I wasn't going to post this, because most of me realizes that this is a non-issue. But it has been nagging at me so I thought I'd bow to your collective wisdom on this:

Recently I went on vacation and left my 5 month old GSD pup with a friend. When I got home, I noticed that his obedience is still fantastic...with a few exceptions.

The first day I spent with him when i got back revealed that his recall was terrible when before it was excellent. Also, when I left he knew to stay out of the garbage and that first day back, he was getting into it like I wasn't even there! There were other similar things as well.

My take on this was that he needed pack structure established again so I decided to tether him to me as I did when he was younger and have a few more short obedience sessions with him.

All of this worked, and the within the next few days he was back to his old self, mostly. His recall is back in shape and he has been reminded of the rules of the house.

The weird thing is, though, that his bond with me seems to have been affected by my absence. He used to be a serious velcro dog. I couldn't go ANYWHERE without him on my tail. Now when I leave a room he stays put. When I'm going somewhere I have to call him to me, when prior to the vacation that wasn't necessary. I originally thought that was weird but that it would correct itself eventually.

BUT then the woman who was watching him was with us for the last couple of days. He was bonded to HER! It was really strange. Exactly how he used to act with me, he's now acting that way with her! It was oddly disturbing.

His obedience work with me seems to be unaffected. But if she's present, he looks to her. ARGH!

What this says to me is that she was a stronger pack leader somehow that I have been. The odd thing is that she spoiled him while I was gone (letting him sleep on the bed etc. She knows better but recently lost her dog and I didn't see how it would hurt MY bond with my dog if she was permissive while I was gone).

I'm not sure if this is an issue or not. After that first weird day, Carbon is attentive to me and obedient and affectionate. But he just clearly prefers her. He follows her, whines when she leaves, sits at her feet, etc.

So! Should I just let this go? Is this an issue at all? I think to myself that there are very real reasons why his strongest bond should be to me, but then I wonder if I'm just being a stupid jealous human! After all, I'm still getting great behavior and results from my dog.

So...what say you? Issue or non-issue? How the hell did she pull this off in 10 days?!?! I've asked her about it and she's as bewildered by it as I am.

Easy, she spoiled the crap out of your 5 month old dog for 10 long days! They can be easily swayed at that age. If she is still staying with you? Your bond will be back, just keep him with you and make sure you stick to your old routines.

I never leave my dogs with friends. I take mine on vacations. If I were going somewhere and could not take my dog, I would rather board him at a reputable kennel that would follow my rules. One of them would be feed, water and clean the kennel, otherwise leave my dog alone! As long as it's only for short time, my dog doesn't need to be walked, played with and particulary doesn't need to be disciplined by anyone but me.

I see this when I leave my dog with my brother If I have to leave town.

Unless you find someone who will treat the dog, and train just like you do, then you'll always have this problem.

She did spoil him, for sure! But generally spoiling your dog isn't the way to become the pack leader. I understand him liking her as a result, but I don't understand his natural obedience to her. You'd think that by letting him sort of run things while he was gone would make her someone that he would push around, not submit to. And he's a fairly dominant dog.

I wish I could have taken him with me on the vacation. It was a HUGE issue with me before I left. But what's done is done.

I'm wondering if I should limit their contact for awhile, until things get reestablished...but then I think that's silly. I'm more attached to this dog that I have ever been to any dog and so there's a very real possibility that I'm just being, um, too "human!"

I agree, spoiling is the one thing that will cause havoc.
I actually am lucky enough to have a 15 year old that LOVES to work dogs.
He cares for the dogs the way that I do and although the dogs love him, they still know Mom is in charge when I get home.
I tried having my sister do it and she totally spoiled a couple of my dogs in 5 days and that took a month to get over. So she is fired....
I also am going through re-bonding with my Mal as she was at the trainers for a while for some finish work. I keep her with me at all times and for about a week she slept next to my bed, tethered to my wrist. She now sleeps in her crate again and the bond is coming along nicely.
I would say that you should go through the re-bonding steps and treat him like he was the puppy that first came home. You should be the only one that does anything with him, especially when the dogsitter comes around. I would not let him do anything with her, as hard as that may be for her, until your bond is re-established.

 Quote: Carol Boche

I would say that you should go through the re-bonding steps and treat him like he was the puppy that first came home. You should be the only one that does anything with him, especially when the dogsitter comes around. I would not let him do anything with her, as hard as that may be for her, until your bond is re-established.

Okay, good to hear. That is what I was thinking, too, but just wanted to make sure that I wasn't acting emotionally as opposed to logically. I've never had this issue before and it's good to hear that it happens to other people, too!

Amber, I feel your pain. I think it's an issue cause it has to do with you and your pup's relationship. You may be feeling jealous but I think it's warranted Of course you don't want your pup bonded to anyone outside the home, just you and son. I don't think anyone of us would want that to happen with our dogs.

BUT, I agree with Susan, your bond will be back. If it's at all possible try to keep the "other woman" (LOL) out of the picture for a couple of weeks, at least as far as Carbon is concerned.

I'm thinking that it isn't abnormal at all for him to have bonded with her. He really didn't know you were coming back and he needed a bond with someone and there she was. Ten days isn't a short time in the life of a pup so young. They don't have a long time frame of reference. Ten days in the life of a puppy is longer than 10 days in the life of an adult dog. So although not abnormal, I don't think he needs her around a lot as a reminder right now.

Amber,
Personally, I'd crate the puppy more. Review some of Ed's articles on pack leadership. Leaders don't swoon over their puppies, they're aloof. Crate, then play time with you exclusively then back in the crate. It won't take long for the dog to realize that any and all good things come from you only. He'll love ya for it!

Well, at least my finace is still bonded to me!

The woman who watched him is a trainer and a highly accomplished one at that. But her dog recently died and he looked almost identical to Carbon. Hence all of the spoiling. I thought it would be good for both of them...she did keep up on his training. I didn't realize that 10 days of permissiveness would affect MY bond with him, though. That honestly didn't occur to me.

Well, there is no teacher like experience, right?

Ah well, at least it's not anything that I can't fix...I hope!

Amber, I think you did what you had to do, and you chose the best of the options you had. I don't think you made a mistake at all, you did the right thing. Better your pup was loved than not, having to be separated from you, it's what I would have wanted for my pup too. The bonding he made with the lady is 100 times better than if he had been ignored the whole time. (I'm speaking from a still very painful experience with one of my dogs when I was 17.)

He'll be back to his old velcro self in no time.