Awww, Betty

Paul finds it difficult to accept it when I tell him it's time to let one of the animals go. Our first loss together was old Ug. She was nearly 18, blind, half deaf, hips were going fast, and senile. I let her go like that way too long, hoping that Paul would figure it out and agree with me. He didn't figure it out, and when I made the appointment, he was pretty angry with me. It took him about a week to get over the anger...

When my horse Red was down with seizures and I called the vet to come out to put him down, Paul actually started yelling at me... he accused me of killing him and not even trying to help him... it was a very difficult day, week, month. Each time my mare Breeze would call out for Red, Paul would tell me that it was my fault that she was alone. When we got Winchester, he accused me of "replacing" Red and he honestly didn't like Win for about 6 months.

If you look at the stages of grief, the first stage is anger... for some it may start with the mere thought of loss- that's how it is for Paul.

Personally, I have to start thinking about it and preparing for it when I start to see the first signs. I need to prepare and be ready for it so that I can be strong for the animal when the time comes. I probably seem cold hearted when the vets give the shot, because I don't cry right away- I wait to break down until I know for sure the animal has passed.

No matter how you look at it though, it just seriously sucks.

Hugs to you and Kingster.

--Kel

Thanks guys. I also want to apologize for "the guy thing", that wasn't fair.

Kingster loves patroling his property. He has since the first time we set foot on it. We were walking it (no house yet) and he saw a couple of dogs on the property corner and ran towards them, actually chasing them off. He was on a long line and looked kind of relieved that he couldn't go any further.

He's a gentle soul.

When my husband was up here discing the property, he would spend a couple of hours just following the tractor.

Every day he patrols the perimeter of the fence line, sniffing out intruders. It use to be his first order of business but now most days it's a little later. Like me, I think he needs a bit to wake up in the morning.

The inspection of the grounds will be a biggie for me. When he no longer does that, even in an abbreviated fashion, that will be a sign I think.

It's funny how you find yourself taking on certain roles in life.

But he is doing relatively well now and I do have the blessing of knowing that our time together is precious.

I think our husbands may be related Kelly........

Sucks it most certainly does

My Dad, to this day, has never forgiven himself for taking the decision alone to have our 2 Boxers put out of their pain and misery, and this was donkeys years ago, despite knowing they were old, tired of the pain and discomfort and their eyes told him 'please let me go'

He still says to me 'I killed 2 of the best friends I ever had', I would like to say deep down he knows this is nonsense, but I think he mistakenly believes it none the less...

Please forgive the single guy for butting in... I know this was a couples only question, but I had to play both sides of the court.
I'm the only one left in my household,as my son moved out in March 2010. Just two weeks later, my 11yo Tera suddenly went downhill fast due to an accidental poisoning. It didn't kill her outright. In the course of one day I went from a diagnostic emergency room visit to having to make the worst decision imaginable (for me), and then return home to a now completely empty nest.
While I did have the same feelings as your husbands and was tempted to err on the side of selfishness, I ultimately knew I had to let her go. I was unprepared, so the grieving was intense. I couldn't go to work for a couple of nights (and I'm tearing now).
Betty, I am so, so sorry. Please talk to your husband about this everyday and try to get him to the same place as you before that sad day comes.
Maybe it IS a guy thing, as we are expected to be tough and our paternal instincts cause us to feel like WE'RE supposed to protect you. It really makes us conflicted in times such as these.

Duane sorry to hear of your loss and that decision you made is one I know won't be easy but extremely difficult.

Duane
Sometimes you know the decision you make is right only because it causes you so much personal pain and you still do it.

Almost the best definition of unselfish love I have ever accidently written I think.

I hope everyday brings you closer to the day that you can remember Tera with a smile on your face and not an ache on your soul.

Thanks, Betty.
Put one arm around Kingster and the other around your husband and let them know how much you support both of them.

In my house it's Jamie that usually sees it first - I die a little every time it's the time to let one go, and I'd put it off forever if I could.

From the perspective of the person who used to wield the needle it is 100% a guy thing.
But that's why we love 'em. Fellas don't always see faults in what they love--- they STILL see the girl they fell for in us too, even though when we look in the mirror we can't see her anymore.
The dog's not "so old" and we are not "so fat" "so wrinkled" !