We adopted a 4 yr old male golden retriever almost 3 weeks ago. His owner was a young man who was in the air force and got shipped over seas. He knew he would be gone a while and had no one to take his dog so we did. He is a very sweet dog - really well mannered, super mellow and calm, great with my 2 young grandkids. I'm going to train him for therapy dog work as he has the perfect temperament. But he's also very stoic, for lack of a better word. He doesn't know how to play with toys (or he doesn't care to), he loves to cuddle with you if you call him over but he doesn't initiate it on his own. He will just lay on his bed a lot of the day if you aren't engaging him in some way. He does love to do his training sessions and that makes him wag his tail more than anything else, but in between he stays to himself unless you call him.

I would think he's depressed except that his previous owner said he was the same way with him - didn't play with toys, chew on dog chews, etc. He loves to go for walks and the vet says he seems fine physically, so I don't think he's sick or anything like that. He's just quiet and not pushy.

His past is a mystery to us for his first 2 years - he was taken to a shelter when he was 2, and the air force guy adopted him from there. So we don't know what his first 2 impressionable years were like. But obviously it doesn't seem like they were happy ones

This is our first adult dog adoption/rescue so we are wondering if there are things we could do to encourage him to engage more, or if we should just let him be by himself as he chooses? (He does want to go with us if we head for the car though). I'm just trying to figure out if this is going to be who he is, or if we should do things to help him be more engaged. He's been away from his previous guy for 5 weeks now - he was in foster for 2 before we got him.

Any thoughts?

Lori,

Good for you for taking in the dog. If I understand it, the dog has been through at least five 'homes' in its life.

The good news, in my opinion, it seems to have become a good, though quiet dog.

It will take time but I think it will become more animated the more it is gently engaged. If treats work, slowly try to get treats to motivate some object playing.

In the house randomly engage the dog in a minute or two of spontaneous training, like come, down, go, place, etc., all followed by abundant excited praise, lots of touching, and maybe a treat, if that works.

You've only had the dog for a few weeks. It is probably trying to acclimate itself to its' new environs. A lot of bonding to catch up on. Patience and persistent gentle encouragement will probably yield results.

And it may just be that the dog is a great companion but isn't into the enthusiastic side of dog stuff. A good and faithful companion is a wonderful thing, in my opinion.

Good on you for taking the dog in.

Mike

Mike, thank you for the encouragement! I was thinking along those lines but wanted some thoughts from someone who's been here. We are the 3rd home that we know of - first 2 years we don't know his history since he ended up in a San Diego shelter at the age of 2, then the air force guy took him from there for 2 years, then us.

I like the idea of frequent short one minute training sessions to get him to engage more often - that sounds better than several longer ones. It's funny because I have been trying to do the '100 things to do with a box' game with him (everything they do to a box you place on the floor, even if it's just sniffing it, gets clicked) and he's so clueless! He finally does put his nose on it, but if you wait for a different behavior he just lays down and looks at you! Hopefully he'll start to come out of his shell as he's here longer and understands the positive reinforcement training better.

I do love that he's calm and mellow so I'm counting my blessings!

Good afternoon Lori,

Everything takes time. Some dogs really seek interaction, and almost demand training and exercise games. Others are more placid and need a gentle, low key approach to coaxing out their personality. And some are just nice, forgiving dogs that are grateful to be in a safe place. And all kinds in between.

I think trust has much to do with how a dog acts and responds. Initially most of the rescues through here have an almost look of wait and see. And I wonder what this guy is all about. For some it takes time to get them to want to be with you, where they seem to be alert to your presence, and more and more seek proximity.

In truth, it does just take time, and the willingness to be satisfied with the personality of the dog. For my part, I just like the dog and dogs for what they are. Some are challenges, some are endearing, some are frustrating at first but we seem to adapt to each other.

Sometimes just doing the basics, like a walk with a few behaviors like sit, down, walk, stop, heel gently worked as the walk progresses yields an animation. A walk introduces the dog to its' environs, smells, trees, sounds, and other stimulating stuff. It can be a confidence builder. It feels your confidence and draws on it, I think.

I am a fan of people who open their home to a dog, or any creatureen in need.

Good on you.

Mike, we have definitely been using walks for bonding - walks are one of the few times he shows excitement

Thank you for saying "it takes time, and the willingness to to be satisfied with the personality of the dog". Part of me wanted him to be like Kasey, my heart dog that we had to put to sleep a year ago. In some ways he is like Kasey - the affection and wanting to lay in your lap when you're on the floor - but in other ways he's so different of course. Hearing you say to be satisfied with his personality really hit home. It helped me to just be able to sit back and let him be who he is.

