Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: Bill Wanke ]
#106749 - 05/17/2006 11:39 AM |
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Maren, the dog in that video looks just like my Sandy! I bet Sandy would LOVE to learn those tricks. I shall investigate this.
The people on this board who don't think I love my dog make me sick. You have no idea what you're talking about. I've cried buckets over this dog, from the day I brought her home from the shelter--soon after which most vets told me to put her down--to this latest challenge. Y'all need to keep your judgments to yourself and comment only if you have something constructive to say.
Thanks to those who offered compassionate "I've been there" comments and suggestions. I'll drop you a line privately to let you know how Sandy's doing.
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Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: Catherine Coy ]
#106750 - 05/17/2006 12:05 PM |
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Catherine, you need to look at it from other peoples perspectives too. Someone new comes onto a message board, nobody knows who you are, and all they hear is complaints about your dog, you wanting to drug the dog and getting frustrated and annoyed. You obviously love your dog, but from your initial posts it sounds more like frustration and resentment than loving the dog, so you can't blame people for jumping to the conclusions they did, that's just the way it came accross, perhaps thru no fault of your own, but nobody knows you and nobody's psychic. I've said it before and I'll say it again... "if you don't wanna be judged for half the story then tell the whole story". People have also asked you several times "what things have you tried", I don't recall seeing a response to this so it makes it hard for people to not give you repetitive advice when they don't know what you already know.
An SA dog is sometimes a matter of adjusting your life to meet in the middle with the dog, take a little give a little, right now the dog has taken over your life, and you seem to wanna counter it by fixing everything completely. You need to meet the dog half way. This means tollerating some behaviors that you apparently don't care for, like the dog following you around the house, and solving the bigger issues like the dog having panic attacks when you leave. It's not about failing your dog, the only way to fail your dog is to not come to an understanding with your dog as to t the best way to live with them. Maybe you'll never cure the SA in that dog, but right now you're at one extreme looking to go to the other extreme, meet in the middle, if you really love the dog as much as you say you do, then meeting in the middle shouldn't bother you. I love my dogs, I left my GSD in the truck when training one night, I get back n he was on the front seat licking his lips after eating the pork I was taking home from the restaurant. I got home the other night n I saw a cracked dinner plate on the ground and all the food that was on there before was now gone. My reaction? "haha you're such a goofy dog, I guess I gotta buy a new plate now". I don't get mad, annoyed or frustrated for stuff like that, n if it bothered me, he can always go back to being in the crate when I leave the house. He walks around the house carrying my shoes around, I tell him "ok go get the other one now", he drops the first shoe and brings me the other one... n these are $200 shoes. He used to never be able to go outside alone, he won't even poop if I'm not standing in the yard with him because he wants to be with me, he used to bark non stop if I put him outside n closed the door, actually adding a puppy to the household has taught him patience and learnt that it's OK to be alone because he sees te puppy alone too (I teach her independance by leaving her alone n letting me walk around with her stuck in a crate). Now he'll walk outside n poop in the back yard without me, n he'll just sit at the door waiting for me to let him back in instead of barking his head off. He doesn't enjoy being alone, but he deals with it. He doesn't have severe SA like your dog, but the level of SA that he did have is far far less than it would be if I was stressing out over it. A good example of how dogs feed off your energy is that he went thru a phase of being fearful of fireworks, I live near disney so fireworks is a nightly thing that he hears. I got frustrated with him for such a stupid irrational sudden fear, n my frustration just made him more nervous and scared of fireworks. I finally just let him be, I didn't force the issue, I didn't pay any attention to his reactions, I'd stick him in the crate by the window n go downstairs n I'd hear him scratching n scratching because of the fireworks trying to get outta the crate. After a while of just ignoring him n not reacting, now he doesn't give a crap about fireworks. I know reaction to noise and SA are different, but it's all about the person. If you baby a dog they get even more dependant and want more attention, if you get frustrated the dog thinks something's wrong. I don't know how you react to your dog, but take it into consideration. I'm not saying you're doing anything right or wrong, these are just my thoughts, I'm not attacking you or judging you, just stating my experiences and how I would deal with it, take it or leave it either way doesn't bother me. Like I said, good luck with your dog, if you can't meet in the middle then maybe this dog isn't the one for you.
