Serious Separation Anxiety
#106699 - 05/16/2006 02:21 PM |
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My Wheaten terrier, a shelter adoption, has serious separation anxiety that is negatively affecting my life. I read all the threads on this discussion board and others, as well as exhaustive Internet research, about this very complicated problem.
I'd like to know if there's anyone in this 1,000+ group of dog lovers who has personally and successfully dealt with this agonizing syndrome. Many people have recommended that I consult with this or that animal behaviorist. After spending too much money to hear someone pontificate on what to do (several different theories!), I'd like to communicate with someone who has actually helped his/her dog overcome separation anxiety. I'm all through spending money on theory.
Many thanks.
Catherine Coy
Long Beach, CA
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Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: Catherine Coy ]
#106700 - 05/16/2006 02:58 PM |
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Catherine, what have you tried? How long have you had the dog? How old is the dog? What happens when you crate the dog when you go out?
Sue
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Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: susan tuck ]
#106701 - 05/16/2006 03:10 PM |
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For starters, try 1 of your dirty socks or tshirts-familiar security blanket for the dog. Work up in extending your absence-go outside 15/30/60 minutes etcetera on weekends on evenings to get em used to you leaving.
Be calm and soothing voice in leaving and in returning. Also, a bone helps, toys, peanut butter in a kong.
Also remeber, a tired dog is a good dog. Wear em the hell out, will work wonders as well. good luck.
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Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: Bill Wanke ]
#106702 - 05/16/2006 03:19 PM |
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oh yes, Catherine, Bill is right, wear that puppy out! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Excercize is the best cure.
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Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: Bill Wanke ]
#106703 - 05/16/2006 03:21 PM |
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When my Granddaughter went on vacation for a few weeks our GSD female that was raised from puppyhood with her,quit eating, moped around, just wouldn't do anything <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> We finally gave her one of my Granddaughter's blankets and a toy and that solved most of the problem <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> The dog would lay on the blanket and play with the toy all day <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
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Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: Beth Sparks ]
#106704 - 05/16/2006 04:02 PM |
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Our dog has that - we gave up kennels when we are on vacation. Instead we hire one of our kids older friends to house sit. He/She allready knows the pets (and they know them), the place is familar (home, not a kennel). While not perfect, it is better.
David Carlson
Cats, Dogs, Ferrets and Fish
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Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: David Carlson ]
#106705 - 05/16/2006 07:53 PM |
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Thanks to everyone for your thoughtful replies. If you don't mind discussing it further, please let me tell you where I'M coming from, because separation anxiety involves not only my dog's response but mine as well.
On Sunday, I wanted to go with my son on our annual Mother's Day outing. I couldn't find a sitter. I had forgotten that I needed one until it became critical to find one (bad planning on my part). I found myself growing more resentful of "Sandy" as the hours ticked by. I finally found someone, for which I was grateful, but a sitter added fifty bucks to the expense of the day's outing--an expense that I'm unable to incur regularly just to accommodate Sandy's psychosis. Now, having said that, I feel guilty for saying it, as if I should be willing to modify my whole lifestyle just to keep her company.
I've had Sandy for 8 weeks. The day after she came to my home from the shelter, she had a serious medical issue (parvo? kennel cough? distemper?--who knows) that took three weeks of intensive care to bring her back to health. Then it was determined--by the ulcer in her eye--that she had entropion, which required plastic surgery to correct, to the tune of $1,600.
Now, apparently, she needs psychological support from an animal behaviorist?! It's all just too much.
I asked for PERSONAL success stories because, while she's absolutely adorable in every way WHILE I'M WITH HER, I'm also at the end of my rope from (1) being stalked from room to room by a dog; (2) taking her everywhere rather than confront destruction when I return; and (3) the expense of helping her added to her already HUGE vet bill.
Get this...an animal behaviorist came to my home and said, "One thing you can do is buy a vest ($40) that says 'therapy dog in training.' That way, you can take her everywhere--even fine restaurants--and no one can throw you out." I said, "I'm trying to figure out a way NOT to have to take her with me everywhere!"
