This ones for you Will. A vaulabe dog training lesson.

When I decided to embark on my career in the canine world I thought my years of college would prepare me for all canine situations. But as with all career fields what they teach you in the classroom is never the case in real life. As hard as I have looked nothing in my academics mentions what to do when the puppy you’re trying to train apparently was a perverted clothes thief in his past life. As I basked in the sun on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, in the privacy or what I thought was the privacy of my own home I thought it might be a good idea to pretend I was Darryl Hanna before she grew a tail in the movie Splash, if you get my drift. For some reason I have had this rather weird desire to do this since the day that wonderful pool crew put that big bathtub in my backyard. So for the first time the kids were gone off doing kid things, and the husband, he was doing some guy thing, probably out burping and farting somewhere with his “buddy’s”. So here I am alone, finally. Just me and OLE’ Maggie Mae hanging at the pool.

It finally happened, the perfect opportunity to act on my desire. I stacked my suit and towel in a nice neat little pile and went on my way, feeling a bit like a fish in water without the gills, happy as a Georgia peach. I swam keeping an ear out for any family intruders who might ruin my frolic in the pool. After being completely satisfied and thinking if my family knew what I was doing, would think I certainly lost my mind, it was time for me to get out of the pool. However, there was a little problem. My nice neat little pile consisting of the only clothing I brought out along with my towel was now strewed across the backyard, while the little black furry thing methodically chewed away at the strings. My nice relaxing fun in the sun now turned into the day from down below. Using my brain power and to resolve this issue and knowing the pup is only 4 months old, “bring it here” was not really an option. Adding to that the neighbor who decided after 2 months today was the day to mow his lawn. Now let me point out, in my above ground pool with decking, you can be a fish, provided that you remove the human gills while your IN THE POOL. Nobody can see you this way, at least that was my plan. So now I am stuck in the pool, nobody’s home, remember I planned it that way, and the dog is eating my bathing suit for an afternoon snack, and bubba next door is mowing his lawn. So I did the only thing I could do, I waited it out. Eventually he went back in the house. By this time I’m shriveled up like a prune on an old lady’s plate but I can make a break for it. With the lounge chair in front of me, it was the best I could do. I slowly crept over to Maggie and politely ask for what’s left of my suit. Normally she is happy to bring me things, but no, not this time. With the speed of a greyhound she ran off with not only my suit, but she took the towel too. So here I am chasing the dog around, wrapped in a lounge chair. With equal speed and desperateness nipping at my toes I run after her, slipping in the I am sure of it, the only pile of dog crap within an acre radius. Beaten by a 4 month old puppy, I head back for the house, ditching the lounge chair along the way, not caring who see’s me I am covered in dog poop, I am still in prune stage, and I am swearing never to do this again, I hear the voice. The one that will stick with me for the rest of my life. The voice of my husband, “Hey are you looking for this?” Maggie happily brought my items to him. And the moral of the story is? If your going to pretend like you’re a fish, keep your gills on when the dogs around.


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photos to follow ?

Wait it out! No way! You should have climbed outta the pool with confidence and made Bubba's day! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Yeah, photos to follow, the perfect Miss America picture: a middle aged, shriveled up, women covered in dog crap, thats definelty one for the picture books there!!! It wasn't my intention to scare the neighbors!! Get out of the pool!! His wife as more tattoos than a Navy Seal, she probebly would have scaled that fence and kicked my butt, for "flashing her man"!!! I might add that my husband still isn't speakin' to me..he told me my fish swimming days are over!

DAR,
You made my *week* with that post! I laughed so hard I think I hurt myself! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

The good news is, dogs will invent entirely new ways to make us trainers look like fools at least weekly.
I actually had a T shirt with the phrase " My dog never did that before" ( a classic phrase that you hear at shows/trials all the time ) printed in German. It never failed to make the german judges smile when they read it.

Glad to make you laugh Will, and thanks again...

That was a really good, funny story !!