I just started graduate school, I had my own place, and wanted my dream to come true. I wanted to get my first dog. I was a firm believer in rescuing an animal from a shelter, so I went to North Shore Animal League on LI and adopted a 17 week shepxaita mix with great ball drive. I named him Tiny because he was destined to become anything but Tiny. He had parvo when I adopted him, he almost died. The day after I took him home, I brought back to the hospital for emergency care. The vet said it didn’t look good. But he made it. When I got him back, I took him everywhere, into town, to the lake, camping, to my parents house, to Boston to visit friends, to the oceans of Long Island, to the Adirondacks. My friend who is a trainer taught me the basics of using a prong collar and how to teach the dog various commands. He was learning like a champ. In 2 short weeks, he eagerly was going to potty on command, sitting, down, heel, come. This dog loved to train, he loved to work.
Shortly after that, I don’t remember exactly when, he started showing aggressive tendancies. I thought deep down it was because I wasn’t being firm enough, or the alpha, and I’m sure to this day that was a big part of it. But I can’t discount his genetics, as I had missed early warning signs of food aggression, and I didn’t think much of his fearful responses to certain people, thunder, or other loud noises.
His aggression spiraled out of control when he was about 1 year old. I had to reduce the number of places I could take him, and I worked hard with a trainer to learn the proper ways to control an aggressive animal. I became an expert at dog aggression in about 1 year of working with trainers, aggressive dogs (including my own), reading, watching videos, reading and more reading. Soon, I could play with his food while he was eating, and even have him nose to nose with an unneutered male rottie while bouncing a tennis ball in front of him. His obedience was and is top notch. I don’t know how many hours I worked with him, apprenticed with 2 different dog trainers, starting training others dogs – all to find a magic potion to take the aggression out of this dog. I know the simple answer is that he is no longer aggressive to me because I am alpha, but what about others in our pack, what about when I’m not there or being super vigilant to keep my status in our pack (because 7 years later, he still challenges me for rank). I know what this dog is capable of. I have seen him almost kill my other dog by biting multiple holes into her skull, crushing one of her orbital bones, I have seen him chase down a child, attack myself and my then bf over food (and full body attacks, no nipping for this guy). Basically, when he wants to bite, he will break skin and do major damage every time. For some reason, he doesn’t know how to keep rank with out trying to kill. Its like all or none for Tiny.
I am now 8 months pregnant after a year-long battle with infertility treatments. I knew in my heart a long time ago that Tiny cannot live with children, and to be honest, there are very few people (I know none) probably that have the skills to handle a dominant aggressive dog so giving him up is not an option. I guess going through the infertility treatments gave me a lot of time to spend with him, but also to reflect on the fact that bringing a new life into our family meant the end of his. On the other hand, I also feel that because I have lived single for so long and have invested the time to learn how to safely keep an aggressive animal, I have given him a life he might otherwise not have had. So I am putting him down, my best friend, the one who taught me everything I know about dogs, aggression, dog training, loving unconditionally, and responsibility. He is responsible for my successful dog training business, because with out all of his problems, I would have never become motivated to learn how to train the right way, and enjoy helping others train. If I was confronted with a client with this exact issue, for me it would be a no-brainer, to put the dog down. How do I decide today is the day when he is not sick, when he hasn’t attacked me in over 4 years. How do I bring myself to take him to the vet, to hold his paw and to let him go? I keep thinking if he were ill, it would be easier, maybe that is silly to think that. He is not in pain, in fact he still plays with me like a pup, although he is now 8.
Sorry I am rambling, but I am really struggling with the how to do it. Has anyone out there made a similar decision based on temperament to put a dog down? Can anyone offer advice or their thoughts? From people uneducated about dogs (but not my family, although they aren’t dog savvy, they know what we have been through), I get a lot of slack for my decision, saying that I should be able to manage it, find him a new home, or get a better trainer to help us. I must say that these people have never lived with an aggressive animal like mine, seen the damage one can do in a split second, nor felt the constant stress of keeping alpha pack position to a rank aggressive dog every second of every day for 8 years. He is over 70 lbs + of pure muscle, and like I said, although his aggressive outbursts are very predictable at this point, he goes to a 10/10 with his response, no pussy-footing around with nips or warning growls. That is why he is so dangerous in my opinion. I just think there is something fundamentally wrong with a dog who will fight to the death for rank especially when there are lesser motions that can accomplish the same thing that I have seen of dogs that are sound in temperament. Actually writing this post has helped me rationalize that I am doing the right thing, it just gets hard when my emotions for him get in the way. So I am thinking the end of the month (just a couple of weeks before I am due).
Thank you all for your insights and support.
Michelle Reeve

Hi Michelle

I think you are making the correct decision. This is a very tough decision but you have to put the child first. This dog has had a wonderful, great life that he otherwise would not have had (most people would have give him up long ago or dumped him). This is the kindest thing you can do. You don't know what will happen if you re-home him, he could bite someone or harm a child and how would you feel then? You have given him a great life. I know this is going to be hard for you.

I lost my 18-year-old best friend (dog) last September and I have to say that I got great satisfaction from rescuing another dog in need. It helped me feel better when I lost one dog to be able to help another that would not otherwise have a chance.

I hope this helps and if you have any questions please contact me.

