What do you do when the dog becomes upset by a loud noise?

OK, so a couple of simple things that you can start doing right away. (and a caveat: I don't know if these things will help, but they won't hurt and are not too difficult to implement. They are what I would do if it were my dog)

1) Feed in the crate. Fix the food, carry it to the crate. If he's in the crate already, call him out or lure him out with a treat. Ask him to sit (outside the crate). Put his food in the crate, then give him permission to go in to eat. An upbeat 'OK!' works well. If he tries to go in the crate while you are putting the food in, block him and ask him to sit again.
(In other words, you are gently controlling his access to the crate before feeding him.)

Once he's in the crate with the food, close the door of the crate and let him eat, undisturbed. Arrange his feeding time(s) to be when no one is in the family room, so that he has nothing to be stressed about when eating.

When he's done eating, call him out of the crate or lure him out with a treat if he won't come. Once he's out you can remove the bowl. (Don't remove the bowl while he's still in there.)

2) Anytime anyone comes to the house that is not your immediate family, put him in his crate (if he's not already there) and close the door. Ask all of your guests (and the guests of your kids) to ignore the dog. Make sure they really do ignore the dog. No eye contact or talking to him at all...

As Aaron mentioned, you want to create a positive association with the leash. (got to give that one some thought)

Once he's outside and walking, how is he?

If we are in the house and the dog hears a loud noise and is fearful I do nothing. I do not pet and try to sooth him. Outside if he hears a noise he will drag me back to the house. I usually have a prong collar on him so he is hurting himself. He only weighs 35 lbs but is very strong. I do think I am going to try a different type of collar.

On walks once I can get him off my street he is fine. He know's a few dogs and will great them but mostly I try to stay focused on the walk and just move out of the way if another dog is coming. I always click and treat if he does not bark or looks at me when others are approaching.

I am going to crate whenever someone comes over.

Aaron and Connie I appreciate so much your advice to Mary.I have learned to stick to the training and advice from this great team of people on this site. We as new dog owners to Shadow 9 months have been successful and of course have learned by OUR mistakes when we sway from what she is comfortable with or not. She also has been crate trained, feels safe in her crate and prefers to eat in her crate without any interruptions (she gives us a look). If there are any visitors she feels safe also in her crate and does not like any one threatening this, say for example my 2,6 or 10yr old nieces who are tempted to go up to her-I let them know to not bother her in her space. When it is time for play, they are allowed to let her get used to them and then all is well, she then loves the attention. I find she also barks when people come in the house, funny how she knows the sound of our cars and knows when it is us or I could be imagining this? We have had shadow in training but I find the videos and me reading on these forums give us much more info. We were swaying from her schedule recently and letting her out in the house more than not but then she got aggressive in the nipping, playing and jumping, we had to regroup---once she was in a proper schedule again, she got back to the routine, pack mentality and knowing that there is a time for toys, eating and playing and keeping up with her walking and training. Mary I wish you well,
welcome to the site

 Quote: mary weinberg

If we are in the house and the dog hears a loud noise and is fearful I do nothing. I do not pet and try to sooth him. Outside if he hears a noise he will drag me back to the house. I usually have a prong collar on him so he is hurting himself. He only weighs 35 lbs but is very strong. I do think I am going to try a different type of collar.

On walks once I can get him off my street he is fine. He know's a few dogs and will great them but mostly I try to stay focused on the walk and just move out of the way if another dog is coming. I always click and treat if he does not bark or looks at me when others are approaching.

I am going to crate whenever someone comes over.

I agree that a prong collar may not be the best option with a fearful dog in settings when you aren't walking him. It may only add to his panic.

To teach a no pressure 'come out of your crate' you can sit maybe 5 feet away, toss a treat in and say 'crate' then toss a treat in the other direction (eventually put a command to it). He will probably have to be hungry for this at first - treat it as a game and you should get him happily leaving the crate.

thanks for all the great advise. I just did a nice training session with the dog on sit, stay, come. Will take him back on the treadmill this evening. I am going to start working on the crate going in and out and he will have his dinner in the crate tonight.

I just feel better having someone to talk to about this issue. I was feeling very defeated this morning and now have some hope. Jasper, is really a great dog to our family. I just need to realize that it is ok to put him away when people come over.

i'll see if my son can help me figure out how to post a picture of him.

Which of the video's would you recommend for me to start with?

I would actually recommend books, before videos, for this dog.
"Animals in Translation" by Temple Grandin, and "Don't Shoot the Dog" by Karen Pryor.

If you want to check out some videos, the Marker Training DVD is where I'd start.

Mary, one other thought. This dog will benefit from good pack structure (all dogs do, really); if he knows what to expect and where his place is in your family it may help with his anxiety.

If you haven't discovered it, here's a link to a free e-book:
Pack Structure for Adult Dogs

and a link to the pack structure for family pets video:
Video

And one more question/comment:
From what you are describing, it is certain triggers that bring on the dog's anxiety. Specifically, small children and strangers in the house, and loud, unexpected noises.

Is he anxious/fearful in other situations?

I just want to thank everyone for the great advise. Here is what I have done so far.

No more prong collar. I found a dominant dog collar and watched the video on it's use. Just lifting the dog slightly off the ground when he is barking at the doorbell or seeing the little girls across the street has gotten him to look at me and settle down right away.

Feeding in the crate, no toys or food left around the house.

We are all putting in effort to get him more exercise.

I'm gonna watch the video on pack structure.

Got a private recommendation for a K9 trainer who I think I'm going to try. It seems to me that someone who does bite training maybe able to teach my dog to be less reactive.

Jasper was found on the side of the road as a young pup with his mother and other pups. My husband and I have felt that it must have been the loud traffic for who know's how long that started his fear.

I did have him around my young nieces all the time until he was 6 months old. That is when he started to nip at them. In the beginning I thought the barking was out of frustration of not being able to play with them anymore. I somehow feel like my correction gave the dog the wrong idea that the kids were something to be fearful of. I hope I can change that.