Thought it might be helpful (most likely completely futile) to post some thoughts from the perspective of one of us "on this side"... meaning one of the forum members who from time to time comes across anal and not too sympathetic.

First post I read this AM is from a member who, very possitbly, has received the most advice, support, suggestions, tolerance, input, etc... over any other member I've seen in the past 3 years - letting us know how anal we can be. Fascinating... and a bit irritating, but then, my second cup of coffee hasn't kicked in. Maybe it will get funny in a few minutes. Never mind that much of the advice has been on the same topic(s), over and over and over and over and over and over again. Never mind that countless questions from us went unanswered for days at a time (if not forever), never mind that much advice was simply ignored... WE are the bad guys for getting frustrated and letting that be known. WE are the anal ones for letting it be known from time to time how absolutely frustrating it can be to try and help people who only want to hear what they want to hear. Big boy panties on sale at Walmart today... jus' saying. (Oh, and don't bite the hand that feeds you also comes to mind.)

Then we have the folks who bring living creatures into their homes to fit into their lifestyle, just 'cause they wanna. Doesn't matter what the needs of that living creature are - it will simply have to learn to accomodate the very, very busy schedule of said human, or get locked in a room day in and day out. I mean really, who doesn't understand that being a busy mother, wife, athelete, super-hero simply does not allow any time to train or exercise this disposable creature in the kitchen? I'm pretty sure the dog was the last addition to this mix... the husband, kids and sports were in place PRIOR to dragging the poor dog into the environment. Now we need to find a loving home for an untrained, undersocialized pitbull in Colorado. And guess what...I'm gonna be the bad guy here for laying it out like this. Boo hooo. Big girl panties on sale at Walmart today as well. I guess it would be very ANAL of me to say how COMPLETELY SELF CENTERED it is for ANY human to bring a creature with very specific needs, into their home, KNOWING they don't have time to even begin to meet the needs of the animal. Some homes aren't fit for a goldfish, let alone a dog. BREAKS MY HEART... but then again, I'm pretty anal.

And my one last anal point, and then I'll shut up, is that just because you are 26, 34 or 99 and have had dogs alllllllllllllll your life, doesn't necessarily mean you have a clue. Really. All that means is you might know how to put out a bowl of kibble twice a day. THAT is pretty anal of me, isn't it? WHY come here asking for advice on vicious, frightened, or aggressive dogs and then IMMEDIATELY tell us how we don't understand the real situation and we are being judgemental if we dare suggest at ALL that perhaps YOU are creating part of the problem?? How DARE we speak bluntly about a potentially lethal situation without breaking out the baby powder and Gentle Wipes to make sure everything we say is sweet, loving and non-offensive.

From my perspective, some of the folks who come here asking for advice really don't want advice... they want validation that the mess they have created/are creating is perfectly fine and it is all the unbalanced dog's fault. They want a quick fix, they don't want to have to readjust their life in any way to accomodate that animal's needs, and above all, they don't want ANYTHING the least bit judgemental thrown their way. Well guess what? Sometimes a good dose of reality is exactly what is needed, and what the whiners don't have a clue about is how much WE DON'T SAY... how much we bite our tongues in order to continue to try and HELP THE DOG.

I could give several more examples, but that would be beating a dead horse... most of you get the point. Second cuppa joe has kicked in and I'm still not laughing, but at least it is off my chest.

If you come here looking for help regarding a dog, you are going to get help regarding the dog. YOUR feelings are secondary, like it or not. Some of us are anal that way.

 Quote: Barbara Schuler

If you come here looking for help regarding a dog, you are going to get help regarding the dog. YOUR feelings are secondary,

Valid thoughts, thanks for putting them out there. I'm not gettting into the drama other than to express my sincere appreciation for all responses coated or not. Members do this on their own, free time, for dogs. It is a dog forum for sharing and learning and is the number 1 place I come for dog information. I'm not sure about name calling of anal, details are necessary...dogs and behaviors are not black and white, details can be a must. Personality wise, we are all different and that is just how it is. Thanks folks

 Quote: Barbara Schuler

… learn to accomodate ….way to accomodate

Barbara, “accommodate” has two M’s.