Regards, Angela

Hi Angela,
Thank you for your compassionate response. I agree, rehoming his is not responsible in my opinion. Its just hard to face up to it given that he isn't sick. I am grief stricken thinking about doing it, I break down and cry. How am I going to load him in the truck, drive him to the vet, wait in the waiting room, then take him in and let him go. It seems like I am going to have to be so strong at each step and I don't know if I have it in me. My husband also I think doens't have the strength to do this, but maybe together we will. I don't know. I know I will do it, I just dread the day. Just dread it. Plus, I have another dog at home, the one he almost killed. They are now full pack mates with the pecking order worked out, they haven't fought in 4 years. How will she deal? When will she know that he is gone for good? I'm worried about her too.
Thanks,
Michelle

See if your vet will come to your house and do it. Have your other dog present. My vet put my dog down in my living room. I honestly don't know if it would have been easier on me to take her to the vet's, or harder. Going in my living room was definitely not easy for the first few weeks.

I guess it depends on your situation. One thing I can say, is it is very peaceful. Everyone says that, but once it happens, you realise how true it is. The dog just relaxes.

Although... my dog had cancer for 2 years, and it was definitely time. I honestly can't say much more to you because your dog is healthy, and I don't know what that's like.

Another thing... like I said I don't know your situation but for some people it may help to get another dog straight away. it is supposed to help you deal with grief by giving you something to focus on. Personally, that wasn't the option for me, I needed a few months. I guess having a baby will help take your mind off things too - and it might be a relief to only have to worry about the one dog.

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See if your vet will come to your house and do it. Have your other dog present. My vet put my dog down in my living room. I honestly don't know if it would have been easier on me to take her to the vet's, or harder. Going in my living room was definitely not easy for the first few weeks......I guess it depends on your situation. One thing I can say, is it is very peaceful. Everyone says that, but once it happens, you realise how true it is. The dog just relaxes......

Yes, and it sounds as if your dog has no real peace now. It sounds as if he is living a life filled with sudden fears and rages and unpredictable reactions. No real peace.......

If the vet cannot come to you, I have found that bringing the dog's blanket helped me (although the dog probably didn't care) because I didn't have to leave him on a steel table.

The dog at home will need you to be a calm pack leader and to be assured that his/her place in the pack has not changed..... that the pack is stable. This is something that can help you maintain, I have found.

Regardless, it's hard. I believe that you will be ending a stressful and non-peaceful life, though. And you did everything you could to change that. Now this is the last thing you must do for the dog you love.

michelle, i really feel for you. just a year ago i had to put my 7 year old down because he could no longer walk. (he weighed 180 lbs.) he was otherwise healthy. see if the vet will come and do it in your back yard. my vet brought a stretcher and quilts and took care of everything and even gave me his ashes in a beautiful polished box.

if it helps, perhaps you could think of it this way. although your dog is healthy in body, he is not healthy in mind, and never has been. he is a dog that would have been put down years ago by 99.9 percent of the people out there, even experienced dog owners.

he got all those years beyond that point for free, and gave you a lot in the process.

but his mind is not sound, and he is a dangerous dog. if it helps, try to remind yourself of that whenever you need to. it's a heartbreaker, but there is no question you are doing what is right and responsible.

my heart goes out to you.

If your vet cannot come to your house, often they can set a time at the end of the day when the lobby is empty so there will be no conflicts. Alot of the vets I have run into will help as long as you let them know up front that he's dog agressive..etc. Also, you can go in earlier that day without him and get all the paperwork done, prepaid etc so when things are done you don't have to worry about it. this is a hard decision that alot of people disagree with, however I would feel better putting my dog to sleep than taking a chance of her attacking someone. Often, what is best is not what is easiest.

You've gotten plenty of compassionate advice, Michelle, even though it's hard to take:

Ask the Vet to come to your home for the euthanization.

If he won't provide that service, then ask a close relative or good friend to drive him to the Vet for you.

If that cannot be arranged, call in a county animal control officer & have them take the poor dog away.

Your pet is psychologically unsound (mentally ill) and is not leading a happy life -- He will do something unspeakable to your baby when you least expect it, unless you step up to the plate & do the right thing by this animal (which means having him put out of his misery in a fast, painless & humane manner) before it's too late, or you really will never forgive yourself.

Michelle, I've been where you are & done what you must -- It is NOT easy, but it IS love...

Michelle,

As do so many who post here, I understand what you are going through.

We were fortunate to have a very kind vet, who came to our house when it was time the last time. We gathered in the back yard, under a tree. The vet was very respectful.

I so hope you can get a vet to come to your home.

I've been sitting here looking at the screen. Words do not, normally, fail me.

From sorrow will come joy with the little one.

Mike A.

Hi Michelle,

I understand what you are going through. We put a dog down on June 22nd of this year. The dog attacked my Sister without warning when she came into the house. We had worked with her for 1 1/2 years but she still had fear issues and unpredictable behavior. Once we saw what she was capable of we knew we couldn't keep her under any circumstances and there was no place we could give her away to. The only option was to euthanize her that day before we changed our minds. It was one of the hardest things we have ever done. Unfortunately this was also our wedding day so our anniversary every year is going to be very sad. We still miss her very much and yet we know we had done everything for her and she just couldn't be helped. My suggestion is make an appointment either at the vet or at home and just do it as soon as you can. Congratulations on your baby. You are doing the right thing for his or her safety.

Jeanne