For good clients, I would sometimes go to the home to put the dog down. People really appreciated that service. Often, sedation can be given first, then the dog can lie in its own bed and fall asleep. A veterinarian will usually bring a helper along to roll the vein, or put in a catheter, which guarantees access to the vein and a smooth delivery of the final agent. Sometimes a hind leg can be used, so the owner can be "up front ".

Being there when a beloved pet is put to sleep or even taking the dog to the vet office is more than some people can stand. I don't think people should be made to believe that THEY absolutely MUST be present -- sometimes the dog is more relaxed if a non-primary caregiver is the holder. If the owner is unable to get a "grip" on their emotions, and the dog senses sorrow and fear, it does not help the dog.
Feelings of guilt at "pulling the trigger" and fear of collapsing in tears in public delay the decision to PTS for many. The death of the pet may call to mind overwhelming memories of other losses, some which have never been reconciled.

Being a comfort for my animals at the time and not a basket case is the hardest thing I have ever done.

I am able to hold it together and fall apart after it is done.

Ideally, I want them to finish this journey in our home and not at the vets. This is not always possible, but I have been blessed with Good vets like Dr. Betty that will often go the extra mile.

Sadly, by the time they leave they often associate the vet's office with pain and discomfort. I want them to let go at a place where they know they have been loved.

Dr. Betty, you are so right that the best service to the dog if an owner cannot hold it together is not to be present. That would be the non-guilty decision: to do what is best for the dog.

JMO.

Thank you, Dr. Betty. I think it's an important point. My parents were caring enough to bring my last dog in to the vet for me when it was time. He knew and trusted them, and I was certainly NOT able to hold it together. Plus, I didn't want the memory.

Totally depends on the person, but it's important to honestly evaluate yourself and be able to make the best decision for your beloved dog at the end.

I was so thankful that my parents were able to give me this enormous and difficult gift. Sometimes I've felt guilty about not being there, but having an owner in hysterics does nothing for the dog.

OK, here come the tears...

 Quote: betty landercasp

Feelings of guilt at "pulling the trigger" and fear of collapsing in tears in public delay the decision to PTS for many. The death of the pet may call to mind overwhelming memories of other losses, some which have never been reconciled.

What a service a friend could do, to offer to be there instead.

This is a really hard one for me. To be there to witness the death of one you love is both a blessing and a curse. I am so very, very thankful I was there, but it is a memory which is hard to handle at times. Would I do it again? Absolutely.

I feel for your friend Connie. I still grieve for my Poe whom I let go on August 25th. When I was torn as to when to let Poe go I called the person who gave Poe and I our start in obedience training (and later became a close friend)to talk it over. She gave me a piece of advice that I will always hold close in these times. The advice was that it was going to be difficult whenever the time came to let Poe go but that I would forever regret waiting too long rather than perhaps doing it a bit early. I needed to hear that at the time and Poe was let go the following afternoon.....

I was lucky to have a vet like Betty who due to me being a good client, came to my home so I did not have to go to the clinic. He even contacted his clients scheduled to come in for a surgery that day to move the time of their appointment to allow him to leave the office to come to my home.

If you can hold it together and you have a vet that came come to the home, I recommend it. I usually spend the time prior to the vet arriving laying on my rug in my living room telling my beloved one all those private thoughts and words of love to let them know that they will be with me forever. I still have a drop of Poe's blood on my rug from when he was let go and I can't bear to wash it.

Another piece of advice is if she is considering cremation, I would look into the places that do it in the area and perhaps even contact them. It might just be me but I can't bear the thought of my dogs in a freezer so as morbid as it sounds, I make sure when the time comes, the crematory knows I am coming and will cremate my loved one that day (if at all possible). For me, it makes it easier to have everything lined up so I don't have to deal with the details when my emotions are so raw.

Darn, now I am crying....

 Quote: Wendy Lefebvre

Actually CJ, You got ALOt of great advice in that thread

Yes Wendy, I sure did and I hope she gets a chance to read it. Had it not been for that thread, I don’t know that I'd of made such a timely decision nor been the person I was on that day.

Someone who was not the complete mess I feared I would be. Someone who tried to make all the right decisions to ensure the best possible outcome for everyone involved. All the big things had been taken care of. I didn’t worry about payment afterwards, the gravesite, my other boys. Thanks to the incredible insight of the folks on this site, I was as prepared as I was ever going to be. The day was peaceful and all about Edward.

Having the ability to prepare also allowed me to take full advantage of the few precious days I had left with him. These were three of the best days of my life. I lived, breathed and was one with Edward. We ate together, slept together and spent every waking moment as a united pack, with Edward at the helm. I felt every little wince of his pain and kept his morphine pills close. They were good days for him too.

Every day of our 10 years together was something special, he was my heart dog. The bittersweet times of those last three days will always be burned into my memory. And knowing the joy we felt together makes it that much harder wondering what he’s doing out there without me.

He taught me so much about leadership and patience. He gave me a lot of insight into why scared dogs bite and how bad it can hurt. He taught me about fairness and compassion. He was one smart boy that never left my side if he had the choice. I miss him so much.

And this is why I feel that I don’t have the appropriate words. I feel so deeply for this lady. It still hurts when I think about the whole process, I’m not sure the pain will ever go away.

Probably something she doesn’t need to hear.

Gosh.. this thread costs me another box of tissue every time I open it.

 Quote: CJ Barrett

 Quote: Wendy Lefebvre

Actually CJ, You got ALOt of great advice in that thread

Yes Wendy, I sure did and I hope she gets a chance to read it. Had it not been for that thread, I don’t know that I'd of made such a timely decision nor been the person I was on that day.

Someone who was not the complete mess I feared I would be. Someone who tried to make all the right decisions to ensure the best possible outcome for everyone involved. All the big things had been taken care of. I didn’t worry about payment afterwards, the gravesite, my other boys. Thanks to the incredible insight of the folks on this site, I was as prepared as I was ever going to be. The day was peaceful and all about Edward.

Having the ability to prepare also allowed me to take full advantage of the few precious days I had left with him. These were three of the best days of my life. I lived, breathed and was one with Edward. We ate together, slept together and spent every waking moment as a united pack, with Edward at the helm. I felt every little wince of his pain and kept his morphine pills close. They were good days for him too.

Every day of our 10 years together was something special, he was my heart dog. The bittersweet times of those last three days will always be burned into my memory. And knowing the joy we felt together makes it that much harder wondering what he’s doing out there without me.

He taught me so much about leadership and patience. He gave me a lot of insight into why scared dogs bite and how bad it can hurt. He taught me about fairness and compassion. He was one smart boy that never left my side if he had the choice. I miss him so much.

And this is why I feel that I don’t have the appropriate words. I feel so deeply for this lady. It still hurts when I think about the whole process, I’m not sure the pain will ever go away.

Probably something she doesn’t need to hear.

Gosh.. this thread costs me another box of tissue every time I open it.

I'm crying. That wasn't nice CJ. Now I miss my heart dog, who I let go October 14th 2008. I managed to make it through this whole thread, reading it every day now without loosing it, till your last post.

I'm sorry Kelly. Let's blame Wendy for that one. I was perfectly content not sharing any further, but she was very instrumental in her advice back then and I felt she deserved the most heartfelt reply I had.

Thank you again Wendy, I still feel that butt kick, your words were very needed at that time.