Have a good one.
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Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: Catherine Coy ]
#106751 - 05/17/2006 12:08 PM |
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The people on this board who don't think I love my dog make me sick.
I doubt anyone questioned the love you have for the dog, which is very much apparent, but I think a lot of us questioned your abilities. Not that this is bad- sometimes, people get more dog than they can handle. This doesn't make the person bad, especially if they tried everything in their own power and knowledge base. Maybe this dog will do better with someone who is extremely experienced. Some cases also cannot be rehab'd. I remember reading an article about a husky that tore through house walls from SA; it could only be kept at a vet's concrete and solid gate enclosure. This was a severe abuse case, however, and the dog ended up getting PTS because it then became a quality of life issue.
Just be open to the fact that this dog may well do fine in the hands of someone who lives and breathes dog behavior. Not too long ago I read a similar thread on another board, not on an SA dog but a dog who had so much drive that he overwhelmed the owner, who was in severe distress over this ordeal. The board helped the owner come to the realization that maybe he'd be better in another home, and a good home was found with a very experienced owner.
Don't be so quick to judge us- we're only looking out for the welfare of the dog.
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Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: Diana Matusik ]
#106752 - 05/17/2006 01:20 PM |
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Agree with above. Most of us here are dog lovers and enthusiasts. You love your dog but remarked that
"I'm also at the end of my rope from (1) being stalked from room to room by a dog; (2) taking her everywhere rather than confront destruction when I return; and (3) the expense of helping her added to her already HUGE vet bill."
IMO if you dont like an animal to follow you-especially a puppy from an adoption(traumatized) I'd look at getting a Cat or couch potato of a dog. Dogs can be destructive, especially when not exerted physically-exerted doesnt mean walks around the block. Find a suitable companion for the dog to play with and exercise and have fun if you cant committ to it-even a doggy day care thats responsible. Vet bills are a bitch but what you signed up for when you became a caretaker unfortunately.Dont question your love but your committment based on earlier posts-the following around part and drugging and crating.
I can tell you that members of my family would not be well suited with my dog, but she suits me fine. Different strokes. Good luck.
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Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: Catherine Coy ]
#106753 - 05/17/2006 01:26 PM |
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I have personal success dealing with a number of different dogs with seperation anxiety.
This is what you do.
1. Crate train your dog. There are countless articles on the internet to explain how this works, do a google search. Crate the dog at different times of day, but always when you leave the dog behind.
2. Exercise the dog. Every day you need to exercise the dog HARD. Not just a walk, but tire the dog out. Tired dogs don't have as much energy to be anxious.
3. Obedience train and socialize the dog. Take the dog out and socialize it and do obedience training. The work taxes the dog's mind and it will improve the dog's overall temperament in subtle ways.
If you do these three things, and do them well, you will be able to live with the dog. There are a number of other little training tips that can help in minute ways. Some have been mentioned here already. Desensitizing the dog to you leaving and arriving, etc, etc. Those things might help, they might not.
If the situation continues, your best bet is to medicate the dog.
In my experience you can deal with real seperation anxiety by controlling the environment and making the dog tired as hell. If the dog has a serious organic issue you will most likely need to medicate them as well.
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Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: Bill Wanke ]
#106754 - 05/17/2006 01:33 PM |
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Loving a dog is important BUT not unless it's a part of the whole equation for the dog. there needs to be communication, patience, understanding and leadership.
Becoming frustrated and talking about the issues is normal, but you have to go farther than that to help this dog out.
how many of you know parents who love their kids but offer no discipline, leadership or communication? This is a analogy that most people understand. Dogs WANT structure, and insecure dogs NEED structure or they can fall apart, especially rescue or shelter dogs.
