My beautiful Crazy Dazy died last October 13th-my decision. She was a personal protection dobe and also acted as a therapy dog at the VA Nursing Home where my husband is dying.
Shortly after her 5th birthday, she got a limp. Within 4 days, we had amputated her leg, but not before a huge, ugly tumor had appeared. Bone biopsies are horribly painful-don't let anyone release your dog with only morphine patch that will kick in within 12 hours. Dazy seemed fine in front of the other people, but was in a fully distended jaw scream for the whole hour it took to drive home. My youngest dog's teeth started chattering, and they chattered through a shoulder seat belt and I don't even think she knew it was in her mouth. The cancer (osteo-sarcoma - of the long bone) seemed isolated, and the bone scan was otherwise clean. Everyone was optimistic that 1-2 years of painfree living was a good shot.
Enter the Twilight Zone - Dazy was a muscular, long-legged dobe and had problems with only 3 legs. She wouldn't use a pet ramp to get in the truck, and we prayed each time that I (105 pounds)could get her (60 pounds down from 80 pounds) body
into the truck. She fell down the hill one day, and I dove between her and a tree - my thumb and hand are still badly damaged 9 months later.
Poor Dazy tried so hard, and everything went wrong. She developed a megasophagus, and had to be hand-fed 5 times a day with her head tilted up. At least she got more interesting food than her dry kibble. With all that she was going through, she still maintained her body posture and alertness to approaching men, and we were approached one night by two men when we were helping a friend with a stopped car (we're semi-rural). Again I had her to thank for not letting a potentially bad situation escalate-but this time she had my older shephard with her for additional support.
I kept thinking as long as we were able to "fix" everything that came up, and she was able to perk up afterwards, we would keep trying. It became too hard for her to go to the VA after awhile - she slipped on their hard vinyl floor, and that was another emergency trip.
3 months and 2 days after the first limp, I called my wonderful vet to come over. She knew about my husband's condition, and since she had just seen Dazy 3 days before, she questioned my judgement. I had to tell her I was a day late, so she had to come that afternoon. In the morning, I had someone take pictures of Dazy and me, and she got to drink all the Sobe drink she wanted - previously, that was a no-no. It was sunny and warm - just like she liked it.
Linda arrived, took one look at Dazy, and said I was right - but what had happened and how had I been so sure? I told her I had stayed up with Dazy for two nights, crying, and I knew. She gave Dazy a tranq shot, and Dazy went over and stood with her back to me and faced our 6 foot wooden fence. It was like she didn't want to leave me. Then she came over to where I was sitting on the ground and curled up in my lap and took the shot. In retrospect, that the first peaceful moment she had had in 3 months and 1 day.
She's at Rainbows Bridge (website), and I wanted to share the poem I wrote. I've had 15 dogs, but this poem is just for her.
Good-bye to Crazy Dazy
Five years is too short by any measure,
For anyone to lose such a treasure.
And although I cried,
I knew inside,
This was best for you,
And so, for me, too.
October 13th, I laid you down to sleep.
I prayed the Lord your soul to keep,
And your pain to leave, so you could play
Until we're reunited one day.
All my dogs have a piece of my heart,
And it was always hard to part.
But Dazy, My Forever Dog, you have more.
You captured my heart, but also found the door -
To my soul.
Is that why I think I hear you some days;
And feel you lay your head on my legs?
Once spirits unite, they never part -
You are the soul of my soul
And the heart of my heart.
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