I think his idea of a good dog is a dog that lays around the back yard and is convienent. Our last dog Snoop was more spoiled than Kane (well I didnt live with my husband then) he was in the house all the time. Went everywhere with me. We lost him shortly after moving in together. But Snoop did listen to his commands. Its almost like Kane is a step child from a previous marrige type thing. Its hard to explain.

In my case I have come to the coclusion that some have been around dogs but never learned or got taught how to care for them my wife was around dogs growing up but they were just there tied up never got socialize with them.So her thaughts are also the same that a dog just needs to lay around and just get feed and then left alone.When I first got married she knew I loved dogs and that my plans will always be to have one.She also knew the things I was into doing with the dog (Sch and P/P)So she puts up with it for the most part.
About the step child part I know were your coming from she tells me he's a dumb dog cause he will only listen to me (does every thing I tell him)I guess my job is educate her about dogs some more and maybe she will get it or at least understand. ;

Well just recently is when he came out with "Not liking him and probably never will... because of the past" but before that when I sensed his disliking I tried to educate him. Explained Shutzhund, GSDs. I tried to get him more involved. he went with me to a couple of training sessions and said its not for him. He knew my past with animals. I have always had a dog and all my dogs were allowed in the house... until now <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />. He watches the show "Show Dog Moms and Dads" and he cracks up and said he could understand my actions if I were like "them" but doesnt see the point in the training and special attention I guess.

My husband did that sort of thing before we were married. It got to the point that I literally couldn't enforce any rules with my dog or even train because of the lack of consistency in our house. I was srict and trying to raise a working dog and he was rough-housing, letting on the sofa, feeding table scraps. etc. I would explain to him the reasons why I was doing so, but his reply was "you treat the dog that way when he's with you and I'll do what I want to the dog when he's with me." Yeah right!
I finally got to the point where I told him- don't pet my dog, don't take him out, don't feed him, don't walk him. He's MY "hobby" and I don't tell you how to play your basketball or how to surf or how to design your websites (or any other hobby he has). That worked for the most part.

I can't give up my entire life or likes just because he has a few silly, closed-minded disagreements. I think you should have this same talk with your hubby...Be strong and be honest. You're not asking that much (and I certainly would not call it selfish, if he trys to pull that one.)

Alison Voore

 Quote:

A while back ago I was talking to a man online about Kane and wanted information and the such. I told him my problems getting my hubby to bond with Kane and that he doesnt care for him etc. Well to make a VERY long story short, things were rocky between me and the hubby for a while after that.

C'mon now; this sounds like the chick that yada-yada'd sex
on Seinfeld.

Sometimes what seems like a problem with the dog isn't a
problem with the dog.

I agree that theres a problem there with what happened... I don't deny that, but it made problems worse. He didn't care for him even before that. I'm not asking anyone to solve my problem... just wondering how others out there handle a situation where the spouse doesnt like their dog.

I have always had problems with girlfriends and the dogs. If not then I screwed it up in other ways. I find the mentality of working dog, or dog people in general to be odd to the general public. This is probably a big reason why at 40 I am not married. I like the dogs better. I have witnessed this in training classes as well as in clubs where the spouse gets p.o.d about the time taken away from them with the training. I also find that it doesn't go away there ends up being an acceptance, or they get out of the training, or the relationship. I alwys thought that when you love someone and they love doing something, that should make you happy that they are doing it, and you support them. But what do I know I am not married.LOL

Hi Chastity, Unless you decide to have a space of your own you are going to be this guy's slave. He is drawing the lines of control and you are accepting them. He's saying i'm not happy unless you do what I want and when I want and you are leaping to the bait because you think that is what strong guys do. Well, that is what insecure people do and let me tell you, you will never, ever, make him secure. Chastity, if I talk to you a year from now, two years from now, you will be telling me the same thing: You, your dog, your child, your car, whatever, any of these things just don't make him happy. And it is always your job to make him happy. Chastity, you need to ask yourself why.

Chastity, Sounds like you need a new huband! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> He had to know that you loved dogs when he married you. As long as he is tolerate of and doesn't mistreat your dog.....well, I guess he just has a personal problem.

Good luck,
Debbie

Wow! Some of you are harsh. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> I wouldn't go as far as saying that you need a new husband. I have been in the same situation. It is my opinion that divorce is the easy way out, the quick fix. Getting divorced over a dog (in my opinion) is crazy. I agree that dogs are very important to everyone on this forum. If not, we wouldn't be on here, but the love that we share with our spouse is so much more than a K-9. My wife is not a dog fan. She grew up with the little dog that would sleep most of the day and she had no responsibility concerning the dog. In her mind, all dogs should be like this. It is totally the opposite with working dogs. I had a GSD that my wife didn't like. She had different expectations for the dog than I did. According to her, I spent too much with the dog and not with her, I cared for the dog more, ect. Some of you have heard the same thing. It got to the point to were it was her or the dog. I thought it was rediculous to get divorced over this dog. As is with most cases, it wasn't about the dog, but I sold him. I told myself I would never get another one. It was too painful. Well, a few years later, I started to get the itch and wanted another one. My wife and I were doing better in our communication and relationship. We bought another pup (GSD) and this was a totally diferent experience. She liked this dog. It made a huge difference in how she viewed the dog. I also really had to work at letting my wife know that she meant more to me than the dog. I still did everything with this dog and she wasn't "into him" like I was, but she liked him. Unfortunately, because of my 1 year remote to Korea, I had to get rid of this dog as well. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I sold him to a police man that is working him. I couldn't have my wife watch a 2 yr. old, 5 yr. old and our dog. That would be too much for her. Praise the Lord, she told me the other day that she missed having a dog around. She wants us to get one over in Germany and she told me that schutzhund would be a good family activity for us to get involved in. My first reaction was, "are you OK? Where is my wife?" <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Chasity, I know it is difficult when you have a spouse that doesn't like your dog. Both mean a lot to you. I will suggest good, open and honest communication with him. Try to come to a good compromise, whatever that might be. I wouldn't get divorced because of this. Like most situations, and I think others are hinting at this, it's probably not because of the dog. But Chasity, to answer your question, yes, others go through this more often than you think. You're not the only one. It is very hard. I wish the best of luck for you, your husband and your dogs.