I'm still in shock, the sudden and unexpected loss of my friend Aera van Joefarm has left me feeling extremely sad and empty.

Aera was one of a kind, she did things her way. I think she lived by the saying "it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission" She had a joyful energy that is sorely missed here. I still can't believe she's gone.

We found a lump on her breast, and while the vet didn't feel it was cancerous he advised removing it because it was becoming ulcerated. I had planned on having her spayed anyway, so we scheduled her for the growth removal and a spay last Wednesday. The vet called me post-op and reported that the growth was benign, the surgery was uneventful and she was out of recovery and doing well. According to the vet, it was a textbook surgery...no complications, her vitals remained stable and strong and she shook off the anesthesia right away. I was to pick her up Thursday morning.

I got a call Thursday morning, she died. I was floored. Upon talking to the vet again, I found out he had been in the hospital with another dog until 11:30 PM so he took Aera out to pee and she came in, had a drink of water and laid down on her blanket. At 6:30 AM she was found dead when the first person came in to work. The Dr. came in and checked her out, no post surgical bleeding or sign of anything obvious. She was laying down in the same position as when he had left her. There is no definitive reason for her to be gone.. he thinks embolism.

The guilt I feel is unbelievable. This dog had never been sick a day in her life. She'd never been to the vet for anything other than OFA xrays and progesterone testing prior to breeding. I feel just awful. She didn't get to leave on her own terms, she was alone and in a vet's office.

No matter how many times I go through this, it never gets easier. She would have been 8 years old in September.

Cindy, it sounds like it was instantaneous. Just lying down and going like that, instantly -- isn't that what we would all hope for, for our best friends?

What other possible choice could you (or anyone) have made about an ulcerating mammary lump?

I am so sorry. You are so right that it never ever gets any easier. In a way, as I grow more attached to my dogs and to my dog-centric life, it gets harder.

Bob Scott said "They are worth every tear."

They are, indeed.

Thank goodness you already live a life that ripples out waves of benefits to all dogs, every day, always. You honor this wonderful departed friend all the time.

Rest in peace, beautiful Aera.

Ohhh Cindy, There are no words to express how I feel for you and those that loved her. I am so sorry.

Cindy I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what a shock it must have been to lose such a healthy and vibrant dog so unexpectedly

At least she did leave a part of herself in all those wonderful puppies she produced for you over the years. And it sounds like she died quickly, without suffering.

I know it doesn't seem like much of a consolation now - I lost my 13-year-old Moka less than a month ago, and even though we had a whole weekend to prepare for the inevitable, it still felt terribly sudden. But once it all settled in, the fact that she went from her normal, happy self to death very quickly without much suffering was a source of comfort.
I hope you can feel the same way about Aera once the shock has passed.

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace.

I am so sorry for your loss Cindy. Words are never adequate but Connie's quote of Bob Scott is right on point. Take care.

Cindy: I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the shock and disbelief you must have felt, especially considering it looked like she was going to be fine. I am so very sorry.

RIP Aera van Joefarm

I'm so sorry Cindy. We just don't have them long enough and the special ones seem to leave even earlier.

Not knowing is bad enough, not being able to say goodbye is just awful.

Rest in peace Aera and may you find peace Cindy.

As others have said their lifespan just isn't long enough. It's mighty hard to lose our friends.

Hugs,
Debbie
Winnie, Dante, Nikki and Louie

Oh Cindy, how sad. My condolences, she sounded like such a great dog.

Cindy, I am so very sorry. What a terrible loss so suddenly and so unexpectedly.

May time bring you comfort and peace. She sounds like she was a vibrant dog that will be with you in spirit for the rest of your days.

Rest in peace Aera.

Katie