Quote: Anne Jones

I would return the pup & look to another breeder for a new pup...just like both stated above. I know this is not what you want to hear...but it is the best advice you are going to hear.
I've been down this road with a pup & it is better you cut your losses before You put a lot of wasted time & energy into a lost cause. I normal well tempered pup would be able to adjust very quickly to a new environment....it would not be behaving like this puppy.
If you don't have the experience to evaluate a pup..take someone with you that can when you go to look at a new pup.

I agree 100% -- Do it ASAP before everyone gets way too attached to this puppy ... She may be OK with your very young children right now, but please be aware that "nervous wreck" pups can often grow up to become Unstable Fear-Biters down the road

Where are you located? Perhaps someone here can suggest someone local to you to help in evaluating breeders and pups.

How much exposure to humans did this pup get with the breeder?

AKA Phaffenberger, by 16 weeks a pup that has no human exposure can be permanently harmed for further socializing. Your not to far from that.

fearful/timid/submissive/spooky pups/dogs are something I personally can't/wont work with.

Many here can do an excellent job bringing them up to par if the pup is capable but I don't believe a pup like this can ever be a really solid, confident dog.

As for the children
You don't know how a pup like this may result in it being a fear biter in a stressful situation.

Being "very sweet" could just be that she's very timid and submissive at this point in time.

The children are to young to develop a social structure higher then the pup without a lot of help from you. Not being a smart @$$ here but your inexperience doesn't sound like your prepared for that.

I would return the pup and look for a different breeder before you get to attached to the pup.

A fearful dog isn't something to raise with small children.

 Quote: Bob Scott

How much exposure to humans did this pup get with the breeder?
AKA Phaffenberger, by 16 weeks a pup that has no human exposure can be permanently harmed for further socializing. Your not to far from that.
fearful/timid/submissive/spooky pups/dogs are something I personally can't/wont work with.
Many here can do an excellent job bringing them up to par if the pup is capable but
I don't believe a pup like this can ever be a really solid, confident dog.
As for the children
You don't know how a pup like this may result in it being a fear biter in a stressful situation.
Being "very sweet" could just be that she's very timid and submissive at this point in time.
The children are to young to develop a social structure higher then the pup without a lot of help from you. Not being a smart @$$ here but your inexperience doesn't sound like your prepared for that.
I would return the pup and look for a different breeder before you get to attached to the pup.
A fearful dog isn't something to raise with small children.

Yes, not trying to be hurtful in any way, but this family situation does NOT call for a "Project Pup" -- Too many red flags right from the get-go for a household with very young kids & parents who are not dog-savvy enough to deal with all the possible problems, IMHO

I'm with Candi and Bob - I would bring the puppy back and ask for a refund. I would not want a fearful dog around my kid at all - too many factors can come into play with kids around dogs as it is and if something happens the dog will always pay the price. So IMO, it would be stacking the odds against this puppy.

I have 3 German Shepherds (Poms and Leonberger too) and I have never had one go through a "fear period" (I HATE that term). When I picked my female Shepherd up at 8 weeks, we spent 2 hours at the breeders seeing the parents work and going over everything, then I took her to the hotel room. She ate dinner, then went into her crate (never been crated before) at 11pm. We were up at 5 am and out for a potty on a busy highway (yes even at 5am it was busy) then we drove home 12 hours, stopping for potty breaks along the way. She never batted an eye at the entire process/trip.

The next day, I visited my friend who was having an asphalt over-hang being cut off the edge of her driveway. The machine was seriously loud and the ground trembled while it ran. I walked that baby puppy right past the machine with no issues whatsoever. She even laid down on the vibrating asphalt playing with a stick while we waited for my friend to come out.

This is the temperament I want to see in my puppies from the start. I have never seen any fear in my dogs, but they do have a "butthead" stage at some point (some earlier than others) where they think they were crowned king/queen of the world LOL!
I think there is a home for puppies like this, that will work them to their potential and love them for their short-comings. But its not my house and from the sounds of it, it is not yours either.

The is also a serious legal liability in owning a fearful dog. The propensity for a skittish dog biting someone is very high. The liability of that happening can be financially devastating.

I am familiar with english shepherds. Have one myself. Some suffer from "collie-shyness".

Who is the breeder?

Border Collie/English Shepherd dogs can more sensitive by nature. If you can't deal with a sensitive dog, don't get the breed.

The things that bother me about the OPs scenario
-multiple pups left at 13-14 w/o
-the pup wasn't evaluated as an individual
-pups were kept as a group
-there is now a shy and rather fearful pup and you have no clue what the parents are like (is it nature or nurture?)
-the pup wasn't in it's new home for that optimal socialization window before 12 w/o

RE: fear periods
My youngster is pretty solid. He slept the whole 5 hr trip home and got out ready to play. He took the world happily in stride (and has taken every new thing in stride). He has gone in and out of dozens of new places and scenarios without an issue.

But for several days when he was 13-14 w/o he was wonky as all get out. I was like "what happened to my puppy?!?" Then he evened out and was great again.

I've seen several shy dogs that happily interact with their family (otherwise there is no way I'd say I'd keep the pup if it's good with the kids). I've seen shy dogs that blossom in the right environment. I've seen confident dogs given up as teenagers because they nipped the kids (in a bossy sense, not a fear sense). My female is super soft but is excellent/bombproof kids and would be 110% trustworthy with them.

I've also heard quite a few Border Collie owners say "my puppy doesn't care anything about food"

Now, this isn't to say that the other posters aren't right in their thoughts. They could be very right and they give excellent thoughts that need to be considered.

But I wanted to throw out my perspective out there too since softer breeds can be a bit different to deal with.

I do wholeheartedly agree that if you have doubts, then returning the pup now is probably best.

My English Shepherd was from a litter of 2, bred from frozen semen, from a dog long dead.

His littermate was super shy - really fearful, rolled over on his back if you reached out your hand, cowered in the presence of strangers. With work he has apparently become a great dog.

My dog was bold as a pup, afraid of nothing, bossy. At 2 coming 3 he is social but not "friendly" in the golden retriever sense. He has a strong sense of "us" vs strangers, and he does not like strangers. He weighs 80 lbs and he is not a bit fat. He eats in his crate -- he resource guards, so he is fed there.

My dog is a gentleman but not an easy going kids dog. He is very active.

I'd call your breeder and express my concerns re your pups temperament. Then I'd give the pup a week or so to see if she begins to open up and fit in. If not, I'd return her before you become completely bonded.

Thank you for your honest opinions. I've been in communication with the breeder. She is a lovely lady who is involved in herding and agility with her dogs. The parents of our pup being what I wanted for our homestead for guarding and critter predation. We're giving her another week to see if the nerves settle more. She is a smart dog - in two sessions she's learned the sit command . I'm also planning on reaching out to a local trainer in herding/farm dogs to get her point of view. I have to say that just because a person is not experienced does not mean they are not up to a task. For the last 6 years I have tackled projects in which I had no prior experience and it wasn't always perfect right out the gate but it didn't stop me from going at it and LEARNING in the process, fine tuning and improving along the way. After conversations with the trainer and the vet I'll just have to reassess whether she's up to the task of being our farm dog. If not the breeder will take her back no problem. Thank y'all