A lot of you know that my heart dog, my white German Shepherd Kingster, is getting up there. He turned 12 on Valentines day.

Most of his days are still good but his bad days are coming a little bit closer and lasting a little bit longer. I know each day is a blessing. He is still doing the things that when he stops I know it will be time.

I found a mobile vet and talked to him. He's only a part time mobile vet but I feel comfortable that when that day comes I will be able to have him complete this journey and start the next one at the home that he loves surrounded by the people and animals that love him.

I take comfort in this.

I told my husband thinking he would also. Well, you would of thought I had just signed his execution order and was having him escorted to death row or something....

Not the response I expected.

So the next day I'm talking to a male dog friend I told him about the conversation and expected some support.

Not the response I received.

He was pretty much on board with my husband but might of been even a little more blunt.


I know when it's time I will have to be the strong one and I will have to make the decision that we all hate to make. I know that there is a possibility my husband may not agree with me 100 percent.

I'm okay with that for the most part.

So in the households with more then one two legged resident do you find the same type of situation? Is there one of you that has to be the strong person and do the right thing no matter how much it hurts? Or is it more equally divided?

Gez, I don't know if it is so much a guy thing.? Hard to say for me. My first thought was, I just wonder if you caught him off guard or it was unexpected to your husband.

You know, you are thinking about something in your mind for a little while and reconciling the thoughts in your own head.
When you mentioned it, maybe he was just not in that place of thoughtfulness and instead it scared him a bit to think about it?

I remember back once when my own father who had heart disease and he survived a cardiac arrest. He had bi-pass surgery and it was about a year later...
One day I was giving him a haircut and out of nowhere, he said to me " The Doctor doesn't think my heart is any better than before the surgery."

When I heard him say that to me, it took me aback and scared me at the thought of my dad not being well and potentially dying.
He was trying to prepare me for the fact that his heart wasn't in good shape.

It took me a bit of time to come to grips with what he said.
Not that you can really prepare yourself for that awful day,
but I did try to come to terms with it.

That was all you were doing and I admire you for it. I just think that he may have been caught off guard...


I have suffered some very painful losses in my life. It hurts like hell, but we have no choice but to accept the circle of life. But in the case of my mom, she fought the truth for a long time and was in denial about my father's condition.

I think it is a very individual thing, but not sure I think it is a guy thing at all. Just my 2 cents.

It's opposite here.

I've always been the one that makes that decision about the dogs and the wife has always supported whatever I decide.
When we first got married we agreed that I would make all the serious decisions and she would make all the minor decisions. After almost 45 yrs of marrage the dogs have been the only serious decision I've had to make.......Hmmmmmmm! DAMN!

You might be right Joyce, I may of caught him off guard.

And I know in some ways I've been preparing myself to say good bye to my baby boy so that when he needs me I will be strong for him.

Betty, my heart goes out to you.

I don't know if it is a guy v. gal thing, but I believe it takes exceptional awareness, compassion and strength to recognize the diminished quality of life and set a beloved dog free. Most of us hang on for our own selfish reasons.

Ed wrote a great article years ago. Perhaps, it will help both you and your husband:

http://leerburg.com/pdf/PuttingYourDogToSleep.pdf

Betty, with my last boy, my heart dog, I wasn't as strong as you are. We were well over the good days and I just couldn't bring myself to think about it, until I read Mr. Snyder's tribute to his Dallas. It seemed much like our situation, right at that time and was actually quite comforting to read.

We both knew he was ailing fast and badly and all it would take was either of us to say "it's time" and he would no longer be with us. We both never really thought about the preparation that can go into that day to truly make it a celebration and the best gift ever.

Once "we" started preparing, we then had each other to be the strong one when the other was flailing and it did end up much more equally divided.

We needed a back hoe and he did the calling around to see if he could find a mobile vet. Once he did this part, he was open to anything else I wanted to plan and dove with a ton of support.

If it was a matter of me just bringing it up, all prepared, yeah, I think the first response could have been a bit cold.

I also agree very much with what Joyce has said.

Aww Betty, thoughts are with you.

Betty my thoughts and prayers are with you and your boy.

As far as is it a guy thing it would depend on the guy, for me it's not.

I think it's incredible that your planning on a Mobil Vet to come to the house so your boy can complete his journey in a place he knows, surrounded by everyone who love him, where he is comfortable with his surroundings, on his favorite bed or blanky, awesome.
That is the way I want it also.

In our house I think there will be a mutual understanding that that time has come, more or less equally divided but there still will have to be one of us being the stronger one.

Not sure that will make sense to anyone.

Nancy thanks for the article now I have a massive lump in my throat.

I think sometimes women make some hard and unpopular decisions with a heavy heart, but a practical head.

When our ancient old Pointer started losing the strength in his legs and started collapsing in the garden while trying to relieve himself, I ran up the garden and when I saw the look in his eyes, I knew the time had come, he just looked so sad.

I was the bad guy with my lot for a while, but I knew how miserable he was, he was my ex husbands dog, and he took him to the vet when I made the appointment, when we had lifted him into the car, I stroked his grey face and said goodbye, that he was a good and lovely boy, and we would miss him every day.

I would have preferred to have him go to sleep at home, but he wasn't my dog, so it wasn't up to me.

I knew I had made the right decision, and I knew the ex would have kept him alive for all the wrong reasons, Toby had reached the good age of 14, and I felt he had earned the right to a peaceful and painless death, after a full and happy life.

Betty, I applaud your practical approach to a painful, but necessary decision.