family with new dog coming for a visit- questions
#363935 - 07/13/2012 09:59 AM |
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Some family members are coming to visit in a month and plan to bring their new (recently adopted from another elderly family member) dog with them. They'll be staying for an extended weekend. I have two dogs, one may be friendly towards other dogs- never tried it; the other is not friendly and probably will never be. I feel like the best way to handle the weekend is to rotate dogs so that none are out at the same time, even though my two coexist fairly well (I'm guessing the added stress of having a strange dog around may be hard on them). I have a crate, a fenced back yard, and we can take multiple walks to keep everybody tired and hopefully happy... I've read Ed's article on introducing new dogs, but am pretty sure that process can't happen in a weekend and don't intend to pursue it for that reason.
My questions are, does it matter if the dogs see each other- say from crate to hallway, or in-house to back yard? I'm also a little worried that one of my dogs (the definitely unfriendly one) will attempt to mark in the house based on new dog smell. Any thoughts on reinforcing good housetraining habits and preventing marking? Last, does it matter if the dogs have a shared water bowl outside for whichever dog is out at the moment? Can't think of any reason why not, just curious.
Just as an FYI, the dog I'm referring to as "definitely un-friendly" is generally nervous and tends to react aggressively to loose dogs on our walks (although this has gotten much better over time). We have also been charged by strays two or three times where the stray got very close and there was snapping involved. I am just assuming that he will be aggressive and just don't ever intend to try it out...
Thanks in advance for any thoughts or suggestions-
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Re: family with new dog coming for a visit- questions
[Re: Carolyn Pike Roman ]
#363936 - 07/13/2012 10:14 AM |
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Is it absolutely necessary that these family members bring their dog? I would think the best option would be to have them board it in a trusted kennel for the few days they're gone. We never let friends or family members bring their pets to our house. Not an option. It messes up the dynamics of our pack and it's not worth it.
Bailey |
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Re: family with new dog coming for a visit- questions
[Re: Carolyn Pike Roman ]
#363939 - 07/13/2012 12:13 PM |
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It's a tricky one, I have had to tell my sister not to bring her foul, ill mannered and yappy brat to visit anymore, the Pointers think he is a squeaky rat and want to shake him, and the Boerboels hate him because he is just too damn much of a nuisance, we tried it a couple of times, and it was miserable for my lot, I am also getting to the point where I am going to have to decline puppy sitting duties with my son's young dog, who is very sweet and happy go lucky, but as he gets older, he is bugging the bejesus out of the bitches, and they are giving the 'back off' warning, which tells me he is wearing out his welcome.
Bottom line, it is your home, and your dogs shouldn't have to put up with their routine being disturbed, it will put you on edge, and if there is a scrap, and their dog gets hurt, it will cause bad feeling between you all.
Maybe they could stay near by in a dog friendly hotel, or if they must bring him, make sure they understand he has to be crated out of the way of your dogs, and fed and exercised separately.
You are within your rights to be firm about it, and if you put it in a way that they understand you are thinking solely of her dog as well as your own, they shouldn't take offense.
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Re: family with new dog coming for a visit- questions
[Re: Carolyn Pike Roman ]
#363941 - 07/13/2012 12:45 PM |
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Carolyn;
These relatives will definitely see your trepidation if you have to take the steps you describe. This could possibly make them self-conscious and a bit uncomfortable. Rather than wait until they see for themselves, have you considered telling them about how your dogs might react? They might have an alternate remedy or suggestion to help the situation.
This may sound crude and pbly is not the approach for you, but when discussing dogs with my family and friends, I am pretty blunt about my dog's non-tolerance of other dogs. Initially they look at me like Dr. Frankenstein, but they still come over; they just don't bring their dogs. I've never had to ask them not to.
Sadie |
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Re: family with new dog coming for a visit- questions
[Re: Duane Hull ]
#363942 - 07/13/2012 01:14 PM |
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Besides being calmly blunt, I always include in my conversation the unfairness to their dog of being placed in a situation of probable anxiety, possible fear, as Tracey mentioned.
This senior in question, recently adopted ..... he doesn't need any new stress.
This " I feel like the best way to handle the weekend is to rotate dogs so that none are out at the same time" would be my absolute minimum, and I have reservations about even this, with the dogs you describe.
If I ran into an attitude of "Oh, they'll be fine; they'll work it out," when broaching the topic, then I would immediately switch my planned talk. Because those people are, IME, persistent, laughing off the rules, "showing you" how silly you are.