I was thinking along the same line, that this is something that will take time, much more time. Your new dog has been through a lot of changes in his short life, and as you said, you have no idea what his first couple of formative years were like. Mike's two posts above offer excellent observations, and I know he speaks from lots of experience in integrating adopted dogs into his family.

My experience is from the other side of the coin, so to speak, as someone who works with a rescue to help place dogs into their adoptive homes. There are the rare exceptions, dogs who just adapt quickly to any change, and fit right into their foster homes first and then their new permanent homes. The majority of dogs, though, take time to adjust with each new change. There's no hard-and-fast rule about how long it will take. It can vary greatly from dog to dog.

You describe a wonderful dog! You say he is a very sweet dog, really well-mannered, super mellow and calm, great with kids, perfect temperament, affectionate, loves to cuddle, loves his training sessions, loves to go for walks and car rides. Sounds like you hit the jackpot with this guy!

Maybe, as time goes by, and with gentle encouragement on your part, he will learn to enjoy playing and being more interactive with you. Or, it could be that he just has a quieter, more reserved personality. Your wish for him to be like Kasey is totally understandable, but I think the longer he is with you, the more you will appreciate him for the unique individual he is.

Congratulations on your new family member, and I'm sure his previous owner, who is off to serve our country overseas, is relieved to know his dog got such a great home.

 Quote: Cheri Grissom

I was thinking along the same line, that this is something that will take time, much more time. Your new dog has been through a lot of changes in his short life, and as you said, you have no idea what his first couple of formative years were like. Mike's two posts above offer excellent observations, and I know he speaks from lots of experience in integrating adopted dogs into his family.

My experience is from the other side of the coin, so to speak, as someone who works with a rescue to help place dogs into their adoptive homes. There are the rare exceptions, dogs who just adapt quickly to any change, and fit right into their foster homes first and then their new permanent homes. The majority of dogs, though, take time to adjust with each new change. There's no hard-and-fast rule about how long it will take. It can vary greatly from dog to dog.

You describe a wonderful dog! You say he is a very sweet dog, really well-mannered, super mellow and calm, great with kids, perfect temperament, affectionate, loves to cuddle, loves his training sessions, loves to go for walks and car rides. Sounds like you hit the jackpot with this guy!

Maybe, as time goes by, and with gentle encouragement on your part, he will learn to enjoy playing and being more interactive with you. Or, it could be that he just has a quieter, more reserved personality. Your wish for him to be like Kasey is totally understandable, but I think the longer he is with you, the more you will appreciate him for the unique individual he is.

Congratulations on your new family member, and I'm sure his previous owner, who is off to serve our country overseas, is relieved to know his dog got such a great home.

Cheri, we did hit the jackpot with him. I also volunteer for a rescue here and there are VERY few dogs like him that come up for adoption - and when there is one, there is a long line of applicants. This was a very unusual case where a friend of mine that works with a rescue 100 miles south of us, found out about this dog and put in a really good word for us. The young man wanted assurances that his dog would have a great home so they were being real picky for him. The rescue took our friends word for it and called and us to say they would put us at the top of the list if we wanted to drive down and meet him. It was a miracle to end up with him and we are grateful for the opportunity to care for this dog for someone defending our country. That's why I want to try and do therapy work with him, so we can give back like this man is for us. Reggie seems to enjoy going up to people so we'll see how he does.

Thank you for your post - it's encouraging to hear that it just takes time.

You mean all dogs don't spring to their feet and bolt to the door every time you get up from the couch? They don't all try to herd you when they hear keys rattle, or spin like the Tasmanian devil if you even look at a leash? Don't they all stick their wet nose in your face if you so much as rest your head for a quick catnap?

 Quote: Duane Hull

You mean all dogs don't spring to their feet and bolt to the door every time you get up from the couch? They don't all try to herd you when they hear keys rattle, or spin like the Tasmanian devil if you even look at a leash? Don't they all stick their wet nose in your face if you so much as rest your head for a quick catnap?

HA! That is how Kasey, our dog we lost last year, was for sure! Reggie is very interested when he hears the leash, but not to the Tasmanian Devil level!

Yes, the poor guy has actually lived in 5 different "homes" -- Three human households & two separate animal shelter stays ... No wonder he's reserved when it comes to initiating interactions, but I agree with the other posters that TIME and maybe Many Months of it, will likely demonstrate more of his personality God bless you for taking him in with lots of Love Forever, Lori !!! (And since most retriever breeds do have an inbred "play fetch gene", even if it's suppressed for some reason, that's one big way I would work on Engaging him.)