Enjoy.

"Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant?

So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I wakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say."

That was a funny story! Gotta remember this one to pass on.

I can totally see Barbara doing this.......


I do almost the same thing at PetCo when someone asks me what kind of dog Fetz is - I often answer: "He's a Bulgarian Flugel Hound".
And once, just once, this guy turned to his wife and said: "See? that's what I thought he was" and proudly walked off......
I laughed for so long that my stomach muscles actually hurt.....

"See? that's what I thought he was"


AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA


By the way, do the clerks warn you about RMBs giving your dog(s) "blood lust"?

 Quote: connie sutherland

By the way, do the clerks warn you about RMBs giving your dog(s) "blood lust"?

No, it's usually:

Well-meaning but clueless clerk: "Oh, he's so handsome! Can I give him a cookie?"
Me: "No, he'll take your hand off"
Clerk: "ohhhhhh......."

 Quote: connie sutherland

By the way, do the clerks warn you about RMBs giving your dog(s) "blood lust"?

While helping a friend harvest some turkeys in Nov., anther man there was shocked when I asked for the necks/etc... for the dogs. In all seriousness he said "You don't want to do that - really!" When I asked why - "because it will make them blood thirsty and they will be far more likely to attack someone!" I just looked at Doug and said "THAT must explain what happened to the poor FedEx guy!" The man did not think I was nearly as entertaining as I found myself to be...

"ohhhhhhhh"

I LOL.

Out loud.

LMAO!!

LOL, love it

THat was FUNNY