I made the appt. today to have my 16 year old Shiatzu put to sleep this Friday 4/7 - still not sure if this is the right thing or not. It's my first dog, first real pet who I love with all my heart, he's like my own child. He's 16, old, can't really see or hear nor can walk too long without falling over. He bumps into everything and has no clue where he is or what is going on. He's in kidney failure, but he eats a little, barks a little and drinks water and doesn't seem to be in pain but has no means of life anymore. He has to be restricted to keep him in one area since he can't hold his bladder or bowels, he can't walk up or down stairs and has to be carried everywhere he goes. He doesn't like being outside or being away from his favorite pillow which he sleeps on most of the day and night. Doesn't want to be held or loved because I think it's too uncomfortable for him. How do you really know if this is right? One part says keep him comfortable and let time take it's course and one part says how can he continue to live this way...or how can we continue to watch him live this way...I am so scared he will think we gave up on him and I am scared to even have to go through with this...any thoughts?

Only those who have loved a dog can understand how difficult this week will be. No one can tell you when it's time. I dedicated a web page to emails from people like yourself. You may find comfort from what others have to say.

click here to go to the page

It is such a hard decision. I am sure you will make the correct one.

Dear Karen:

This is meant in the kindest of ways, but from the sounds of it, I think the time has come. You will be able to see your dog off in safe, humane conditions, surrounded by those he loved and who loved him. I lost my healthy, six year old dog recently in a freak accident and I am plagued with doubts as to whether or not I should have or could have done anything different. I miss him every day. Perhaps you may find some consolation in the fact that you had so long together, and your last act was a merciful and dignified goodbye.

You have my deepest sympathy.

Dear Karen,

I've been in your position too many times now.
Only you know what's right, unfortunatly when you bring a puppy home you assume a lot of responsibliity.
It's a difficult read but the poem 'If It Should Be' helped me make some sense if it all, here is a link, I hope it helps. http://www.superdog.com/petloss-poems.html

My thoughts are with you

John Thomson

You are right, we had 16 joyous fun-filled loving years with him and two years ago when he was deathly ill and didn't eat and lost lots of weight, we scheduled to have him put down and I was so confident then because of how sick he was and then out of no where he bounced back, ate everything he could, ran, barked, looked great and we feel we have been blessed to have almost another 2 years with him. He has fought long and hard to stick around and has been so dedicated to us. He has brought us joy that no one would understand unless they've had their own experience with a pet they've loved and adored. Just the thought of walking in that Vet Friday destoys my heart but I have to be with him so he knows his Mommy his there with him and talk to him and remind him of how much we love him and always will. I look at him and wonder what he thinks, if he'll know when we put him in the car on friday and how when he comes back home it will be to be buried and how I don't want to let him go. I guess it's all about "letting go" and healing. I also have two young boys (12 and 8) who have cried for days over this and it's hard to see them in this state as well. Thanks to all that is reading this and giving me hope that we are doing the right thing. Please pray for us. Thank you.

Karen,
I will be keeping you and your dog in my thoughts. It is such a hard decision. I know with my old girl I just looked into her eyes to see if she was ready to go or not. It is not objective, but I think it is the best way to come to a decision and feel peaceful about it. Your dog will tell you. Again, I will be thinking of y'all.

Wow John, that was a powerful poem and one I will print and keep beside me but I will always cry for him and my heart will always cry for him...as my son said to me last night..."Mom, I just want him back the way he use to be"...if only we could have that back but we have been blessed to have had so many years, so many memories, so many wonderful times together...no matter what was going on this little guy, stuck by me, laid with me, sat at my feet and licked my face when I cried through the years. Now he doesn't recognize me except for my voice but just stares out in no where land. I can't stand to see him this way any longer and no matter, it's his time and we love him enough to do this for him except it hurts so much, so so much.

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Wow John, that was a powerful poem and one I will print and keep beside me but I will always cry for him and my heart will always cry for him...as my son said to me last night..."Mom, I just want him back the way he use to be"...if only we could have that back but we have been blessed to have had so many years, so many memories, so many wonderful times together...no matter what was going on this little guy, stuck by me, laid with me, sat at my feet and licked my face when I cried through the years. Now he doesn't recognize me except for my voice but just stares out in no where land. I can't stand to see him this way any longer and no matter, it's his time and we love him enough to do this for him except it hurts so much, so so much.

It hurts you, yes, incredibly much. But it doesn't hurt your beloved friend; it releases him.

I always remember how blessed we are that we have this gift to give. I wish we could ask for it for ourselves: the painless end with the dearest friend beside us.

You will never (ever) forget him, but you will start to release the memory of the sad end, and fill your mind with memories of the great joy your brought each other. You have to go through the grief, but there are never-ending memories -- wonderful ones -- on the other side of the grief.

My vet told me (after cancelling the appointment to have my 15 year old dog down about 5 times) that when their quality of life has changed drastically...then its' time to let them go.
Unfortunately they can't tell you when their time is.

Tazz couldn't go out for walks anymore, his arthritis had progressed far enough where walking any distance put him in too much pain, he couldn't go up and down the stairs without help (he was a big guy, around 80lbs), he spent most of his time in the kitchen where before he used to never leave my side. He just didn't seem happy anymore.

Although it is one of the hardest decisions to make, because you may feel like your letting him down, and the guilt is trememdous....it sounds like it would be the best thing for him.

As hard as it will be for you, you have to think about whats best for him right now.