I promised someone on a pet forum that I would gather together a list of suggestions for an approaching PTS for her girl with metastasized breast cancer that has been treated with surgery and chemo, but has recurred. The dog still likes her food, but otherwise stays in her bed all day.

I have said that I never want to wait until life turns miserable, but I added that I would get helpful suggestions from an experienced group (this is her first dog, and obviously her first PTS).

If you guys could help me, I could copy and paste the lines into one message for her and tell her it was all from a long-time group of dog-experienced folks who care.

This is the time she must put aside her own wants and think about her girl's feelings. Spend a day feeding her favorite tidbits and just loving on her. Try to keep your own emotions in check to avoid upsetting the dog. Have a good day together and then do her the favor of helping her pass from this world. It is the hardest part of being a dog owner, but it's also our greatest responsibility.

This was exactly the kind of thing I meant. That day together .... I had completely forgotten to say that.

I will pick up all the suggestions and post them in one post with alternate paragraphs in different fonts so it won't be a big block of text.

She is already so bereft, so scared about how she herself will take it ("what will I do without her?"), so overwhelmed.

Oh my Connie. That is a tough one. It’s been 10 months for me and not one day goes by that I don’t think about Edward. I'm probably not the best one to share this experience with.

February 6th will be one year to the day we put him to sleep and it’s as clear in my mind today as it was on that fateful day.

The pain resurfaces all the time but it’s a little less intense these days. And as much as I miss him, I know deep down that we did the right thing. He was in pain with no hope of regaining his health to a comfortable level that he would truly be able to enjoy simple daily activities. Just going to the washroom was a major ordeal for him and he’d be exhausted and in pain from even the shortest walks.

His passing has left a big scar on my heart that is being healed with wonderful memories. I will treasure this scar always, and welcome every painful reminder because he is just so worth it.

I feel for your friend. Only she can do what she feels is right. Hopefully her pup helps her to make that decision.

Okay, must go deal with the tears now.

CJ, you have an anniversary coming up to celebrate the blessing of Edward's joining in your life, as well as the gift of helping him to move on.

 Quote: Becky Shilling

This is the time she must put aside her own wants and think about her girl's feelings. Spend a day feeding her favorite tidbits and just loving on her. Try to keep your own emotions in check to avoid upsetting the dog. Have a good day together and then do her the favor of helping her pass from this world. It is the hardest part of being a dog owner, but it's also our greatest responsibility.

So well said Becky.
I too, believe it is our greatest responsibility to give the dog the ability to avoid pain and suffering.
It is the hardest thing we ever do, but the greatest gift of all allow the dog to pass away with dignity, without suffering.
Please know we are with you.

Remember that this is not something you are doing to her, it is something you are doing for her. A peaceful end surrounded by the ones who loved her so dearly in life is the most wonderful gift you can give.

I would also suggest finding a way to memorialize and celebrate her dog's life, just as you would a human loved one.

We have funerals, complete with flowers and a little eulogy and then plant a tree or a shrub in their honor. Nico, my old girl will get a Peony bush.

There are cremation options where you get back your individual dog, in a lovely wooden box with a plaque.

I second the making it a special last day, but I also think that if she can do something "in memory" of her pet before the pet goes or even after, it may help her to focus on the good memories.

My mother in law wanted to have her 150lb Rottie cremated. So we had a box built that would fit the ashes and ordered her a beautiful Rottie figurine thingy and had it put onto the box. The Rottie was in her dogs fave position - flat as a pancake on the floor.

For me, I am eiher going to have stars named after my dogs when they pass or make a donation to a wildlife fund or shelter in their name, and I am always going to have a picture of them on the wall. (I'm not a keep the ashes person)

A friends mastiff passed away completely suddenly and unexpectedly. He was healthy and fit one day, passed from heart attack the next. We had her favorite picture of him framed to hang on her wall with an inscription of his name on a little plaque on the frame.

Another Friend, after loosing her cat of 22 years, went and made a donation in her pets name. She knew she was not ready to have another cat, but she said she wanted to be able to help any little way she could.

Sometimes doing these little things can help someone through these hard times.

I bury their collar or halter (It is not permitted to bury animals on Quebec farms). I am luck to have a farm I keep them in a nice quiet place.

We had Maggie cremated and will be planting a tree with her ashes