If you want to make this work, start over with a new attitude towards what 'success' really means in this case... it may be tiny increments that seem imperceptible at first. There is a ton of good information on this website and many knowledgeable dog owners/trainers who have given you a variety of ideas. It's now your job to decide if you want to step up to the plate. If it seems too overwhelming then maybe the kindest thing to do for this dog is to rehome her.
Dogs live in the moment, not in the past so you can start over anytime you wish.
Small steps grasshopper... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: Robert VanCamp ]
#106755 - 05/17/2006 01:38 PM |
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I repeat my thanks to those who truly understood where I was coming from--my frustration, resentment, lack of direction and everything else about this exasperating canine condition.
*MOD EDIT*
Poster, check your PM's for an offical message! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
Will Rambeau
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Canine separation anxiety is a neurological distress response to: separation from the person to whom the dog is attached, high degree of uncertainty of an outcome, or the probability of punishment. In dogs with this condition, the level of anxiety is disproportionate to the inciting circumstances. Brain chemistry plays a significant role in the development and progression of separation anxiety. Dogs with separation anxiety are suffering and require effective behavioral management and medical intervention.
In the average U.S. veterinary practice, approximately 14% of canine patients exhibit one or more signs of separation anxiety. This behavioral disease is second only to aggression. These dogs are suffering and require effective behavioural management and medical intervention. The key to the diagnosis of separation anxiety is that the behaviour occurs only during the absence of the owner.
There are several steps that can help most dogs maintain a more relaxed, confident attitude to your life together. However, it is important to remember that separation anxiety varies from dog to dog and therefore, the effectiveness of treatment remedies can also vary due to age, duration of behaviours exhibited, owners willingness to adapt to modification treatments, etc. There are NO “quick fixes” in behaviour modification and separation anxiety cases.
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Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: Catherine Coy ]
#106756 - 05/17/2006 01:49 PM |
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As an FYI for *all* posters, direct personal insults will earn an offical warning to the poster.
If that type of behavior contines, the guilty parties may have their posting ability removed.
This applies to everone, so step softly here, I suggest.
Will Rambeau
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Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: Robert VanCamp ]
#106757 - 05/17/2006 02:28 PM |
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I have personal success dealing with a number of different dogs with seperation anxiety.
This is what you do.
1. Crate train your dog. There are countless articles on the internet to explain how this works, do a google search. Crate the dog at different times of day, but always when you leave the dog behind.
2. Exercise the dog. Every day you need to exercise the dog HARD. Not just a walk, but tire the dog out. Tired dogs don't have as much energy to be anxious.
3. Obedience train and socialize the dog. Take the dog out and socialize it and do obedience training. The work taxes the dog's mind and it will improve the dog's overall temperament in subtle ways.
If you do these three things, and do them well, you will be able to live with the dog. There are a number of other little training tips that can help in minute ways. Some have been mentioned here already. Desensitizing the dog to you leaving and arriving, etc, etc. Those things might help, they might not.
If the situation continues, your best bet is to medicate the dog.
In my experience you can deal with real seperation anxiety by controlling the environment and making the dog tired as hell. If the dog has a serious organic issue you will most likely need to medicate them as well.
This post states much more clearly that I was apparently able to do that 1. Yes, I have dealt with serious separation anxiety, and 2. The above were the major points in the successful program, which took a long time and required patience and, and Cindy says, appreciation for every tiny step.
Yes, it can be done. Good luck; I do know how hard it is, but I know too that my own confidence and attitude influenced the dog's no end.
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Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: Will Rambeau ]
#106758 - 05/17/2006 03:34 PM |
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With the PM's that I've gotten from the original poster I think that I'll close the thread until Ed deals with this.
ED's Comments edited into WIlls Post
Ms Coy will no longer be posting to my web board. The moderators have edited out her insulting comments. She was warned and chose to ignore the moderator warnings. She continued to insult people because she did not like their answers to her question.
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