I read a book once called The Art of Racing in the Rain. The opening of the book is the dog owner coming home to find the elderly dog laying in a pool of his own urine unable to get up. The owner thentells the dog that it's OK to go.. I was bawling like a little girl in the middle of Borders reading that...

We never want to let our dog get to that point. We hope that we are able to make the call to end their suffering when we need to... but we second guess ourselves, we make excuses, we just can't do it.. so we wait. Sometimes we wait too long, and while we beat ourseleves up over it, our dogs forgive us. They know it's hard for us to let them go....

My benchmark, is the tail wag. If my dog is no longer willing to wag her tail, she is no longer loving her life, and it's time to let her go.. it's a hard choice, one of the most difficult I have ever had to make in my life. It never gets easier, but sometimes a dog comes along that takes a little bit more of your heart when they leave...

No matter what happens, whether you make the decision, or she makes it for you, there will be guilt. The What Ifs- don't let them get you down. You gave this dog the best life possible, you loved her, she loved you. That's what matters in the end.

A close friend gave me this poem once, and I found it comforting. I hope it does the same for you.

FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND
In Memory of Asta, Feb. 1997
(c) Karen Clouston


You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.

But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.

So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.

The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.

That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.

Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.

So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.

Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.

I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young dog once again.

--Kel

I read (and loved) that book too, Kelly (The Art of Racing in the Rain).

And back to the thread ...... some profound thoughts here.

I want to say ditto to the comment that most of us probably know (or are) someone who has waited too long and regrets it, but I don't know anyone who wished they had waited longer. IMHO, it's a blessed gift to help ease the beloved companion on down the road.

None of this means it's easy ..... it's heart-rending.

 Quote: Kelly

I read a book once called The Art of Racing in the Rain. The opening of the book is the dog owner coming home to find the elderly dog laying in a pool of his own urine unable to get up. The owner thentells the dog that it's OK to go.. I was bawling like a little girl in the middle of Borders reading that...

We never want to let our dog get to that point. We hope that we are able to make the call to end their suffering when we need to... but we second guess ourselves, we make excuses, we just can't do it.. so we wait. Sometimes we wait too long, and while we beat ourseleves up over it, our dogs forgive us. They know it's hard for us to let them go....

My benchmark, is the tail wag. If my dog is no longer willing to wag her tail, she is no longer loving her life, and it's time to let her go.. it's a hard choice, one of the most difficult I have ever had to make in my life. It never gets easier, but sometimes a dog comes along that takes a little bit more of your heart when they leave...

No matter what happens, whether you make the decision, or she makes it for you, there will be guilt. The What Ifs- don't let them get you down. You gave this dog the best life possible, you loved her, she loved you. That's what matters in the end.

A close friend gave me this poem once, and I found it comforting. I hope it does the same for you.

FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND
In Memory of Asta, Feb. 1997
(c) Karen Clouston


You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.

But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.

So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.

The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.

That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.

Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.

So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.

Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.

I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young dog once again.

--Kel

And here I am bawling like a baby at the Reception desk

What a Poem !!! We ALL could have written it, if only we had the talent, that's for sure -- I believe one of the Greatest Gifts our pets give us is learning that love and Sacrifice & Suffering and LOSS are Simply Inseparable ... THANK you, Kelly.

Thank you all for your support and suggestions. Candi's benchmark of the tail wag is something I have considered and what makes it a tough call for me. When the dog is engaged with the younger dog or when she feels she must do her job of protecting the property, the tail is wagging and her drive shows. She no longer rises for the UPS man, rather choosing to remain down and stationary while she barks. If it is a stranger who arrives at our gate, she is at attention and wanting to investigate and protect. Although she no longer randomly harasses the horses, she comes running to the barn when she hears us opening the gates.

I could go on with endless examples of varying snapshots. At one moment she appears crippled to the point of immobility. At another moment she appears full of gusto despite her disability. I am convinced her mind is still sharp, which weighs heavy on my decision.

