Help! My husband (Tom) just won his custody lawsuit and his daughter (Lucy) has moved in with us bringing her dog.

Lucy is 19 and is very mildly M.R.; she has mentality of a 12-yr old. Lucy has a dog, Patches, that is an 8-yr old female mix of Boston Terrior/Pug. First question she asked when she learned she was coming to live with us was could she bring her dog. Of course, we said yes. The move to our home is already difficult for Lucy and we want her to be as comfortable as possible.

Patches came to them as a puppy before Tom divorced Lucy's Mother 5 years ago so Patches is comfortable with Tom. Patches comes with a history though of being mean to others. I admit I was hesitant based on what I had heard but I've always owned dogs and been around them and thought we would get along...same with my 15-yr old son. I mean, who could not like me?

Wrong. Patches doesn't like me and my son at all. Patches, at Lucy's house with her Mother, was strictly inside with full access to all furniture and food. Patches barks constantly at me and my son. She growls at us, snaps at us,lunges at us. We make Lucy keep Patches in her bedroom and there is a kennel inside her bedroom that she goes into if Lucy has to leave her room. But the minute she comes out of the bedroom, the aggression is on. We won't even be looking at her, she even barks at us if we walk by the bedroom and the door is open. And, it's worse if she walks by you or you by her, this is when she lunges and tries to bite.

I know this move is also a big change for Patches, she wasn't socialized at all in her old home...just like Lucy. When they first moved in and Patches would bark at us, Lucy would say "hush." Of course that did nothing. I told my husband that they need to more firm with Patches or nothing would change.

I hate hate hate being barked at inside my own home and detest the fact that I have to tiptoe around this dog. The other night Lucy wasn't here, so my husband brought her out as we thought it would be a good time to try and bond without Lucy here. She at first let us pet her but she was very hesitant and then after about 5 minutes, she started trying to bite us! Back in her kennel she went.

We have a 1-yr old male GSD that is a real gentleman. We tried to introduce them but Patches attacked him. He backed up and looked at her like "What the heck?" He didn't retaliate thankfully.

I don't know what to do....my husband says Patches needs more time to get accustomed to the move and bond with me and my son. But, after 1 week I don't see any improvement.....and yet, I understand how devasted Lucy would be if we sent Patches back to her Mother's house.

How much time is needed and can she really change since she is 8 yrs old?

Sounds like the X wife had a few words with patches.. .
Ok on a real note,8 years old or not she can change her behavior.I can't understand why you should have to tip toe around this dog.It sounds to me as if she's never been put in her place and therefore thinks she is running things, your pack.My advise is to put her in a crate,where you all hang out the most.Not secluded in a room.Let her see everyone that belongs in your home.The more you put her away and secluded the less she learns to deal with all the changes.You can give her a spot in the corner but allow her to see everyone and everything that goes around her.You are going to have to step up and let this dog know that she is not your pack leader, put her on a leash make her follow you and when she tries to bite someone(your son) passing by ,give her a good correction on the leash.
Be firm, consistent.I know she's 8 but she can't behave like that anymore.
http://s141.photobucket.com/albums/r77/cadogancna/

My best advice to you is to put a leash and collar on this dog and take him out for a walk. Walk him until he is tired and lagging behind. Have your son walk him too. On the walk, ignore him. If he pulls, keep walking, ignoring him. Start there. Do this everyday for 20-30 minutes per day, you will see a change I'm sure. This practice will help reverse the roles.
Good luck to you all.
Michelle

I agree with both posts. I would emphasize that the one and only thing that will fix this for you is to BECOME THE PACK LEADER over this dog. This little bad-ass dog is the boss of you right now!

Do NOT do anything the dog wants. Do not let the dog avoid doing something you want it to do. YOU make the rules. She FOLLOWS them. No exceptions, not ever.

Keep a drag line on the dog in the house (Leerburgs sells them) so you have quick access to corrections. Don't be a sissy with the corrections, either. Make sure he realizes he's been corrected...don't just jiggle the leash.

The most important part, IMO, is your body language and movements. You need to be able to act like a alpha dog! (If you're concerned about being bitten, you could put something between the two of you like a tennis racket or whatever.)

Ever watch the Dog Whisperer? He would be a visual example of what I'm talking about. Slowly, confidently, (don't forget confident posture) approach the dog that's barking at you as you pass the door. Force the dog to back out of that room and to allow you to be there. Do this everytime, every challenge he extends, you should win. You'll be surprised how this will cause the dog to respect you.

Read articles on Ed's site, especially on How to be a Pack Leader.

You go through doors first. Take him for walks but do NOT let him walk in front of you. Do not let the dog sleep on beds. Do not feed the dog from the table.

This isn't something the dog will grow out of if you don't change it for him. But he will change really, really rapidly if you do this right.

If you're new at this, remember: None of this is cruel. This is how dog's communicate. Your dog doesn't hate you personally. Your dog is being alpha and territorial and wants you gone. So, unless you plan on leaving, you have to "invade" her territory and become the new alpha. Think of any nature show...this is just how it's done.
Good luck!

I really appreciate you guys taking the time to reply....you have all given great suggestions and we will all discuss these things and how to handle this. It's a crazy time for all of us and we just want everyone to be comfortable, but you all reaffirmed and enforced in my mind, that more firm actions need to be taken.

Thank you!

Kerry,
I think it's great that you are trying to make things peaceful and work out for your step daughter and her pet in your home, I wish you lots of luck and keep positive things will come together and work just fine.
Angelique

Kerry, can we get an update on the progress with Patches? :-D

Luck!
-Jim