I hope you were walking!!

We were!

That's good!
I hope she continues to feel better!

Jen maybe the change in weather is causing her to stiffen up a bit????
Im not sure if HD works that way, that colder weather would effect it more like it would arthritis??

Well it all sounds positive so far.

fingers crossed for ya!

Maybe, but this has been going on awhile. She did refuse to pee on the hard snow this morning :sigh:

I hope there's no mass! I'm nervous for the bloodwork now. I'm sure it'll be fine though.

This isn't going to be a very Leerburg-ish post of mine.

And it makes me a failure by most standards, especially I would expect with you guys.

Teagan's bloodwork and urinanalysis came back normal. No explanation on the masses abdominally.

But I am, if Toby agrees, still planning on euthanizing her Monday.

I have never successfully dealt with her aggression. She spends the majority of her time crated so that I can have the cats out without her killing them or while I'm at work.

I am miserable living like this.

And I feel it is only a matter of time, not if, until she attacks again. Except this time it will probably be one of the cats. We've had a couple of close calls recently that make me uncomfortable and I'm not sure I will always, 100%, be able to successfully contain her.

I love her so much - I don't want you guys to think I don't - but I'm not sure either one of us is happy and I'm not sure I can live like this anymore. She is my sweetheart and my love, she is the dog who I know would do anything for me (except not kill), and I am failing her, but I feel like I am stuck.

I'm so sorry Jennifer...
This sounds like sort of a lose/lose, in that there is no easy answer for you and Teagan. The only other option to consider would be to rehome her, though the right person for that job is a true rarity, if you can find them at all (would it be worth an inquiry to experienced board members?) - let's be honest, it would have to be a clone of you, minus the house cats . So... you're left with the one, most heart-wrenching option.

You have far from failed her Jenn, don't beat yourself up for wanting a life free from the constant stress of avoiding a fatal attack within your own home... your own sanity weighs heavy here as well, and you've already extended yourself much farther than most in an attempt to make this work. Sometimes the right choice is also the hardest to make.

My thoughts will be with you and Teagan this weekend...
~Natalya

Thanks Natalya. This is not going to be an easy weekend - I can barely even type right now.

I actually spoke to our trainer about rehoming her, and if he knew anyone, and that's not a go. He certainly didn't dissuade me from making this decision, and he's of the honest old school, so that's saying something.

Toby says he couldn't make the decision but that's it's up to me and that he will support me regardless. He's also not good with this sort of thing, if any of us are.

Is it just the cats that are an issue right now? I assume there's no way to contain them sometimes so she can be loose more? Frustration from spending that much time in a crate can't be helping her aggression any.

I am sure you have already thought of and answered these questions on your own...I'm really just thinking out loud. You've come so far with her, I hate to see it come to this end.

Jenn, I'm sorry you are having to face this decision. I think if you have reached this point, knowing what an important part your dogs (and the rest of your animal family) play in your life, you have to accept that you have done the best for her that you could have possibly done. And you know that it's more than anyone else would have done, given her aggression.

I'm not sure how to end this, except to say that I'll keep you and Teagan in my thoughts...