That "tail wag bench-mark" is actually from Kelly, not from me.

Prayers for you, Eric...

Today was the day. I'm still not convinced it was time, but if not today it would have been in a week or maybe a month. I guess...

I watched her this morning as she struggled to rise and come to her food bowl. As she ate she put her weight on her two front legs. She wouldn't even let her right rear foot touch the ground. Watching her as she went to the bathroom, she would not fully squat.

Arrangements were made with the vet. I lifted her into the truck, and that actually gave me pause. At that moment she must have thought we were headed somewhere to train/work as was the case in her prime. She became visibly excited and active. It broke my heart to know where I was taking her. I lifted her out of the truck and she was at attention ready to do anything asked of her. After a moment of alert attention, she went back to keeping her right rear paw off of the ground. She quickly gingerly lowered herself to the better of the two hips. She rose to attention as the tech approached. We said our goodbyes, and that was that.

At this moment I am torn between wanting to fill the void she has left and being soured on being a dog owner due to the emotion of today's events combined with feeling cheated from the short lifespans of my Rottweiler who died prematurely from MMM and from the seizure disorder of the GSD my son took to college with him.

 Quote: Eric Eschmann

Today was the day. I'm still not convinced it was time, but if not today it would have been in a week or maybe a month. I guess...

I watched her this morning as she struggled to rise and come to her food bowl. As she ate she put her weight on her two front legs. She wouldn't even let her right rear foot touch the ground. Watching her as she went to the bathroom, she would not fully squat.

Arrangements were made with the vet. I lifted her into the truck, and that actually gave me pause. At that moment she must have thought we were headed somewhere to train/work as was the case in her prime. She became visibly excited and active. It broke my heart to know where I was taking her. I lifted her out of the truck and she was at attention ready to do anything asked of her. After a moment of alert attention, she went back to keeping her right rear paw off of the ground. She quickly gingerly lowered herself to the better of the two hips. She rose to attention as the tech approached. We said our goodbyes, and that was that.

At this moment I am torn between wanting to fill the void she has left and being soured on being a dog owner due to the emotion of today's events combined with feeling cheated from the short lifespans of my Rottweiler who died prematurely from MMM and from the seizure disorder of the GSD my son took to college with him.

Please don't EVER second guess the timing. You saved her from pain and misery and you let her go with dignity. Please know that you did what caused you pain while it saved her from pain.

You did something incredibly loving and self-sacrificing.

My heart is with you. I lost a pack member on Mother's Day, and I am 100% with you. Let yourself feel the good memories.

Eric, after many years of experience, Ed Frawley concluded that if the dog cannot eat, potty, and sleep in comfort, then it's time for him to consider for whom he is keeping the dog alive.

You made a good choice, against your own desires but for the good of the beloved dog.

I'm so sorry Eric, a sad day for you. What was your girl's name? Perhaps my Thor can find her at the bridge.
She sounds like a heart dog one that takes a larger piece of you with them. Sometimes we forget, they are our heart dog for a reason and it is usually because we are their heart partner. Anyone who has owned dogs understands that subtlety of relationship; it is just different (deeper) than the love we share with our other pups.
In her eyes whatever decision you made was right; she knew and had 100% faith in you to do right by her. And she was right to think so, because you did.
Take some time to mourn her. When fond memories make you smile and not cry, you can rethink if sharing your life with another dog is right for you. My thoughts are with you.

so sorry Eric.

I've owned probably 20 dogs in my life time. Rarely less then 2-3 at a time and 4 on a number of occasions.

Don't ever let these losses sour you on having a dog.

Each and every one has a special place. Some WILL be that special dog. I've bee fortunate to have had 3 of what I consider once in a life time dogs.
One of my present GSDs is at the top of that list but it only takes on times to hold onto one to long.

It's all the fun and great memories that keep a dog in our hearts long after they are taken from us.

Those great memories will last far longer then the sadness your now going through.