Alice, It's a tough call. Do you go with your head or your heart? I think both. For my own human medical issues, if I don't feel like I have some sort of decent rapport with the doctor, I go somewhere else. I have been really lucky not to have run into a situation such as you are describing with a vet, but I think I would choose to go elsewhere, providing I found a good specialist, regardless of the length of the drive. The thing is, it seems like they are acting rather snotty. Maybe they aren't used to someone asking inteligent questions, maybe that is intimidating to the staff, either way, if they have developed an unfair dislike for you, how are they going to treat your dog? So, if you do go with them, first I'd clear the air with them!

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..... i discovered there was a message on my answering machine from the vet's office that they would not be sending me an email explanation of the charges, and confirming the higher charge.......
basically, they have said they will not answer my question or break down the charges for me. basically, i feel like they have just said "f-- you" to me. they will do what they want their way and i will take it and like it or go somewhere else..

Was this message from an office manager or receptionist?

Do you have an email or fax for the vet?

I would politely put in writing that "I received a message that I must have misinterpreted. It sounded as if someone was saying that they were refusing a breakdown of the charges for my dog's surgery. I'm sure I misunderstood, so may I please have the message (or the breakdown) in writing instead? I can stop by and pick it up to make it convenient for you."

If that nets an insufficient reply, I would be planning on the 16-hour drive and then I would be emailing and faxing every possible person or org involved: the board in your state, the referring vet, and everyone else I could think of. Document this, with notes, times, names of person(s) spoken to, and everything else. Keep a calm and detached demeanor and make sure you are viewed by all concerned as a non-hysterical owner (knowing how some professions do circle the wagons......). JMO.

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if they have developed an unfair dislike for you, how are they going to treat your dog?

that is exactly my fear.

but how do i clear the air? go in for the procedure but then walk out if i don't like the "tone" of the situation?

my gut is telling me to make the 8 hour drive to the other vet. but that will be hard on the dog. he's not supposed to be getting in and out of the car after this surgery. and what if there are complications while he is in the car and we are in a remote area, far from help?

I guess the only way to clear the air would be to ask them point blank if you have somehow offended them. If your gut is telling you to make the 8 hour drive, then you should probably go with your gut. As far as possible complications on the drive home, maybe you would want the vet with 24 hr care to keep him an extra day, or you could maybe find a cheap motel that will allow dogs near the vet & stay there the day & night following the surgery?

I just read Connies' last post & think her way would be a good way to clear the air.

susan and connie, thanks for your brilliant advice.

susan, we had already planned to stay over with the dog in a motel. there is a 24 hour emergency clinic there with an excellent staff. my worry was more if something happened after we left. the entire route home is very isolated. as in, no radio stations on the dial!

connie, i do have a way to email the clinic, and i listened to the phone message again. she didn't explicitly say they were refusing the breakdown, but i felt it was the subtext. she acted like i was just asking for confirmation of the estimate. so i wrote to her via email and asked for the breakdown, and what accounted for the discrepancy in the initial estimate and the current one. and i asked very, very nicely. <img src="http://www.leerburg.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

i'm not sure what you are suggesting by documenting and contacting the referring vets. are you saying that not providing a breakdown is some sort of violation of a professional code of ethics?

and yes, my big handicap is that i do research for a living, and when my loved one's life is on the line, you better believe i research the heck out of the procedure. i probably freaked out the vet by asking him which type of gastropexy he did and how far the tacks are from the pylorus. i guess that was pretty dumb of me <img src="http://www.leerburg.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />.

however, none of the other vets i interviewed for the job had the least problem with my asking such specific questions. just this guy. go figure. really, if it wasn't for the universal glowing reviews of his performance, i wouldn't even be having this conversation right now.

maybe i'll get into his office, we'll lay eyes on each other, and everything will be fine. maybe i came across in an offensive way this one time without realizing it.

i really do hope this all somehow works out.

Just to bring another side to this, some docs/vets are incredible in their field but have the bedside manner of a pissed off rhino. If the vet is heavily referenced there must be good reason for it. However I would also be uncomfortable leaving any animal overnight after a major procedure without any supervision, or even a midnight drop-by.

Have you tried talking to ALL staff at the clinic? You may run into one who is very helpful.

i don't have any control over who i get to talk to there. nor do i have the option of making any special requests.

the only person i have actually talked to is the vet's tech. he and i did not hit it off over the phone. i found him very patronizing, and i'm sure he didn't like it that i wouldn't let him dismiss my questions. my contacts with the vet have been through email only, but his attitude is quite evident to those who have read what he wrote.

the two people i trust most in the world with my dog--his vet and his breeder--say he will be fine if he is left overnight without anyone in the clinic.

i know, i know, i would ordinarily not even consider it. but they have told me that because he is young and healthy, it should not be an issue. and if there were any signs of a problem, he would not be left alone.

if it were not for their acceptance of this protocol, there is no way i would be going to this clinic.

Would it be possible to make a consulting appointment (be prepared to pay) and "lay eyes" on this guy in advance and maybe build a rapport face to face, explaining your fears and that your work in research compels you to be as informed as possible. This vet is obviously the PACK LEADER and we all know what the subordinates are supposed to do...

A face to face meeting could clear up doubts about which way to go. He might just be an all right guy with a pissy staff and wannabe techs. If not, you'll know what to do. I would want to see the hands that are going to cut my dog.

To be totally honest, if my vet told me I could not get a complete breakdown of all the charges for my dog's procedure, I'd be gone. Adios. Goodnight.

Sorry, but I want to know -every penny- of what I'm going to spend and why I'm spending it. And to be honest, if the techs are that rude to you over the phone, I can't imagine what they're like in person. If you're going to be paying a big chunk of change for a serious procedure you should be treated with respect.

Honestly, I'd take the drive. You deserve to be treated like a human being and you deserve to have peace of mind. If you decide to go through with the place closer to you, I like Ruth's idea of meeting him in person first.

ruth, good idea. it looks like if i want to even consider going to this guy, that is my only option, anyway. there is a pre-surgery consultation in which all my questions are answered and the dog is physically examined. so, there is no guarantee from their side either that the surgery gets done, doesn't matter that i've disrupted my work schedule and driven two hours to get there.

i called the office again this morning. again i did not like the "tone" of the conversation. she would not clarify the charges. she did say if the vet said he'd be looked in on every 1-2 hours, then he would. she said all my questions would be answered during the consultation prior to surgery, including the charges, that that is how they do things. she would not schedule a paid telephone consultation for me. he needs to lay hands on the dog, she said.

i had asked for a paid phone consultation with him three weeks ago, and one was never scheduled.

logic dictates that i go to the highly recommended vet that has lots of experience and is closest to me. but my gut is .....i just do not like how they have treated me.

OK. news update. it turns out that one of our fine forum members here has used the closer vet and recommends him. he does answer questions, he loves animals, and i've been assured that my dog will get the best care even if they don't like me. and that the initial in-person consultation will answer all of my questions.

so, i'm going to go in for the consultation, and if all is good, i'll go ahead with the surgery. and if i don't like what i'm hearing/seeing/feeling, or i'm not sure, i'll cancel it or ask to reschedule after i've had some time to think it over. and i'll turn around and go home.

thanks so much to this board. you all are great.