A little bit of background first. Almost 3 years ago my Father in Law passed away leaving behind his 8 year old female rat terrier. This dog was a one man dog. My FIL ran his own scrap business so the dog literally went everywhere with my FIL. The dog was treated like she was queen. My husband and I, childless at the time, took the dog in. My thoughts at the time were the dog was going to be an outside dog only. I never grew up with a dog and am not a fan of house dogs. That worked with my husband until the first winter who didn't even want to leave the dog in the garage. She came in, and I haven't been able to get her or my husband to leave her outside when he is home. Fast forward to now. We have two little girls. A 20 month old and a 5 month old. The dog has always barked at everyone even at me and only likes my husband. When our oldest child started walking the dog often would growl and bark at her. She is constantly going and so curious about the dog. My husband has let her pet the dog, but when he was holding her. The dog hated it. She now has been snapped at biting her three times because our daughter wants to be where the dog is. I told my husband we needed to do something with the dog, because she is not safe. She is 11 years old now. I don't think she can be trained and I don't think my husband is willing to try and train her even if she was. I would prefer to have her put to sleep, because I couldn't stand to see her bite or attack someone else. I told my husband if he wasn't willing to get rid of the dog the kids and I would have to leave. He said fine. He's not getting rid of the dog. I don't think it's fair to have to take my kids away from their home though. The dog is outside away from my children all day when I am home with them, however my husband always lets her inside when he gets home. He says he will keep them seperated, putting the dog in the basement, but he doesn't always do that. When she is in the basement she deffecates down there around the kids toys. I am so fed up with her. I am now scheming of ways to get rid of her without my husband knowing I got rid of her. She's never tried to run away, and don't know if I could get away with she ran away. Can someone help me with ideas to get my husband to realize the dog needs to go. I tried sending him an email with kids and dog bite pictures and articles (including your web site) and nothing changed. I just made him madder. I need help, because I don't want to have to leave my home. Thanks so much. Sorry for the long post about this.

Cindy,

I can tell you're frustrated. But you've joined a web forum where we actually like dogs and think their welfare and humane treatment is important. You're not going to get a lot of sympathy here.

It breaks my heart that this little dog was so loved for the first 8 years of her life by your father-in-law, and this is where she's ended up.

Are there any rescue organizations or no-kill shelters that you can turn to in your area? Can you re-home the dog with someone without kids that would provide her a decent home?

I don't know of any shelters that will take her or no kill shelters in the area. I know that I probably won't get a lot of sympathy, however My first and foremost priority is keeping my kids safe in their home. The dog can not live in my home and keep them safe at the same time. My MIL (my FIL's ex wife) has talked to a few people who knew him and the dog and no one is willing to take her because she has bitten kids. I don't think she will be able to placed with someone she didn't know without it breaking her heart. My husband's sister doesn't want to see her put to sleep either, but has her own dog and none of us think the two would get along. I am looking for any ideas of how to convince my husband that the kids should be his first priorty too.

Wow.

"She is 11 years old now. I don't think she can be trained and I don't think my husband is willing to try and train her even if she was."

Everything you list is handler error and/or lack or training and desensitizing and management. She can certainly, no question at all, be trained.

But not where she is.

PLEASE, for the sake of the dog and your entire family, rehome this dog with someone who has dog experience (and no kids, at this point).

I would start looking for rescues in your area.


You must get it across to your husband that this dog is being done NO FAVORS by keeping her in this family.

Please tell him that YES, the dog has to go -- for the dog's sake. He cannot possibly provide the structure and training and bonding to make up for the other 2/3 or more of her life. He has also completely failed to step up and train, manage, and desensitize the dog.

This little senior deserves a chance to live the rest of her life in a better situation than this. (You need to live in a dog-free home, too.)

The dog had her world turned upside down. And then instead of having a person to be bonded with and go everywhere with, she was isolated from most human interaction. It's a pretty sad situation for this poor dog. In all fairness to the dog and your husband, you probably could have made this work by integrating the dog into your lives before you had kids.

The dog is your husband's link to his father so his stance is understandable. He probably wants to keep her out of loyalty to his father.

But you're right that there is an issue with the children. And you don't want them to get bit. Have you sat down and asked your husband what kind of a solution would work for him? Do you know a a single senior that may be happy to take the dog? That might be your best win/win situation and provide a person and the dog both with some much needed companionship.

 Quote: Tracy Collins

Cindy,

I can tell you're frustrated. But you've joined a web forum where we actually like dogs and think their welfare and humane treatment is important. You're not going to get a lot of sympathy here.

It breaks my heart that this little dog was so loved for the first 8 years of her life by your father-in-law, and this is where she's ended up.

Are there any rescue organizations or no-kill shelters that you can turn to in your area? Can you re-home the dog with someone without kids that would provide her a decent home?

Cindy,

This is very sad. Have you considered that this dog is a connection to your husband's father? I could never PTS my parent's dog, or rehome him.

" I am looking for any ideas of how to convince my husband that the kids should be his first priority"

As an advocate for this dog, I am telling him that no one, the dog most of all, benefits from this stressful, unmanaged, anxiety-filled situation.

I would suggest that he join here and learn how to train and manage the dog, but I can't conceive it happening in the atmsphere you describe.

"Do you know a a single senior that may be happy to take the dog? That might be your best win/win situation and provide a person and the dog both with some much needed companionship." Ditto.

Clearly your children are and should be your first priority--I'd never argue that point. I imagine your husband feels the same way.

But it's not right to think of this little dog as a thing to be gotten rid of, especially the way you're describing it. Schemeing to get rid of her and pretend she ran away?

This isn't a marraige counseling site. But you may get some ideas from people on ways to rehome the dog, or ways to manage her that will limit the interaction with your kids.

Where generally are you located? Heck, I'll go on the web and research rescue organizations in your area for you.

I can not think of a more tactful way of putting this but have you considered marriage counseling?

I suspect that there is a possibility that the situation with the dog is a symptom and not the cause of a major problem in your relationship.

It is very possible to keep the dog and your kids safe. The only problem is that you would want to do so and I don't think you do at this point.

I do believe that the situation and the not being willing to do anything with the dog is out of some loyalty to his father. I however can not let that be a reason for the dog to stay. I believe firmly that the next time the dog bites could be worse than having to treat the bite with some bandaids and antiobiotic ointment. We had the dog for almost 1 1/2 years before we had children and she would bark and growl at me and barely tolerated me no matter what I tried to do to get her to like me. (she never got along with anyone-my family or his) My husband does many things with the dog (pre kids) but since kids have been around it gets harder and harder to spend time with the dog since the kids and the dog can't be together. I understand that it would be hard to PTS or rehome the dog, but can I really just let her stay out of loyalty and pray to god that she doesn't attack my children and or kill one of them.