Well we have finally narrowed it down to 2 names for our pup, either Colt because he is a pistol for sure!, or Bindi because he like a little alligator and my son loves croc hunter (we wont tell him she is a little girl!)
He is doing great, has almost doubled in size, and we are trying hard to get our little guy crate trained.

BUT there is an unforseen issue which is making it hard on both my husband and I. Being close to the holidays always brings up emotions as well I know so that is probably part of it too. So here is my sappy and not tough at all venting of our problem.....

When he gets really upset about being in there he gets to screaming and it is the EXACT same screaming cry my Levi was making the morning we lost him. That cry immediately kicks in the full force of the memory for both of us, it was a gruesome and horrible death for my baby,and it wasnt instant so that sound is etched in my mind and heart. I was truly in shock after it happened and I still have moments of profound grief and guilt over his death.

But this screaming cry that the pup does brings back the physical reaction to the accident, my heart pounds and I get all hyperventilatey and panicky feeling which had subsided a couple of weeks after the accident. My poor husband had to finish what the truck did not and the truck driver could not, and although he doesnt say much about it I know it was really hard on him for him to even bring up the pup sounding exactly the same.

Logically I know our new baby is fine, he just wants out, and logicaly I know that I am only going to make it worse and louder and prolong it all if I rush to let him out, but geez it's hard to hear.

Logically I also know Levi wasnt in a lot of pain, he was too broken to be in much pain and the screaming was more about not being able to get free of the wheel or move his body. He had a table knocked over on his paw once and that was screaming due to pain a totally different sound to it. But that doesnt stopt the sound memory connection.

Most people would have no clue why we have such a strong reaction and such strong emotions tied to the whole thing. So its hard to even tell them and have them get it much less hope for any constructive thoughts or advice.

P.S. they are noisy creatures to live with, not a lot of barking but they chortle and chatter and woo, and howl, and truly will scream when upset, 99% of the time we enjoy the husky talking but this is not one of them!

P.s.s.
Loki our hound who was very close to Levi also gets very upset and shakes and whines when pup does this, then he will either paw the door of the crate to try to get it open or come and stare at me urgently to save the pup from his certain doom. Poor guy he moped for weeks after Levi passed away and im sure he remembers the sound as well. Even Nico who didnt care much for him was visibly upset by the incident shaking like a leaf and pacing and drooling.

Have you tried giving him a kong filled with frozen goodies or a soup bone to gnaw on while he is in his crate?
Covering it with a towel or blanket will also help. And if you have to, put him somewhere that is away from the immediate area and let him work it out. Sounds harsh, but it will help you to resist the temptation to let him out.

I don't know what *exactly* happened with your pup Levi, must have missed the post.

Your reactions and feelings are TOTALLY acceptable and understandable. THEY WILL PASS. Your new pup is healthy and fine and will scream in the crate...AND he will stop one day...DO NOT FEED into it.

EMOTIONS in humans are merely a synapse! Biologically, rationally, physiologically, they only last 3 seconds!!! YEs, a mere 3 seconds. The remainder of the emotion is based in the memory center of your brain (painful, thus memories of your Levi).

If it is any consolation, my dog MoJo died last year when I was on vacation. Died right there on his bed...

http://www.leerburg.com/forums/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/122922/page/0/fpart/1

We are readying to leave this year again, new pup Cato will be at the house with my mom. I will admit, I am a bit "pissy" about having to leave the pup (memories based in the death of MoJo).

I'm SO tempted to skip CA altogether, but that would be foolish, as I *know* Cato will be fine with my mom...

Edited by Michele McAtee (12/23/2007 01:06 PM)
Edit reason: link

he has a kong filled with frozen hamburger and Kefir, a Nylabone, his lovey bunny, and his blanket.

He also eats in his crate and goes in there to munch on Soup bones. We are at about 15 minutes until total hysterics vs about 45 seconds 2 weeks ago. So progress is beig made, but its slow going and he certainly isnt making it any easier on us.

What type of crate are you using?

I have had dogs that scream in a plastic crate, but are quiet in a wire crate since they can see more of their surroundings and vice versa.

Jesea hated the crate she flew in, but once I changed it to the same crate only bigger she was fine. Not nary a peep.

If you have to leave the room, even go three rooms away, then you have to do it.

I would work my darnedest (as hard as it is) to associate this noise with something else. If not for you, then for this dog.

This dog needs zero reaction from you when he fusses (or screams or whatever) in the crate. That means no attention, no being upset, no crying, no nothing.

I could spend an hour on dealing with your terrible and 100% understandable carryover emotions, but that's completely counterproductive for this dog.

