compromise I've found for myself is to ask someone, "Are you interested in hearing some information about "X"? If the person responds in the affirmative, I'm off to the races. If not, it's K'bye.

One thing that really makes me nuts tho and which I can't seem to stop myself from commenting on is people who don't pick up after their dogs. I'll go up and offer them poop baggies (always in my pockets, even in my current dogless state), and give them grief if they have an attitude, but besides being so damn unhealthy, this is one of the reasons that dogs are becoming less welcome in more and more places. Just frosts me to no end.

leih

Good lesson from Leih to me.

Melissa,

I assume it it human nature and not much can be done about it, but that doesn't mean I don't get my panties in a bunch from time to time and TRY to do something about it... However, I can't say I've ever been successful at changing someone's mind on any topic in which THEY weren't the one who broached the subject and wanted input or advice. I have found it is easier to have some effect on people to whom I am closer; good friends or family are far more apt to listen than someone with whom I don't have a relationship. And I am far more apt to listen to someone I trust and to whom I've gone to for advice.

To be honest, I've been on the other side too, and can think of a few times when people have given me unsolicited advice to which I immediately felt defensive. In hindsight, some of that input was appropriate and well-intentioned, and it was childish of me to have that typical knee jerk reaction of "who are you to tell me what to do?".

We see it time and time again on this forum; people who post a question but dont' REALLY want advice unless it falls into "Category A". You can see it coming too - they normally include comments such as "and I don't want any comments on the fact that I'm doing A, B, and C - don't go there"! They are definitely the hardest folks to help...

One thing which MIGHT help in some instances such as the guy who is feeding his dog lunch meat and cereal would be to have some printed information on canine nutrition, diet requirements, from other "professionals" to hand out or on diplay in your shop. Same thing with what to look for in a breeder, etc... You could simply say something to the effect of "one of my other client's was having that problem and they said this information was helpful"... Who knows... can't hurt, might help.

In the mean time... get a massage and burn some aromatherapy candles in your shop.

I will try to offer suggestions that worked for someone else when it seems feasible, other time I just bite my tongue.

I also run into this a lot with people keeping fish. The ridiculous things they do to fish is appalling. I realize they are just fish, but they are still living beings that you are choosing to care for.

I ran into a woman last weekend who was keeping 4 golfball size goldfish in a 5 gallon tank that had been set up a week and wondered why they kept dieing, she was at the store looking for more fish to add to that tiny little tank. I was going to say something but for once they person working actually did.
Not to mention all the dinner plate sized Oscars being kept in tiny tanks, or the people who say they want new fish so they just stopped feeding the ones they have so they will die.

I think you are in a particularly tough spot, because I'm sure that a large percentage of really clueless behavior comes from your clients.

So you have to walk that fine line of not pissing a client off, while trying to help their dog and educate the owner.

How about an 'information' sheet that you could leave in your shop that covers some of the basics (or maybe a 'My Favorites' sheet that lists websites, dog food recommendations, training tips/methods, etc.)

Just an idea anyway; not sure if it would be worth the bother...
ETA: Whoops, I see that Barbara already had this idea! Must be a good one then!

 Quote: Lynne Barrows

So you have to walk that fine line of not pissing a client off, while trying to help....

It's not easy being queen

Jennifer, I can 100% sympathize with you. Working at a pet superstore, I really see the worst of the clueless people...

I helped someone last week that came in looking for "ear drops" for their dog (they had the dog with them). When asked what kind of "drops" they were looking for, they said they needed something to help with itching. So I looked in the dog's ear. I have NEVER SEEN such a bad ear infection in all of my life! The entire canal was filled with pus. The flap of the ear was covered in scales, and pieces of the skin were just falling OFF into my hand. I was just completely lost for words... When I tried explaining they needed to see a vet, they said that this happened before and they bought "drops" and it went right away. I wanted to spit in their face.

And also about the fish. My husband works one day a week in a saltwater specialty store. People have a mentality that fish are disposable. That they are meant to be short-lived little spectacles that they can show off to their friends for a couple weeks till they die. Its very sad because I have a soft spot for marine fish. My pair of clownfish are so tightly bonded its adorable. They snuggle up in their anemone together, fiercely defending their little clutch of eggs. It makes me sick to think of all of the misinformed idiots trying to buy "Nemos" for their kids room that are doomed before they ever leave the store!

All I can do with people is do my best to educate them. If they don't listen, then they don't. If they think I'm crazy, whatever. At least I know I've said my peace and encouraged them to do the right thing. Every once in a while, the light comes on and they listen to me. So its worth it.

I totally understand.
Having just placed a stray lab pup..about a yr old that followed the truck home.....and screening the people.....gaahhhh.
We couldn't keep him, the stupid chickens kept wandering into his pen...oooh look squeeky toys, and they flutter and run about and wow!
Any way.... Some of the people I talked to...wow just wow.
You mean I have to walk him twice..for 30 min each walk..!!!
And keep him in a crate!!!!????
Not many of them wanted to listen.
I feel your pain.

The others had some great ideas. I like asking if they want information on x....as well as giving written info, that is always good.

Hang in there.

In real life I don't even offer advice to people who aren't friends and then I only do so when the timing is right. It can be hard enough getting through to a willing student at times.

Here's an example using my best friends. They've had two rescue chihuahuas for, what, about two or so years. They got their 11 year old daughter a Pom pup for Christmas. These people are what I refer to as "average dog owners" because they quite honestly don't have the first clue how to read or train a dog nor have they been overly receptive to unsolicited advice in the past. They also expect their 11 and 9 year old daughters to be the primary care givers for the dogs, for responsibility. My friend was getting increasingly upset about finding puppy surprises literally all over the house. The daughter's attitude was "I'll just clean it up because I don't want to go outside in bad weather". One day while we were hanging out and he was telling me his tales of woe, about stepping in a pile in the middle of the night and getting into bed without realizing it and the 11 year old getting upset that the pup like her little sister more, I said "hey dude, how about having her train her dog as an extra-circular activity?" (the kids are home schooled). "Man, I don't know anything about training a dog, you know that." Long story short, I started talking to him about the puppy pack structure e-book. He asked to see it and then told me to print it out pretty much immediately. Now, about six weeks later, I never see the pup without her little girl and he hasn't complained about surprises even once. I wasn't rude, abrasive, abusive, or any kind of negative. I was polite, respectful, lead by example, and was ultimately able to change their situation for the better for all involved. He's happy, the little girl is happy that the pup is bonding with her, and the pup is happy to have the structure.