To All-

I am really confused and can use some advice. I have a goldendoodle who is the friendliest dog of all time, but the dog shows zero excitement when I come home. I have had her since 8 weeks old when I got her as a little friendly puppy.

I know what I did wrong. When I used to come home during lunch to walk her or after work, she would get really excited to come out of the crate and jump all over me and try to give me kisses. Althought that is what I wanted, the trainer at the time instructed me to put her down for jumping on me and put her in "Puppy down" where I would pretend to be a more dominant dog until she calms down.

Well, let's fast forward now, she is 19 months old and is still in the crate when I am not home and when I come home, it's almost like she could care less about me being home. As you can imagine this is extremely upsettings considering all the time and effort I put in. I walk the dog everyday and play with her for at least 2 hours a night when I get home. I even ride her on my bike for a few miles 3x a week and take her everywhere with me. I believe she respects me and understands that I am the dominant one, but I am not 100% sure if that is what I want at all times.

I have tried several things when I come home, one of course is what I call a "celebrity greeting" where I get really excited to see her and run around with toys. She is excited for a minute, but has zero affection. I am totally perplexed.

I managed to break the initial bond between dog and human and I would love to know how to fix it.

Any help and advice would be grealy appreciated.

Thanks
jg

I only wish mine would show zero excitement when I or someone else in the family came home, it took a long time to make it manageable at our house.

Does she show affection at other times, once you've been home for a while is she affectionate and friendly?

It might be that putting her in a down and acting overtly dominant with her as a pup made her unsure if she can totally trust you to be safe at all times.

Also if you are acting strangely by running around with toys and being a spas, she might be confused and avoiding that behavior because she is unsure what to make of it.

Massage is a great way to foster a bond and a quiet trust.

Jennifer,

Thanks for the quick response.

I wish I was in your case where my dog would get really excited. I always dreamed of having a dog that when you come home no matter what kind of day you have the dog is happy to see you. Sometimes, when she is out of the crate and my mother is home, I will get a few tail wags and sometimes she will pick up a toy and want to play, but never the well known "Dog Welcome"

I know for a 100% fact that my mistake when she was a puppy has caused this behavior. I know she is still young and I am hoping I can somehow reverse my mistakes.

I also see she will not sit near me or on the couch and almost like she is hyperventilating at times.

How should I put her in a position to massage her? I want to make sure she is comfortable and enjoys my company.

Thanks

 Quote: Josh Goldfarb

.... I know for a 100% fact that my mistake when she was a puppy has caused this behavior. I know she is still young and I am hoping I can somehow reverse my mistakes. ... I also see she will not sit near me or on the couch and almost like she is hyperventilating at times.

What exactly was the mistake? Has she been over-corrected and now afraid? I ask that because of her not wanting to be near you.

Do you know marker training?

Can you describe the mistake you mention in detail, and any kinds of corrections, and also what kind of obedience training you have done?

Just start with light, but not so light it tickles, rubbing where she feels comfortable. Anywhere she likes to be pet or rubbed. Slow round motions on the upper chest seems to be a key place for my dogs. Let her be your guide

Work up slowly to an all out massage. If there is any sign of tension or discomfort I would back off or go back to an area she is more comfortable with.

With mine as soon as I start they turn to mush and sort of collapse on to their side, I usually start on their chest and make my way down their sides and tummy. Then I do their legs and check their feet and between their pads, and I also use this time to check ears and teeth since they are so relaxed, but for now you want this to just be one on one quiet time that is enjoyable for her.

You can use food rewards through this process as well to make it extra appealing to her.

I Think that working with a clicker and some extra yummy treats on basic obedience games or new tricks is also a great way to foster a bond.

A clicker is wonderful for marking the exact behavior you want and it does it with no emotional undertones and in a way that is extradorinarly easy for the dogs to pick up on and has worked with all the dogs I have used it with, even the not so bright ones. It might give her a clear way to know what you are expecting of her and therefore make her more comfortable.

Keep it fun with no pressure and no corrections, if she doesn't do the behavior no click and treat.

Don't underestimate food as a great motivator in bonding exercises as well. Keep treats in your pocket and have one ready for the tail wag or little bit of excitement, and if you are using a clicker keep it around your neck or wrist to click and treat for affection or tail wags.

She is not scared of you is she?

I think you are seeing a positive as a negative. My boxer greets me with what might appear as indifference. She never spends much time showing affection. I think this is a product of her solid temperment.

She has no seperation anxiety. She is solid knowing I am going to return and her positionin the pack.

I would worry if she showed fear or acted like she wanted to be away from me. Neither are the case with me. My boxer is independent and confident. I wish I could get my gsd in the same frame of mind. I am not a big fan of excited greetings.

 Quote: Michelle Berdusco

I think you are seeing a positive as a negative.

I agree with Michelle here. Perhaps your methods when she was a pup were not appropriate, but she is now doing what you wanted (and what most of us strive for, I think) which is a calm greeting out of the crate.

Instead of worrying about her mellow greeting, how about taking her outside after you get home and playing with her? Get her enthused about being with you by making yourself the source of her fun. Engage her with a tug toy and keep a long line on her. Don't let her run a way from you while you are playing. Let her keep the tug to build up her confidence, and reel her in every now and then for more tugging, if she won't come to you on her own. Be enthusiastic!

After you've played with her, do some marker training with her, and use really good treats (like real pieces of meat or cheese, chopped into small pieces). If you are not familiar with marker training, here is a link to a good article here, and another link to Ed's new marker training DVD. A great command to work on for bond-building is 'Watch me!', and can be taugh in a session or two. Keep your training sessions short and fun, and always end on a positive note...

http://leerburg.com/pdf/markers-clickers.pdf (Marker Training Article) free!

http://leerburg.com/219.htm (Marker Training Video)

I agree with the above. Whether you wanted to or not, I think you've achieved the best response from the dog when you come home.

Imagine the opposite: you condition the dog with "celebrity greetings" that the absolute highlight of the day is your return to the house--the dog lives for that moment. So...all day long, when you're not there, the dog is anxiously awaiting your return, the dog paces, urinates, destroys things, all whipped up into a lather worrying that you might not come home for the celebrity greeting. That's exactly how to give a dog separation anxiety.

At my house, no dog is greeted (coming or going), or even looked at. I can get in the house, get my coat off, set down the grocery bag, check the mail, use the bathroom....all without saying a word to the dogs. If they bother to wake up when they hear the door open, they look up as if to say, "oh, are you back already?"

Then, when I'M ready, I say, "Let's go!" and we have a big lovefest, run to the yard, everybody greets, etc. But it's on my terms. Not theirs.

Josh, I think you're taking it personally as some kind of slight, which it's not. It sounds to me from what you say you do with this dog that she's just secure. Secure that you're coming back, secure that you won't leave her for long, secure that you love her (whatever that means to dogs). I have one dog who thinks the sun rises and sets with me. He is my little shadow, but all he does when I come home is quietly wag his tail from the back of the couch cushion where's he's probably been lying all day. It doesn't mean he doesn't like me. It means that he's been my baby for 9 years and knows that he and his place are absolutely secure w/me, so there's no big rush, no reason to get excited. Things are as they should be and will be tomorrow. JMO.

 Quote: Josh Goldfarb

.... I also see she will not sit near me ..... and almost like she is hyperventilating at times.

Do you have any ideas about past interaction that might trigger this?

I'm all for calm homecomings, but is this more than that? (Even if it is, a relationship can be changed, BTW. )