Martha,
I'm coming into this a little late, and haven't read every single post, so bear with me if I have the wrong idea. But, I just wanted to give you an example of what has happened in my house, and see if it has any parallels to some of the things that you've observed.
I own two dogs, a Labrador male, and a 6 year old mixed breed bitch (probably a heeler/BC/springer cross). Both are great with well behaved kids. But, I have an 8 year old nephew who is very active, and has stepped on the bitch more than once, not watching where he is going. The last time this occurred, the bitch was resting on the floor, between the sofa and the ottoman. The nephew was going to sit on the sofa, and stepped right on the bitch, not seeing her. She snapped and growled at the nephew. She did not break his skin, and I'm uncertain if her teeth even made contact. But, it was a very clear snarl and snap. Now, normally, when a dog snaps or snarls at a child, one would obviously correct the dog. However, in this case, this particular child has stepped on this dog several times in the past, does not watch where he is going (at 8, I believe that he is more than capable of being more careful), and the bitch had had enough. She was clearly telling my nephew "HEY! Watch where you put your feet! They hurt, dammit!!!". I explained to my nephew that this is what the dog was trying to communicate to him, and that he should be more careful around the dogs. A few minutes later, the bitch was still on the floor in the same place, but now the nephew was sitting on the sofa, and letting his legs dangle down. His feet came within inches of the bitch's head, and she growled. At this point, I told my nephew that he had stepped on the dog enough times that she was now nervous about his feet and didn't want them anywhere near her. I also made the dog move and go sleep somewhere else, which is what I should have done the first time.
Because of these repeated episodes, she has little tolerance for this particular boy. He is one of those kids where you tell him not to do something, and five seconds later, he's doing it again!!!! Grrrrrrr! Sometimes I want to bite him myself!!!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
So, I have to make sure that *I* keep the dogs out of his way when he is at our house. The reason is that I would rather prevent certain situations than have to correct them.
Another thing this child did was sneak up on my Lab and scare him. I told him VERY sternly that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES was he EVER to scare the dogs, and that this is a good way to get bitten. Well, one day, I was outside on the other side of the six foot fence, straightening up the recycling area. My Lab was on the other side of the fence from me, just standing there sniffing the air, waiting for me to come back. My nephew came around the corner, up behind the dog, and attempted to startle him. When I came out from the other side of the fence and scolded my nephew, he DENIED the whole thing, even though I had seen it with my own eyes!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
I have two daughters that have grown up with dogs, and are very respectful and would NEVER mistreat or misbehave around the dogs. They are great with our dogs, and I completely trust them. But this nephew really ticks me off sometimes. I have to remind myself "He is only 8.....he is only 8...he is only 8...". I have shown him how to play with the dogs properly, and have attempted to educate him on how to be safe around dogs.
My point is, that you have to look at it from the dog's point of view sometimes. Sometimes, it is the *child* who is not behaving appropriately around the dog, eliciting the aggressive response. It's important to keep the child away from the dog if you know that the child is likely to misbehave.
In this particular instance, my bitch was reacting reasonably, and for me to have punished or corrected her would not have made any sense to her at all, nor would it have been fair. Simply making her go sleep in a different area with little to no foot traffic was really the best solution (along with reminding my nephew AGAIN that he needs to look where he puts his feet!!!).
Sorry for such a long post. I realize that there are some differences between what you posted and my experience, but I do see some similarities, too. I hope this has been helpful.
Lisa & Lucy, CGC, Wilderness Airscent
Western Oregon Search Dogs