Are the people on the same page as you? Do they get it?
PS
I've read Ed's article on introducing new dogs, but am pretty sure that process can't happen in a weekend and don't intend to pursue it for that reason.
You are correct, of course.
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Re: family with new dog coming for a visit- questions
[Re: Carolyn Pike Roman ]
#363943 - 07/13/2012 01:17 PM |
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I like others here wouldn't risk the possible disaster, but maybe I'm overly cautious, I would check boarding facilities.
You wrote "one may be friendly towards other dogs- never tried it" for me it wouldn't be the time or place to test that and
" the other is not friendly and probably will never be" sounds like a definite no to me.
Wadd
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Re: family with new dog coming for a visit- questions
[Re: Carolyn Pike Roman ]
#363944 - 07/13/2012 01:33 PM |
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Thanks for the comments so far, all.
It is not absolutely necessary that they bring their dog, but prior to them adopting her I would take my two (and their crates and paraphernalia) to their house and they dealt with it... I guess if I thought their dog was the problem I would suggest they leave her at home, but since it's mine that seem to be trouble I'd like to try and make it work. In addition, I expect to have future travels back and forth, and it would be nice to work out a system.
I'd like to think of this weekend trip as a trial and be as positive and careful as possible. We have discussed the proposed visit a few times already, and they've met my dogs before and seen some of their hangups... I plan to have at least one more conversation with them about keeping them separate at all times before we get there.
Maybe I could also ask for input from folks who are foster families and deal with some of these short term new dog concerns?
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Re: family with new dog coming for a visit- questions
[Re: Carolyn Pike Roman ]
#363945 - 07/13/2012 01:45 PM |
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Also wanted to clarify that the other dog is not senior, but was adopted from a senior (my great aunt who is no longer as mobile as she used to be). Their dog is around 4-5.
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Re: family with new dog coming for a visit- questions
[Re: Carolyn Pike Roman ]
#363948 - 07/13/2012 03:11 PM |
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How long are your visitors planning to visit?
I ask because inconvenience ramps up to other negative places by the day. A few days - you can make do and put 'barriers' in place.
A few weeks... Ooooh.
You mentioned your relatives endured your dogs when you visited...
My daughter would visit with her two dogs, and at the time I had three - now, that's a bunch of dogs in a house. And naturally, there were issues that we had to manage. So, we candidly discussed what we needed to do to keep some tranquility.
I wanted my daughter to visit, obviously. In the end you work out stuff for family.
Physically, you keep them apart if you even think there will be nose to nose issues. You aren't trying to make them new best friends.
It is easy to say tell them to board the dog but it begs the realities of family stuff. Your responsibility is to manage your dogs' safety. Consider what do you have to do to minimally disrupt your dogs' routines and at the same time welcome your family members and their dogs?
The dogs don't have to eat together, so there may have to be a space where the dogs can be eat apart, or run shifts.
I don't envy you but if you don't want to tell your relatives to leave the dog home or board the dog or make some other arrangements, you are stuck with creating a 'kennel' of sorts that manages the proximity of all the dogs. And you can make some rules.
It is fair, and smart, to discuss with your relatives that you want to be prepared, in case there are any dog issues, and how you want to organize your home to welcome them and manage all of the dog interactions or not.
Big smile. A shoulder shrug. With proper prior planning and communication, you can manage the visit.
Mike A.
"I wouldn't touch that dog, son. He don't take to pettin." Hondo, played by John Wayne |
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Re: family with new dog coming for a visit- questions
[Re: Mike Arnold ]
#363953 - 07/13/2012 04:52 PM |
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Carolyn, you're talking about a few days, right, not a few weeks or a few months? Under those circumstances, I would probably do exactly what you proposed in your OP. Of course, I don't know anything about your family dynamics or the personalities and temperaments of either the dogs or the humans involved here, but it sounds like you have a careful and reasonable plan in place that should be doable as long as all the humans involved are cooperating.
I guess there are only a few scenarios where I would ask them not to bring their dog, and that would be if their dog is known to be aggressive or ill-mannered, or if the logistics of keeping the dogs separated is going to be a genuine hardship (you have a really small house, for example).
I would also want to be sure the visitors in question know in advance that this is not going to be some kind of slumber party, free-for-all, with the dogs all playing together. I assume you've already had that talk with them and they are aware of the precautions you plan to take.
Bottom line is I am all in favor of making accommodations for family, especially family you wish to remain on good terms with.
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