Socialized but not "pettable"?
#162495 - 11/12/2007 03:44 PM |
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I have a 1-year old GSD who is a wonderful companion dog for my husband and me. We take him on walks in town to socialize him, and he's fine when he's with us. I know from the Leerburg site that you want your dog to observe the world, not interact with it, in order to do good socializing. But our dog shies away whenever someone approaches him head on ("Oh, what a cute puppy!!!" He doesn't like that!). So, should we expect our dog to be "pettable" by strangers in order to be considered fully socialized? I have some idiot neighbors who have MY hackles up because they're constantly questioning why we won't allow people to pet our dog, and they're always saying how they've "NEVER known a shepherd to be so unfriendly!" This annoys me because they obviously don't know what they're talking about when it comes to GSDs and socialization, but to be honest, I would like my dog to not shy away when a stranger approaches him. Even though he's never acted aggressively toward strangers (like lunging, growling, or biting), I worry that the shyness could eventually become aggression. In the house he barks when new people come in because he's protecting his territory and his pack, which we do like. So, should we socialize our dog more? Should we be worried about the shying away? If so, how can we help him overcome that fear? It's hard to know whether to push harder or if you're on the right track! Thanks! :-)
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Re: Socialized but not "pettable"?
[Re: Liz Thomson ]
#162498 - 11/12/2007 04:24 PM |
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I believe reaching down to pet a dog's head is a sign of dominance, and it might frighten your dog or make him tense. If you still want to allow them to pet your dog, why not ask them to kneel down at his level and let him sniff them first, then they can pet his shoulders or chest? That's what I've done with head-shy dogs whom the owners let me pet them.
Don't feel like your dog NEEDS to be the neighborhood spokesdog - if you're happy with him and he isn't a threat to other people or animals, it sounds like he's OK, maybe just nervous? Maybe let him go at his pace. There's a lot of great advice on this board, someone else will probably have a much more in-depth answer. :3
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Re: Socialized but not "pettable"?
[Re: Jinn Schmitz ]
#162510 - 11/12/2007 05:52 PM |
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Many dogs do not like their heads to be touched.
I have no problem with a dog who wants to sniff first, and then be petted on the body.
How much does he shy away, though? Is it just the moron neighbor looming over his head, or is it anyone getting close to you and him?
In the house, after the alert bark, can you quiet him?
As for the neighbor, I'd say "Dogs are individuals. He isn't unfriendly with his own pack or people he knows well, and I see no reason to force him to accept strangers touching him." And then stick out your tongue and walk away.
:>
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Re: Socialized but not "pettable"?
[Re: Connie Sutherland ]
#162523 - 11/12/2007 07:32 PM |
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Without broaching to some of the other things brought up by Connie, think about it Liz, did you get the dog for your family or for the neighbors?
Some dogs just don't like to be pet outside of the pack, and some are even more independent than that. So what! You're happy with him, thats what counts. Tell the neighbor/s to stick it in their ear, and to go get their own if they want a social butterfly.
The dog isn't the problem.
Randy
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Re: Socialized but not "pettable"?
[Re: randy allen ]
#162534 - 11/12/2007 08:34 PM |
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Jinn and Connie - We haven't noticed that head petting makes our dog more nervous than body petting because he doesn't let anyone get close enough to try! He's comfortable and will sit or lie down when someone is about 6 feet away, but any closer than that and he's on high alert and will back away. He wasn't like that when we got him (at about 3 months old), but only started noticing it at around 5 months. We had him in "doggie day care" from three months old until he was about 7 months old, so either this is just his personality, or someone scared him in daycare, even though when we asked they said nothing unusual happened (but would they admit it if something DID happen? Unlikely.) So it's hard for us to tell if he just had a bad experience, or if that's just his personality.
When he barks an alert in the house when a person walks by on the street, we are able to quiet him with an "enough." But if someone is IN the house, he's much harder to quiet, so we usually put him in his crate, and he'll calm down quickly. However, the times when my Mom or other relatives have come to visit, he will bark and act aloof for about a day, and then realizes that they're not a threat and stops barking, still acts aloof, but will play fetch with the new person and sometimes allow them to pet him. So from these examples it seems like he's just VERY tightly bonded to my husband and me, and doesn't like outsiders infiltrating the pack!
I agree with what you all said... my neighbors know where they can put their ignorent comments! So to your point Randy, we definitely got the dog to be OURS, and we just think he's the greatest.
So I guess the bottom line is we'll keep doing the socilizing we've been doing, not force our dog to be friendly with strangers, and NOT listen to stupid neighbors!
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Re: Socialized but not "pettable"?
[Re: Connie Sutherland ]
#162612 - 11/13/2007 09:54 AM |
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And then stick out your tongue and walk away.
:>
THIS is the best piece of advice I have seen on this board yet. I just pretend the dog's never reacted that way before (big lie) and then I say, "wow, he must really not like you."
I wouldn't worry about your dog at all. Mine is 4 and the same way. He simply doesn't like to be touched. Period. Your dog needs to be STABLE in public-not friendly. JMO-but I'm right.
Now, to the attitude about the neighbors...welcome to my life. I just respond after their little tirade about what's wrong w/my dog "Well, good thing he's not your dog, then, isn't it?"...or "Well, if I'd wanted a Golden Retriever, I'd have f'ing bought one." Now smile sweetly. There! You've got it!
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Re: Socialized but not "pettable"?
[Re: Jenni Williams ]
#162640 - 11/13/2007 11:25 AM |
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I just pretend the dog's never reacted that way before (big lie) and then I say, "wow, he must really not like you."
Even better.
And look at them suspiciously. Check their hands for weapons, etc.
As you walk away, keep looking back and frowning.
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Re: Socialized but not "pettable"?
[Re: Connie Sutherland ]
#162656 - 11/13/2007 12:17 PM |
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I just pretend the dog's never reacted that way before (big lie) and then I say, "wow, he must really not like you."
Even better.
And look at them suspiciously. Check their hands for weapons, etc.
As you walk away, keep looking back and frowning.
![:grin: smiley for :grin:](http://leerburg.com/forums/images/graemlins/default/grin.gif) ROTFLMAO
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Re: Socialized but not "pettable"?
[Re: Jenni Williams ]
#162657 - 11/13/2007 12:19 PM |
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Connie you're a genius
Someone please give her an extra star! Lol.
Haha I can't stop laughing, I am SO going to try this out!!
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Re: Socialized but not "pettable"?
[Re: Yuko Blum ]
#162658 - 11/13/2007 12:28 PM |
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Liz, you're doing the right thing by not letting people pet your dog. (If he's acting fearful you can always ask people to toss a treat to him, but that's about it).
Unfortunately you will have to deal with imbeciles who won't take "no" for an answer but that's not your dog's problem
There's never any point in forcing a dog to accept petting from strangers. Heck if random people off the street tried to pet me I'd bite them too.
Even if you have a friendly dog it's best for your relationship with your dog to not allow strangers to pet him. That way your dog looks to you for all his affection and attention needs and doesn't get distracted by every person walking down the street.
All you can do now is try to get some enjoyment out of telling people off. Hopefully Connie's brilliant suggestion will inspire you and you will come up with many creative ways of making people feel like idiots when they try to grab your dog or better yet tell you what's wrong with your dog and how to fix him
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