SO. I'd work on focusing on this dog and the fact that he has to learn there's no way he can convince you to change the crate plan.


By the way, to the memory of the dog who your husband had the heroism to help out of his struggle: His life is not defined by his death. Here's to the work of remembering only the life part.

 Quote: Jennifer Lee

P.s.s.
Loki our hound who was very close to Levi also gets very upset and shakes and whines when pup does this, then he will either paw the door of the crate to try to get it open or come and stare at me urgently to save the pup from his certain doom.

He is in need too, and he needs calm and confidence from you. No coddling or soothing murmuring -- in fact, maybe a little upbeat basic ob.

Ms. Lee,

I can't begin to put me in the emotional place you find your self when the puppy begins cry. But many of us have experienced loss and can empathize.

That said the following are comments from an outsider without the emotional investment you have. I hope you will not read what I'm trying to write as being cold or mean spirited.

The truth of the matter is that the puppy is with you now. He needs you to train him. He needs to be put in his crate, with a blanket over it, and be left there to get used to his little den.

It is OK to re-live the time you had with Levi but you must try to put that awful time off to one side when trying to train the puppy, or you do the puppy and yourself an injustice.

The puppy must learn to be apart, and to settle in to that time. He needs a schedule for being a puppy that will take him through the puppy stage. Up at a certain time, outside as needed, food at certain times, play at certain times, training at certain times, rest at certain times, and sleep through the night. And the crate can be a great help in establishing the schedule... But you know that.

If you could some how invest in the schedule, and use the schedule as a distraction, and some how focus on that schedule as a ladder that needs to be climbed through the day... And focus on the puppy...

I know how hard it is to lose a dog. Dogs, actually, and for various reasons. The pain is real. The loss is real. And time moves slow in the healing process.

So, you have a puppy. It needs you to manage its adjustment into the family. It is not a replacement for Levi. It is a new member of the pack.

You should mourn Levi by remembering all the good stuff. And you should try not to burden your time with the puppy with memories.

Establish a schedule you can focus on. The crate training will pay off with patience. Remember, you are not listening for Levi, you are training your new family member.

I do apologize if I have come across as insensitive.

Im so sorry about the loss of your dog, it is so hard.

Here is the story of what happened, Its hard to type even now, but good to tell at the same time.

Levi was an escape artist extrordinaire. He didnt run away simply wanted to go visit the neighbors. But if we tried to catch him it was then a game of cat and mouse until someone new happened to either be outside or pull over to help me, total strangers he would run right up to because he loved meeting new people.

I had him tagged, chipped and tatooed knowing the chances were high he might find a way out and go with whomever he found, he was also strikingly beautiful and I knew he was likely to be stolen if found. I worried about him getting hit all the time but we did everything we could to keep him safe short of putting in a ceilinged run which would have been a miserable existence for him. I never thought he could open the door, its not an easy door to unlatch.

We never let him outside unnattended and he had to be on leash at all times if not in the house or back yard with someone, we even put him behind the gate in the hallway before leaving the house so he wouldnt shoot out the front door like a rocket.

We had just purchased the kit to make an electric wire run the base of the fence to try to keep him alive.

One night he must have figured out how to open the doorknob with his paws, I over slept by 10 minutes that morning and about 30 seconds after waking up i heard the noise and walked to the living room to look and saw he was gone. I knew immediately and went tearing out of the front door to find him.

He was pinned under the wheel of a milk truck in front of our neighbors house and I made the mistake of running up to him and around the front of the truck which to this day wish I had not done, its not something i will ever be able to shake.

Im generally a pretty stoic and together person but i totally lost it, so much so that the cops showed up later to check in on us because someone had called and reported a domestic disturbance They were very nice. The truck driver was ticketed for speeding and driving a heavy truck in a residential area. (It might have been a child instead) The company offered to pay us the value of the dog, but there was no price i would ever take for him and it wouldnt have helped anyway.
Even animal control was very nice that morning and agreed to take him to our vet to be cremated rather than the pound.
I have lost family members, and I have lost dogs, but this was so sudden and traumatic and frankly gruesome. I worked at a vet in high school and saw some bad accidents but nothing like what happened to my poor guy. He certainly didnt deserve and ending like that.
http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f203/bathdeva/dogs/brothers.jpg
http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f203/bathdeva/dogs/canonpictures044.jpg

You NEED to focus on his good life. I would start working on that. His memory deserves it.

You have a new year now, and Mike has given you EXCELLENT focus points.

Do for this pup what this pup needs. You will always look back and be proud of that.