Thirty years ago, I had a Scottish terrier with much the same problem. But I worked all day and thought that the dog tearing up my house was merely the result of being alone TOO LONG. So I gave her to a family with a stay-at-home mom, two kids and a back yard. When I visited the dog a month later, the crazed look in her eyes was gone and she was the picture of contentment.
Do you think rehoming Sandy is a viable solution? I'd have to tell the new family what they may be in for--a disclosure that was not made to me--whereas with my Scottie, I didn't know any better and, apparently, the dog's new family didn't suffer the effects of separation anxiety.
Sandy's lower front teeth are missing and she has a split in her tongue. The animal behaviorist speculates that she was put in a crate and damaged her mouth trying to get out. Knowing how Sandy responds to being left alone, the animal behaviorist is probably right, so I'm reluctant to try crate training.
If you could see her laying at my feet right now, you'd never know the extent to which a full blown panic attack overcomes her precious body when I'm gone. It's tragic.
Catherine
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Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: Catherine Coy ]
#106706 - 05/16/2006 08:22 PM |
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QUOTE:I 'd like to know if there's anyone in this 1,000+ group of dog lovers who has personally and successfully dealt with this agonizing syndrome. END QUOTE
Yes. http://www.leerburg.com/ubbthreads/showf...rue#Post4167286
Your own anxiety and resentment will contribute hugely to the dog's anxiety. This isn't just theory; I've seen it over and over. I'm sure many here have.
The URL above might give you practical ideas (it's full of them), but it sounds as if you might not be ready or willing to make a commitment like this. (Of course, a printed message doen't convey a lot of "flavor," and I certainly could be wrong.)
The crate, though -- I think all dogs need one. You mention hesitating --- I wouldn't hesitate on that. JMO.
Good luck. I hope that thread helps.
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Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: Connie Sutherland ]
#106707 - 05/16/2006 08:41 PM |
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Thanks, Connie. Interesting comment, because the animal behaviorist practically made me vow I wouldn't crate her. "Crating will destroy her."
Yes, I'm resentful. I'm a prisoner in my own home, yet I'm very affectionate to Sandy, take her for two walks per day, play with her in the back yard, feed her yummy raw food meals and keep her groomed real cute. Unless she's reading my mind, I think she's quite content WHEN I'M WITH HER.
My ambivalence about behavior modification comes from the prospect of spending hours and hours trying to re-wire her brain, only to ultimately fail to help her (as did two people who wrote to me privately). That's why I asked for responses based on personal experience. Do you have any?
There is one other element. I'm moving soon to my dream home. I shudder to think what will happen to Sandy if she destroys anything in my beautiful new home. I have already replaced two doors in my current home. The new doors in my new home...well, what would YOU do--hire an around the clock security guard to patrol Sandy's behavior?
Catherine
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Re: Serious Separation Anxiety
[Re: Catherine Coy ]
#106708 - 05/16/2006 08:45 PM |
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Just a thought... how do you leave the house? Do you pet her and say goodbye and make a big deal? Or do you ignore her completely (even if she's in front of you) and just leave? How do you return? Do you also make a big deal, greeting her with a high pitched voice and petting her or do you just walk in the door, put down your things, wash your hands and flip on the tube? Many times, if you act super confident and sure of yourself that coming and going is the most natural thing in the world the dog settles down. When I was watching my man's family's beagle, I did just that and after a couple days of not giving him the time of day when coming/going he wouldn't leave the couch at either time. When the family walks in the door (they always make a big deal of coming and going, sigh), OMG the dog goes BALLISTIC. You can also pick a day and just go out the door, in the door, sometimes being gone for a few seconds, sometimes several minutes, and the next day increase the times you are gone. If you completely ignore the dog during this time, the dog learns that it's perfectly natural to be left behind and that you always come back.
Just checked out Connie's thread... I think I pretty much repeated what she's posted. So yeah, what she said! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
Pick up the book "The Dog Listener." Good advice in there, though it shouldn't be your only reference point. It has a lot of great information on shaping a stable dog. Have you read Ed's article on groundwork? If you become a clear, confident, firm yet fair leader in your dog's eyes, she will be less apt to freak out. She may not see you as a good leader or even a leader at all and thus flip out because she's either unsure or worried that "her subordinates" have left without her.
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