Quote: Scott Kapphahn

Again, and please don’t take this the wrong way, you have only had this dog for a couple days, stop trying to “train” him, relax and just have fun…The pup does not look at you like a pack leader right now, you just got him and he is a baby. It will all come together if you follow the advice\article\videos here. ... Let him be a puppy. .... He may not be eating because he is just settling in with you. His whole world just changed and probably a little stressed out with all the “new” stuff, new house, strange people trying to stuff food in his face, tethering, starting markers, etc.

One thing at a time…

Just let him settle in for a bit…

He may not know what treats are yet, he will…

Relax a little and have fun, they are only puppies for so long!!!

Someone straighten me out if I am wrong.

Oh, you are SO not wrong!

I agree with Scott as well. Patience and just enjoying the little pup for what he is are certainly paramount. And I think this is good to remember also:

 Quote: jennifer lee

...he has to learn how to interact with you, which is totally different from his previous pack of puppies.

Bev, be the focal point of this pup's world - play with him, gently show him what you expect of him (not "obedience" training, per se) and provide him with a calm, confident human to follow, and you'll mutually start to understand each other better.

~Natalya

 Quote: Bev Thibault

I literally have to drag my puppy as he doesn't want to follow me...this is the second pup in three months...I have a timidity around dogs...This pup was so docile in it's foster home, that I fear the variable that's causing these troubles is me.

I admit to not having tethered her to me, as I am healing from back problems and bending over is problematic for me.

Bev,

I'm going to play devil's advocate here, as you're not lacking for great training ideas in this thread<g>.

I find myself asking whether a puppy is the right idea for you at this time in your life. Even if the only thing we were looking at here is your back situation, that alone is enough to make raising a puppy well incredibly difficult.

They are so much work! It's constant. And, physically demanding. And, since you're dealing with a baby being, it's good to be able to do it all with a smile. That's hard to do if you're not totally up for the demanding nature of this stage.

What comes across to me is a lot of frustration and a lack of simple comfort with the situation. Timidity and fear go hand in hand...if you are apprehensive about and around your puppy, it will pick up on that.

Perhaps it would be a better fit to consider taking in a mature dog...there are so many now that have been surrendered due to the financial situation; not all of them will have behavior issues. The key is to take your time finding the right fit between yourself and your potential companion.

And, given your back, it wouldn't be such a bad idea to take your time finding the right dog, whose exercise needs match your abilities and energy levels. The rescue Greyhounds are supposed to be the biggest couch potatoes, for example. The ones I've met have been sweet dogs. Available dogs go up the scale to high drive nut cases<g>.

I'm not saying that taking in a rescue doesn't require work, either<s>. It's just not quite as intense as puppy work

leih

Hi Leih,

No, I don't mind you're being the devil's advocate - often a dissenting view is the most informative. And if I was in a position to make decisions without consideration of my family, I would not have taken on a puppy.

My son & husband so wanted a puppy - and hubbie & I believe that the faithful love bestowed by a dog comes after we work like dogs to care for him. That said, we did consider (for several months) adopting an adult dog, but we were counselled by the rescue organizations we dealt with to reconsider.

Let's face it - any new dog is work. And I admit I'm frustrated but not with the puppy - my anxiety arises from my awareness that one can inadvertently make a mistake that can result in undesirable behaviours. I'm climbing up a very steep learning curve, trying not to slip on the way.

I am challenging myself - physically, emotionally - but anything worth doing involves challenge. I am working every day to rid myself of my timidity and find my inner confidence & share that with our pup, as well as my family and friends.

I'm finding so much useful information via this forum - there is a plethora of "what to do" advice out there, but this forum has provided me so much of the "how to do it" that is often missing. For eg., I didn't know I should offer my pup his reward with my palm facing him rather than palm down.

So, keep the advice & the counsel coming and I hope this time next year, I'll be sharing it with a future newbie

Well, I respect your determination to do it right.

As Tom Hanks might have said, "There's no anxiety in puppy-raising!" Everyone makes mistakes. Of course, it's great to be prepared enough to avoid the big ones...but the more you can relax and enjoy your puppy, the better.

leih

Bev, please know that I mean this to be a respectful observation. You're raising a child. The puppy should be easy in comparison.

Relax. Breathe. Play with the baby and enjoy his company. Don't worry that you're going to "ruin" him. In fact, I think your tension could impact his personality/behaviors more than anything you think you're doing wrong in puppy rearing.

I'm sorry, but from your posts I don't envy that puppy his life with you at this point, but you can fix that.

Hi Meredith,

I do hear the respect - and, understandably, a little irritation - in your observation.

I am aware that I've been obsessing; which I accept as being preferable to disinterested. Also, I am working really hard to relax - but as you can imagine just telling someone to "relax" doesn't work.

What is helping me develop my own confidence are the many wonderful helpful hints and kind encouragement. Today was much better & hope my tide has turned.

B

 Quote: Bev Thibault

Today was much better & hope my tide has turned.

B

Did you play with the puppy?

Not that young dogs are very similar to young humans, but one thing kind of is. When I had my first child, I was waaaaay more unrelaxed than this. I was an uptight worried obsessive overwrought book-consulting ER-visiting nut ... like most of us, I prefer to think.

Confidence does indeed make the fun possible. Remember playing with the baby? What a bonding and relaxing thing that is?

Still in charge, still the pack leader, but having a good time with the young critter.

Yes, we played several times over the course of the day - as did puppy with son.

Still trying to encourage him to be outside, but am trying not to frighten him.

Any good suggestions for games to play? I've tied a sought-after toy to a dowel and made him follow it over cardboard boxes & through a fabric tunnel. Then I hid rewards under cups, tissue boxes, etc.

I also let him climb over me; I also did a few sessions where I marked every time he followed me. It definitely works when he's hungry! When he's not, I have to do a little more lifting and carrying.

B

My puppies have liked rags, squeeky toys, knot balls, or for outside play I'll take a large handful of straw, tie it into a bundle with a longer piece of straw and watch them shred it. There is something about shredding stuff that just makes dogs happy.