LOL!!! Talk about ANAL!!! Thanks C.J.

I will do my best to accommodate everyone's opinion.
I will do my best to accommodate everyone's opinion.
I will do my best to accommodate everyone's opinion.
I will do my best to accommodate everyone's opinion.

(It is the ol' catholic' school coming back to haunt me...)

 Quote:

Personality wise, we are all different and that is just how it is. Thanks folks

Yes!!! Sheesh folks, it's the internet. There is no face to face here, we don't know anything more than what you're typing. Neither side gets the non-verbals of communication.

If something bugs you, there's a good possibility it's what you are projecting into the conversation. If something seems to be irritating everyone else, maybe you need to step back and try to see it from their perspective.

When I first came here someone told me I shouldn't have one of my dogs. I found it slightly irritating, but I also reaized that they didn't have all the information, in part because I hadn't given all the information surrounding my situation. So I explained more and let the rest slide off my back. I wanted to learn and I realized that there were people here that I could learn from.

I've been taking a break from here because I was spending way to much time partcipating in discussions that went round in circles. I figured that I'd have more fun blogging. And I have

Then I come back here and find that members are anal? from a guy that was being dramatic about his pup having parvo because the dog vomitted a little froth??? I realize that that is part of his personality, but sheesh! we aren't allowed to have a bit of our own?? Yeah.... that sure makes me want to help out in the future

Back to lurking and more important things - like nursing along and spending time with my old dog that has terminal cancer. It all kind of puts life in perspective.

only 4 lines? You must be too busy

I think this board generally does a wonderful job of putting aside personal feelings for the poster in order to help the dog.

It amazes me that people will post begging for help and then pass over what is normally very good advice in order to complain about the matter it is delivered. <shrug>

DAMN!
Barbra I got up early this morning and found this caffeine craving rant.
Pardon me if you can't see me right now but I have a huge grin on my face and I'm giving you a standing ovation.
I don't post as often as I used to because sometimes it's really hard to concentrate on typing because the tears are clouding the keybord. My teeth buried in my lip can do that to me.
Folks have no idea how gently they are handled on this excellent forum.
I say turn loose Vancamp and a few of the other old timers for a few days. The whiners will come crawling for forgiveness.

p.s.
Yes, it's the nuns that did that to you but I fought back.
All those years locked in the convent basement and janitors closets were nothing more then character builders and worth keeping my individuality.

Most people don't really want advice, they want validation of how they are handling the situation, dogs or otherwise. All the info on this board is really sooo good, I resent that I or my fellow board members are being called rather strong, insulting names. Geeesh !!!

 Quote: Betty Waldron

I think this board generally does a wonderful job of putting aside personal feelings for the poster in order to help the dog.

It amazes me that people will post begging for help and then pass over what is normally very good advice in order to complain about the matter it is delivered. <shrug>

Couldn't agree more with you Betty, well said. I can understand where Barbara is coming from entirely.

The most important thing that I wish could be taken away is that typically, every effort is made trying to help out the dog. That is why we're all here, right?
In the case of serious situations, cutting through the pleasantries and getting to the point directly is often the best way. Especially in cases where the person comes to ask questions over and over, without doing any of the research needed to help themselves. I feel this is the reason for the 'cut to the chase' answers.

Note to new posters; Many may not realize it, but there are TONS and TONS of threads here that have covered over many issues time and again. When you feel that someone is being a bit short or a perception of lack of concern and care for the 'said poster, keep this in mind. It doesn't mean people don't want to help you.
But realize that typically, the protocol is to use the search function and to do your own research first, before posting every single question that pops into your head. It is common sense.
Sorry for the bluntness, but it's true.

For many of the long time forum members, who have been here for years, giving out their time and advice, and when that advice is not being taken nor absorbed, there would be a natural tendency to lose patience, and who could blame any one of them?

Betty is right, generally, this board does do a fantastic job at helping out lots of people by putting personal feelings aside to help the dog.

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Joyce Salazar