My fiance has a 6 year old dalmation and a 13 month old husky, both are females and both are intact. The dalmation is VERY overweight, 110 lbs (should be around 55lbs), the husky is a trim, fit 40 lbs. He feeds the dalmation Canidae platinum for overweight dogs and the husky Merrick dry.
Here's the problem, well, I realize he is the problem, but this is the situation. When he feeds them, the husky will pick at her food, barely eating it, while the dalmation devours hers and then, of course, goes for the huskies, which causes fights. I have told him repeatedly to feed them either in seperate rooms or at seperate times, and to leave the food down for only 15 min., pick up whatever is left and to not feed the husky again until the next night. He is convinced she is going to starve to death in the 2-3 days it will take her to figure out "Gee, if I don't eat the food he puts down, I don't eat..so, I better eat, NOW". The husky, not being stupid, knows that she doesn't have to eat her kibble (she burries outside, piece by piece) because her well trained person will give her a good portion of his dinner, because he feels sorry for her because she didn't eat her kibble.

Will someone, anyone, everyone, please explain to him that the husky is not going to starve. I have 2 dogs of my own, and I have explained to him that when we are married, this behaviour is not going to be tololrated, so he better nip it in the bud now, or I will. Please help me.....

The bigger pack issue is allowing one dog to go for the food of the other dog.

Food that the pack leader gives and then doesn't protect the dog from losing? HUGE problem. That says to the dog that s/he has no pack leader. Maybe he hasn't thought of it in this light, but it's a surefire way to weaken any trust the dog has in the pack leader.

Why would anyone want their dog to have anxiety and fear around losing their food? And setting the scene for fights.... creating food-aggression {shakes head sadly} ... This is not what a pack leader does.

Two simple choices: Feed them separately (enough separately so that the threatened dog does not even have to THINK about the food being stolen) or stand right there and police mealtimes.

As for allowing a dog to be that dangerously overweight -- no comment. He HAS to know that's a huge problem.

The Husky will learn to eat her food promptly in less than a day. That's a non-issue.

There isn't any other advice. He needs to do what he needs to do, there's no behavior mod that you can do to a dog to fix a bad handler/owner.

It's a quality of life issue, at this weight his dalmatian WILL die sooner. If that's ok with him, then he can continue to do what he's doing.

Also, you say the husky doesn't eat its kibble, and instead subsists on what he gives it? Seems like he'd save some money if he just switched it to a Raw diet and cut out the kibble.

Here is what I would tell him:

Unless the husky has a visa or debit card and can shop at the grocery store, he's going to eat when he gets good and hungry.

I'd want to see him sort this out before the wedding!!!

It would appear that he'll need to buy into a plan to manage all four dogs when you move in together...

Disagreement on basic care of dogs is by no means a trivial issue in a marriage, not least because of what it might predict with respect to consistency in parenting and problem resolution between partners...

good luck. Andrew may

You might want to get a couple of Ed's videos and watch them together. I would start with

http://www.leerburg.com/302.htm

and

http://www.leerburg.com/308.htm


This might be a good way to become a team instead of antagonists. Maybe it will help if an authoritative third source explains how it's done.

I betcha the results will be better than the results I would probably get from my tactics, which would involve bad language and raised voices.

If you presented it as YOU wanting to improve your own skills too, that might trigger less defensiveness.

I totally agree with Connie.

And the ONLY reason there is aggression between these two dogs is due to lack of leadership.
It is a simple fix really, once you get hubby to be on board.

I took that approach and pretty soon, Doug was sitting with me watching the videos, thumbing through my training books and then asking me how I did certain things. Not to mention, surfing the LB site when he thought I was not looking.....YES!!!
He is not really involved in the feeding process. (unless I am gone and then he doles out the meals I have in ziplocks with the dogs names on them) All my dogs are separated at feeding time, each in their kennel or crate. I do not want to pay the vet bills for the damage they do to each other as my dogs do not just scrap, they full out fight over food.

It was a great experience when Doug started doing that as I knew "forcing" him would not work at all. He just saw the benefits and the way my dogs reacted to me and decided that was better than the old methods that have been around for years.

And, as we all know, trying to force a man into something new does not work. Kind of like dog training, positive reinforcement REALLY works....hee hee

Thanks for the input, and the DVD recommendations. I will be getting them, for sure. I think I have said something similar to what Ted suggested, before. In my world, the dogs live by the rules I make, not the other way around. And believe me, this IS something I want to get sorted out before the wedding. Neither of us have human children, but obviously the merging our furkids needs to be discussed and dealt with seriously before we are all living under the same roof.

I am hopeful. I introduced him to the Dog Whisperer, and he has read both books and rented and watched the first 3 seasons. He knows his weaknesses, unfortunately, so do the dogs. He is just a big softy and doesn't like them to be unhappy. He is starting to understand that imposing human emotions on dogs is not healthy for human nor dog. He does it to make himself feel better, not the dogs. I just wanted him to hear from some people with more experience and knowledge than I, that the dog wont starve, get sick or die in the short time it takes to teach her she has to eat her DOG food. Thanks again, all your advice has been very helpful

Dogs who are secure with their place in the pack hierarchy and who know that their pack leader is in charge and will protect them -- those are the happy dogs. As you say, doing what makes the human feel better does not help the dog's confidence or security.

I betcha you will have great results with co-handling based on Ed's videos (which are also quite watchable; it isn't like sentencing him to some horrible boring documentary).

Good luck! You're on the right track!