K.C.
July 4th, 1988 - July 22, 2003.
My Best Friend Died Today.
My dog K.C. came into this world to take care of me on July 4th, 1988. I had just turned 19. She was a hellcat of an Irish Wolfhound pup... a small ball of white fur terrorizing anything and everything in her path. Nothing was safe... especially white socks and pant legs. She grew so fast you would thing she was secretly slamming pints of Miracle-Gro when I wasn't looking. As she grew, she found out just how fast she could run... meaning away from me at any time she wished it. She looked like an errant lightning bolt running accross the back yard. She used this speed to her advantage, running down any animal she could smell... from miles away. Occasionally she would proudly present me with her 'trophies', half of a rabbit or groundhog. She would drop it on the deck, so proud and happy to be able to give me this 'gift'.
All this time, we developed a very special bond. One that I fear I may never again have with anything or anyone... it was just that special.
I think it began on a bitterly cold day in the early part of winter, 1998-99, here in Michigan. We were out with a couple other people, down by the large pond near our house. The pond had a small stream that flowed through the center of it, thus certain parts of it wouldn't freeze for quite some time. K.C. loved to run on the ice. She was doing just that on this day, when we all heard a cry of panic and a splash.
One look and I knew my girl was in big trouble. I glanced over to see her pawing pitifully at the thin ice. It would break away everytime one of her paws tried to gain a foothold. As fate would have it, it was in the deep end as well... maybe 20 or 30 feet of water. Her whimpers were of sheer panic. Everyone was frozen in shock.
Except me. I never gave it a moment of thought. My girl was in danger.
Something inside kicked in, and it felt as though fifty gallons of adrenaline had been shot into my system. I ran out on the ice, making a beeline for my girl. I got as far as I could before it gave way, plunging into the icy cold water. I didn't let it affect me, although in the back of my mind I remembered something about having 30 or 40 seconds to get yourself out, or else the muscles freeze and lose their ability to function... then you drown. I broke the ice as I went along, finally reaching my girl. I grabbed her around the chest and made my way back towards thick ice. Her cries and shivers of panic were more than enough to get me motivated, and I was finally able to hoist her up onto the thick ice, where she was able to get to shore. I was barely able to get myself out before my muscles gave in. All the way back to the house, I was shivering so hard, I thought I would break a bone just from the vibrations.
I realized I had saved my girl's life.
Fast forward years later, to where we were living in Houston, Texas. I was about 25 years old now, and times had been quite rough. There was alot of things going on in my life as well as my head. I had lost my fiance' to a cocaine addiction... she had moved out and taken up residence with her coke addicted girlfriend. My job was driving me insane, I was isolated from every single one of my friends back in Michigan, as well as my family. I was all alone.
I was being extremlely stupid one night. I had drank entirely too much, and had a loaded gun in my hand. Sitting in the dark. Alone. Contemplating just how easy it would be to take away all of my pain. I had no one that mattered... I wasn't important to anyone.
All of a sudden, out of the dark like a silent train came my 80 pound Wolfhound. I was instantly covered in kisses, flying fur, and a bionically wagging tail. She never did this... she showed me plenty of affection, but never in this fashion, all of a sudden, for no reason. I realized that I did have responsibilities in this world... there was a very special girl that depended 100% upon my for her well-being. I never felt so loved as I did in that moment.
I realized my girl had saved my life.
Fast forward, back to Michigan. I am now 34 years old. K.C. had been in failing health. I had spent a huge amount of money trying different treatments for various issues. Money I couldn't afford to not spend on my mortgage, etc., but that didn't matter one iota to me. She was my baby girl. In the last couple weeks she had shown a huge improvement, and even did a little spin now and then when we were going outside. About a week ago, she stopped eating. She started to fail quickly. I was in shock, and going out of my mind. The only thing she would eat was Honey Roasted Smoked Turkey, cut up into little pieces, and only if I fed it to her by hand. I tried cooking everything I could thing of, then even resorted to baby food, but there was no desire for any of it, except the turkey from my hand.
I knew I should be giving her some peace, but I couldn't let go. She was my girl. I couldn't stand to be with out her. It would just hurt too much... then I realized I was doing everything for me, and not for her. Finally, after doing quite a bit of research and soul-searching, I called the vet this morning.
K.C. died in my arms today.
I will always love my special girl the same way I always have... unconditionally. It didn't matter to me that I had to clean up after her accidents every morning, or sometimes clean her off after she would be outside and fell in the dirt, or the land mines she had just made. I cleaned her wounds, comforted her, and finally made the most difficult decision of my life... to give her peace. It is tearing me up so much that mere letters and words can never explain... I miss my special girl so much...
I've been crying for six days now, and none so hard as today. I always tried to hide it from her, so she wouldn't know what I was going through. I think she did though... behind her beautiful, cloudy old eyes, I think she understood.
I guess I'm writing this for therapuetic reasons... to put down in words how much my girl means to me. I'm not writing this for sympathy or condolences, but rather as a story for all of you that own pets. In the end, I was thinking of what is best for her, not for myself. As I sit here, writing this, with tears still flowing, I am comforted just a bit by one thing. When it was all done, she laid gently down into my arms, and passed away peacefully and quietly.
I have never felt this much pain, nor do I hope to do so again. This has been the worst day of my entire 34 years on this planet. She was such a specail girl to me, and I believe that the amount of pain you feel is directly proportional to how deep my love, my bond with her was. But I do feel slightly comforted that I did the only duty I think she would ever have required of me... to ensure that when the time came, she went peacefully, with dignity and grace.
I love you K.C.... so much. You be good and wait by that Rainbow Bridge for me. We'll be together again soon, never to be parted again.
In loving memory...
-Lee Reicheld, your boy.
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