How do you moderate play amongst dogs? Please note--I'm wondering about one-on-one play time, not in dog parks or with stranger's dogs b/c I don't let her do either of those things!

I ask this question b/c I recently introduced my almost 1 year old female GSD to my friend's younger dog. Until now, my pup has always been the youngest amongst dog friends. She's very vocal, but was much more vocal playing with this dog, and I could tell those observing were concerned. Her hackles were never raised nor did she bare her teeth, but she certainly was bossy! Much more growling during tug and keep away games, short barks at him here and there. He would flop down on his side willingly, and the one time she made him yip, she released him right away. When they had a time out and were chewing bones, she growled when he walked towards her. She's not possessive of items and the bones had been a keep away item earlier, but I wonder if I should have taken it from her. She barked and tried to herd him away when he went for attention from humans (jealousy?) and when jumping on them...wish I could say that was b/c she knows jumping is bad, but I'm still working on her not doing this herself! I did correct her for this.

To those watching, my GSD looked like a bully with this little beagle. I thought she was bossy, but for the most part, following play etiquette. Should I have been more involved in their play? If you think a dog has gotten too wound up or stepped out of line when playing, how long do you separate them for? Any tips on how to put other owners at ease when dogs are playing?

Thanks!

Carolyn,

Personally, I never let my male GSD "play" (i.e. interact off leash) with any dogs other than those he lives with in our house. This includes friends' dogs that we see on a regular basis. He is not aggressive but he is dominant, and what looks like "play" is almost always him establishing that he is #1. I just don't allow it - it's not worth the potential problems, and he doesn't need to be establishing rank with dogs he doesn't live with.

I'd give some thought to what you want to achieve by letting your dog interact in this way with other dogs. Yes, she was bullying that beagle, and if I were the beagle's owner I would have been worried. I'd also suggest that giving out bones under these circumstances is asking for trouble. Sounds to me like your dog is maturing and is not going to behave like a puppy around other dogs any more, so you will see more of this.

If you haven't seen it, I strongly recommend the Leerburg DVD on Dealing with Dominant and Aggressive Dogs http (http://leerburg.com/301.htm). Even if you don't think you have an aggressive dog, it is still extremely useful information on dog behavior.

Carolyn,

I agree with Sarah, your dog is definitely bullying this beagle. You may not be able to see it but most of the things you said were bullying/establishing rank. Playing tug is not a good game for dogs that don't know each other. If you needed/wanted to let these dogs have a relationship walking them together will probably be better than letting them play off leash.

I do bring my dog to a dog park, but I don't let others bully her. We usually just play fetch, she is mainly there to work on distractions not for doggy interaction. People are kind of confused by her lack of wanting to play with dogs and focus on the fetching, it's rare that she will run around and play with a dog. Many of the dogs that she will play with are usually a shepherd or shep mix. The way she acts is exactly what I was trying to achieve. What are you trying to achieve by letting these dogs play together? Remember some dogs will never get along.

 Quote: carolyn pinkerto

I'm wondering about one-on-one play time, not in dog parks or with stranger's dogs b/c I don't let her do either of those things!

Even though on the surface it seems different, what you did letting your GSD play with the Beagle was really no different.

For all the reasons letting your dog play with dogs in the dog park, or "strange" dogs elsewhere are bad, so too was letting your dog play with the Beagle.

As far as the dogs were concerned, they were every bit as strange as dog park dogs. Anytime you bring two dogs together, you're playing with fire.

Even if Dog A has played well with 10 other dogs before, that doesn't mean he will play well with Dog B.

Ultimately, dogs don't need to play with other dogs, to be happy, healthy and complete.

In fact, every time you allow dogs to interact, you increase the chances that one, or both, will be traumatized and come away from the experience with lifelong problems. You may end up with the opposite of what you were trying to acheive.

 Quote: sarah ward

He is not aggressive but he is dominant, and what looks like "play" is almost always him establishing that he is #1. I just don't allow it - it's not worth the potential problems, and he doesn't need to be establishing rank with dogs he doesn't live with.

I have a male a lot like this and I completely agree with avoiding most other dogs for that very reason. However, I also believe that my dog (as an only child ) gets a lot of enjoyment out of play with some very specific buddies (usually dogs of similar type and size - and one on one is definitely preferable), so when we can connect, we do have "play dates" sometimes, on neutral open territory. It's true, dog's don't NEED to have regular interaction with other canines to live a satisfied life - I'm pleased with the fact that the bond I've established with my dog is such that he actually doesn't PREFER to be with other dogs over me - but sometimes, some dogs really enjoy a good romp with each other.

When Oscar does get to really play with another dog, there aren't ever objects or toys involved - and there's CERTAINLY never food or bones. If they don't feel like running and wrestling, then we just walk together. And if, while running and wrestling, things get a little too intense (and I usually air on the side of caution and am very conservative) then the dogs are called back to us and we have a 'quiet moment' before resuming play.

I agree with the other posters - this pup was bullying the beagle. Some of that may be due to lack of better moderating, but it could be that she's maturing into a dog that just doesn't need to play with other dogs. At the very least, I wouldn't put items that could spark possessive behavior (toys, bones) in the mix. If your dog can't be with other dogs without trying to dominate them, intimidate them or "protect" items/people from them, then the encounters cease to be healthy or productive for any of the individuals involved and should be something to avoid - you'll need to read your dog to make that call. All JMO.

~Natalya

Thanks for your replies. I'm so embarrassed I let my dog get away with being a bully! You know, when they were outside, they just ran around and explored together--nothing like the behavior inside. When we went back in, I put the bones and toys up. I don't know if being in a strange place could have added to her bad manners, but I'll keep in mind the neutral territory tip.

She has a group of four dog friends she plays very well with. We go on hikes together and spend a lot of times at each others homes, so it's nice that they get along. Like Natalya's dog, she loves playing with her buddies, but she's definitely happiest right by my side!

I'll check out the recommended video. The articles and other DVD I purchased have all been helpful, so I'm sure this one will be as well.

Thanks again.

Don't be embarrassed. No harm done and an important lesson learned. Believe me; there are no perfect dog owners as there are no perfect parents or for that matter perfect people of any sort. As long as you take what you learned and don't repeat the mistake; you should consider it an opportunity to grow.