I received this reply which hit the nail on the head for me and I will elaborate under this response :

 Quote: Lois Miller

As a family therapist for many years, I saw this sort of behavior from children who were struggling with some of the issues related to blended families. This may or may not be the case with your step daughter, but thought I might add this advice if it fits.

Many times children dont have the communication skills needed to express their feelings and will commonly act out in passive aggressive ways to get the attention they crave.

My suggestion would be to follow the great advice that has been given regarding getting your step daughter 'on board' with proper care and treatment of your pup, but also possibly spend some one on one quality time with her helping her to realize that she too is important, cherished and loved. Maybe this time together will also help her to be able to communicate with you in more healthy ways exactly what her potential concerns, fears or insecurities might be.

Good luck to you and your family.

Hi, I just wanted to say thanks to everyone that responded to my vent about my pup especially Lois Miller you hit the nail on the head with your response and although I have spoken to her father and mother both about the attention seeking behavior they choose to ignore it and it just gradually gets worse and worse.

I spend hours upon hours with my step-daughter, when she is here I wake up with her, bath her, feed her, make sure she's dressed, brushes her teeth, etc, etc and I also make sure she knows that she is loved and is important and I believe she knows she is but she's not dumb and has caught on to the fact that she can get attention by acting this way.

I agree with everyone I do have the chance to shape her ideas about how animals should be handled and that this is a great opportunity for responsibility and a little direction BUT we only have her 4 days out of the month and it is hard to teach and change a behavior in that amount of time, believe me I have tried. This is the reason I don't allow her around my pup, I try to sit her down, give her a toy and tell her if she wants to play with Sadie throw her toy and let her bring it back, that works for about 5 seconds and the minute I turn my back she's doing exactly what I told her not to, it's like getting negative attention is etched in her brain. The pushing and shoving my pup and letting her bite turned into a big problem because it started her chewing on everything and my step-daughter thinks its a joke.

My step-daughters mom is allergic to animals so they don't have any but her grandmother does, she has cats and there were many times my step-daughter showed up down here with her hands and arms just covered in scratches from these cats and their kittens, the issue was my step-daughter didn't think this was at all wrong, who lets their child handle an animal in such a fashion that it causes this much damage, we actually took pictures and confronted her mother about it, it was so bad

The issues with my step-daughter are deep and although I would love to post them I don't want to turn this into a personal topic I just really need help on teaching her how to handle my little pomeranian, I don't want a hyper spastic puppy or one that bites and chews on everything, I want a nice loving pet. I don't want to have to worry about my puppy being feed a bunch of turkey and being sick for a week, it's just ridiculous.

I spend a lot of time with my puppy, I try my best to teach her and give her proper direction but she is still in the learning phase and, like everything in this world, it seems it is easier for her to learn a bad behavior than a good one, it's been a real struggle. This also seems to be the case with my step-daughter also she sticks with the bad behavior, I spend so much time teaching her, then she goes home, and the next time she here I have to tell her all over again, how do I fix this, can I fix this with either of them, I am at my wits end and I don't feel like I have any help so please if anyone had any ideas or things I can try I would greatly appreciate it, I really, really need some direction myself, thanks

Hi Shannon,

I guess I'm just unclear on what kind of ideas and direction you are looking for. Do you need help with the relationship with your pup and stepdaughter? Or are you still having the tummy trouble?

If it is the step-daughter issue, I think you should try Connies suggestions. Also, If you only have the girl 4 days a month, than just keep the pup and your stepdaughter seperated at ALL times, when you cannot directly supervise.

If it is the tummy touble thing that is still going on, again my suggestion is to see a vet ASAP.

Very hard to be a strong influence with only 4 days of the month in which to do it.

But this: As for the gating, etc., on weekends -- the pup can be tethered to you. There is no reason why even a house-trained pup cannot be tethered to you for a weekend. This will also present dozens of excellent opportunities to demonstrate the appropriate way(s) to interact with her
should at least minimize bad interactions between the dog and the child, for the most pressing and immediate concern.

The child and the dog cannot be alone together, but tethering to you totally eliminates that possibility.

BTW, is the dog OK physically now? Diarrhea, etc., over?

Edit: Oops. I was typing while you were posting, Tracy.

Edited by Connie Sutherland (12/07/2008 06:31 PM)
Edit reason: Edit addition

Hey Everyone, I didn't post anything else about my pup being sick because since Monday she seemed fine, no vomiting, no diarrhea, she was totally back to normal but as I was sitting down to write this post she vomited and had diarrhea and it looked really strange, like it was really watery and had a whitish filmy color to it, in all my years of owning dogs I have never seen anything that looked like that, it started out brownish and kind of like pudding and has now turned into this, does anyone know what may be causing this, I am from a very small area and we unfortunately do not have an emergency vet clinic, what should I do?

 Quote: shannon dippold

Hey Everyone, I didn't post anything else about my pup being sick because since Monday she seemed fine, no vomiting, no diarrhea, she was totally back to normal but as I was sitting down to write this post she vomited and had diarrhea and it looked really strange, like it was really watery and had a whitish filmy color to it, in all my years of owning dogs I have never seen anything that looked like that, it started out brownish and kind of like pudding and has now turned into this, does anyone know what may be causing this, I am from a very small area and we unfortunately do not have an emergency vet clinic, what should I do?

What has she eaten today?

The diarrhea has whitish filmy color? (Not the vomit, right?)

Hey, another question to my above post about my pup being ill, she is litter trained and about a month ago she started burying her bones in her litter box, yuck!!! I try and catch when she does this and then wash the bones or whatever she buries off really good and give them back to her, is it possible that if I don't catch this every time and she digs them up and chews on them that the litter may be making her sick, is this possible?

Yeah the diarrhea looks like that it almost looks like chicken fat or something that is the only way I can describe it

What did she eat today?

I think I just found the answer, I got my pup this bone from Wal-Mart, it is like a big ham bone type thing and besides her food that is all she chewed on, well I just picked it up to inspect it because I saw her licking the inside of it and there is fat inside the bone a bunch of fat, like the kind that's inside of soup bones and that is exactly what this looked like, it must really not be agreeing with her and is going right threw her, is there something I can give her to settle her stomach a little bit

 Quote: shannon dippold

Hey, another question to my above post about my pup being ill, she is litter trained and about a month ago she started burying her bones in her litter box, yuck!!! I try and catch when she does this and then wash the bones or whatever she buries off really good and give them back to her, is it possible that if I don't catch this every time and she digs them up and chews on them that the litter may be making her sick, is this possible?

What bones? Recreational bones?

What did the dog eat today?