Just my own 2 cents. Reading and re-reading your post something sticks out at me. With everything that "I tried" and fail, you reinforce the bad behavior because it teaches your dog that she just needs to try harder in order to succeed with getting her way. By giving in to her demands, your teaching her persistance. Your not going to just have to re-train a bad behavior now, your going to have to re-train her to think that persistance is not going to pay off.

Doggy bed next to yours. She sleeps there. It's not a question of if she will, it's a fact that she will because it is a rule now and it must be followed. Your the leader, it's your rule. If your going to be wishy washy she will run amuck, and there will be no respect. Your dog needs black and white, and some tough love.

You can teach her that this is where you sleep. Use marker training out in a common area (living room, kitchen, whatever) to teach her that her bed is for lying down and being quiet with you in the area. Only rewards for when she is lying down and quiet. Increasing duration of lying down and quiet for a reward slowly. Move her bed to a new area, same drill, and start leaving the room for a quick second and come back, treat/reward if she is still lying down and quiet. If not, she gets to lie down and be quiet again.

Once she gets the hang of her lying in her bed and being quiet while you leave the room for a minute or two and coming back, then move her bed to your bedroom. Rinse and repeat. You can probably see where I'm going with this. When you know she understands where she is supposed to sleep, then it MUST remain consistant. She needs to start NILIF too.

From what I'm reading, I see a dog that wants her way or it's "I'm going to throw a tantrum until I get my way".

Imagine living in a world where the laws change every day, that would definitly be confusing. Imagine how confusing it is for your dog.

I agree that this sounds like more of a training issue and not SA. Since the dog's been allowed (I know sometimes it's hard not to especially when you're half or more asleep) to get away with things you'll need to be very persistent and maybe eve lose some sleep.

As far as the bed goes, it's not written in stone that a dog can never sleep with you. That's up to you really. For some dogs, I'd never allow them on the be due to the individual temperament. These are the ones that challenge your leadership every step of the way. Or the ones that are ok most of the time but will growl and even snap if made to get off the bed.

For others, I think it's up to the owner to decide the rules. If you're ok with the dog on the bed and IF it will obey your bed rules (i.e you must stay in this spot, you come up only when invited, and get off when told to), I have no problem allowing a dog on the bed.

On the other hand, if you'd prefer the dog to not be on your bed, then decide where she's to sleep. On a dog bed in your room? In another part of the house in her crate (door open since she's not destructive?), or some othr place. Then insist she sleep there even if it means a few sleepless nights while you consistently put her back or listen to her complaints.

But, as ben said, the main thing is to decide on what your rules will be and then enforce them consistently. While working on the problem you might try giving her Rescue Remedy (by Bach Flowers). I know it's helped several dogs (as well as people including myself)get over what may to them seem traumatic.

bumping into "recent posts"

Im so sorry for the late response. Some family issues cme up which kept me pretty busy the past 2 days. I hve worked with the "off" comand with other things and am trying to incorporate that now. So far we have had almost 2 full nights of her being off of the bed but in the room. I designated a spot for her to sleep with things from the bed like a pillow that we slept on before. The first night I told her off and she persisted for about an hour but I kept at it and she stayed off . I know you guys are all right, I threw in the towel to early and let her win.

I do use marker training and I feel like an idiot for not thinking about the command for on and off before. Sometimes I think to deeply into something that just needs a simple solution. I am going to make a list and stick it on my fridge of the rules our dogs need to have and the commands we use. This way it is clear to everyone (including the hubby) what is expected.

If it is a training problem then why would she become destructive only if we go out of town? I didnt mention that before - my apologies.

Forgot to say thanks

"If it is a training problem then why would she become destructive only if we go out of town? I didnt mention that before - my apologies."


What you have described so far indicates a training issue. If there's different behavior when you're gone for extended periods, tell us those details. Is she home, kenneled, what?

(Destructive behavior when you're out of town is different from insistence about being on the bed or in the bedroom but no destruction, etc., when you're out.)

Sounds like you've started on the right path re the bed/bedroom issues!

Thanks, Lynne (from here) watches her when we go out of town and the last time I had left my bedroom door closed. She scratched at both the bedroom door and our front door. When let outback she dug holes running to Lynnes house (its not far - next door...lol). And if I remember correctly she defecated in the dining room but that could have been a different instance. That was what made me think it was S/A. We are only out of town no longer than 3 days.

We had another successful night last night. Im very excited Thank you