Hi Everyone, I recently posted this post under another topic and was surprised at the responses I got and I don't want to hi-jack any ones thread so I am starting this one and hoping I can get some more advice, also I will elaborate on this subject a little bit, thanks in advance

Original Post:
I also have a soon-to-be step-daughter who is not allowed around my pup at all, I don't want to say she is stupid because she is only 8, but she does not listen or even try to understand the proper way to handle an animal. I do not own a big dog, I opted for a very small, 4lb, very hyper female Pomeranian and she is my pride and joy. The thing is these smaller breeds are fragile and need to be handled with care, my pup is only 7 months old and because of improper treatment, by a stupid person, is limping on her rear leg because her kneecap popped out of joint, YES I AM ANGRY!!!!
I do not let anyone around my dog, my fiance has a different view and lets everyone around her, which is why my training her was somewhat of an absolute nightmare, anyway I have to lock my pup away the entire weekend that my step-daughter is here because she won't leave her alone. My fiance and I fight about this all the time because I want to spend time with my pup on the weekends, I think it is only fair that she not have to be locked up all the time.
I keep my pup gated in a smaller area in our house, she has the kitchen and laundry room and usually I only put up a gate and all is fine, well his daughter doesn't listen to stay out and sneeks down with my dog then she'll start pushing her around thinking that this kind of play is acceptable, which it is not, especially since my pup has a hurt leg, it just gets so irritating that I have to stress about MY PUP and how she is treated.
This past Friday, after Thanksgiving, we had leftover turkey in our fridge, now I would never feed my small dog turkey, especially with unknown seasonings on it (My fiances mom made it)anyway we left Friday morning to go to our business and I left Sadie, my pup, at home for a little while well when I went to pick her up she had vomited up piles and piles of Turkey, I did not feed her, my fiance did not feed it to her either so who does that leave..... my step-daughter, she lied and said she didn't but the turkey was missing and the dog can't open the fridge so 2 and 2 makes 4, this has really angered me because my pup has been sick ever since, she has been vomiting and has had really bad diarrhea and I am worried that there was something toxic to her on it.
My point is why is it that people always feel the need to treat your animal how they want, or exactly the way they wouldn't want you treating theirs, it's MY PUP, mine I didn't get it for no one else, if that's mean tough, I paid for her, I take care of her, she's mine, leave her alone.
This had been a continuing argument since Friday morning and I don't care about anyone else I just want my pup to get better, thanks for letting me vent and if anyone has any info on helping my pup get over being sick please let me know, have a good night!

OK, in order not to double up on the responses to this (I would have re-written the post to update it ...), I am going to paste some of the previous answers here.

 Quote: Jennifer Lee

Not to hijack the thread but there is no reason an 8 yeay old can't learn the proper way to handle an animal.
My son is 7 ans has helped bottle feed rescue kittens, apply warm compresses to owies and helps me feed both the dogs and cats. he also feeds the fish and changes the water in his tank

All with help and supervision of course.

 Quote: Connie Sutherland

.... I would make it a family evening to watch a video (perhaps Ed's Marker Training video because it's so entertaining as well as informative, even though Basic Ob would be what would be technically most appropriate), have some popcorn, pause when a question comes up, and enjoy learning.

I'm personally angry when I read your post about someone feeding your dog and lying about it, because this is your dog and I too am angered by others (even if they DO know about training and feeding and so on) who take liberties with my dog.

BUT, the best interest of the dog is not served by having her become a pawn here.

She needs the security of routine, a solid pack leader, and certainly no one EVER feeding anything that you don't approve. So the 8-year-old needs to become part of the team (not to make decisions, of course, but to learn the way to be around the dog).

The best thing to do is all be on the same team.

As for the gating, etc., on weekends -- the pup can be tethered to you. There is no reason why even a house-trained pup cannot be tethered to you for a weekend. This will also present dozens of excellent opportunities to demonstrate the appropriate way(s) to interact with her.

No one touches my dogs, feeds my dogs, certainly never picks up my dogs, corrects my dogs, or, in fact, has any interaction with them at all without my pre-approval. This is not weird or mean. This is what responsible owners do.

The child will probably be proud to be allowed to join the elite who ARE allowed to be a caretaker for this dog. Part of that, of course, it suitable learning about how to do it.

Dogs are not children, and I make no mistake about that. I raised children too, and I don't confuse the two.

But in this way they are similar: YOU are responsible for this living being, and just as you would be with a child, you are the one who dictates how this living baby animal is handled, talked to, trained, and fed.

You teach people how to treat you, I believe very strongly. I would not allow a bunch of discussion over this. This is how it is. No fights; no accusations.

And you now know that you cannot leave the dog with whoever was in charge when she was fed the turkey.

I know how frustrating it is. I have tried to get family not to pay too much attention to my new pup, as I'd like her to look to ME for everything, and I'm having no luck either! It is an uphill battle, despite taking the dog everywhere with us, I don't know the answer.
It's hard to get people to respect my wishes, as I'm sure you are finding too, as your pup is probably really cute and adorable.
Sorry, I have no answers for you, as I am fighting the same battle only not to the same degree.
Your fiance is probably going to have to step up and tell his daughter to leave the puppy alone. I'd say withhold sex, but 'they' say not to do that!

 Quote: Connie Sutherland

Now the physical illness.

How many times has she thrown up, and when was the last time?

Is the diarrhea pudding or water consistency?

When did she last have a poop, and was is better or worse?

Shannon,

Connie gave you some great advice about how to handle other people with your pup on the other post. Re-read it. It is really good stuff!

Is your pup STILL sick since last Friday? If so, have you been to the vet? If she is still vomiting and has diarrhea, you need to see one NOW!

Gosh! we were all posting at once!

 Quote: Jennifer Lee

It is my strong feeling as a mother that how we teach our children to treat animals will shape them for the rest of their lives.
The empathy, compassion, sense of responsibility and companionship they gain from caring for animals will stick with them for the rest of their lives.

And that way hopefully when he is older I won't end up with him doing something stupid like trying to ride a dog!!

 Quote: Connie Sutherland

Well said, Jennifer!

Shannon has an opportunity to shape the way this child treats animals forever ... probably to benefit more than one dog's life.

What a wonderful thing to leave behind when we go: the example of compassion, leadership, proper dog (all animal) care .... for the child to pass along to her children and to everyone else whose lives she affects.

 Quote: Lois Miller

As a family therapist for many years, I saw this sort of behavior from children who were struggling with some of the issues related to blended families. This may or may not be the case with your step daughter, but thought I might add this advice if it fits.

Many times children dont have the communication skills needed to express their feelings and will commonly act out in passive aggressive ways to get the attention they crave.

My suggestion would be to follow the great advice that has been given regarding getting your step daughter 'on board' with proper care and treatment of your pup, but also possibly spend some one on one quality time with her helping her to realize that she too is important, cherished and loved. Maybe this time together will also help her to be able to communicate with you in more healthy ways exactly what her potential concerns, fears or insecurities might be.

Good luck to you and your family.

 Quote: ann freier

... now THAT is a beautiful post...

 Quote: Tracy R Touzjian

.... Is your pup STILL sick since last Friday? If so, have you been to the vet? If she is still vomiting and has diarrhea, you need to see one NOW!

Good catch, Tracy!

This is top priority, I'd say.