Now a word from the shallow and selfish. I've been married 26 years and chose my husband because I enjoy his company, he's fun and he's a fine looking man. He is also very respectful. Pretty much what I look for in a dog too.

I really like my lifestyle so I would expect the dog I choose to live around that vs me changing how I live. I know what I can give to meet a dog's needs and I know what I need from a dog to meet mine.

I wouldn't be so concerned about a breed as how you live your life now. Many people are amazed by a certain breed and do their research and picture themselves as the perfect owner for this breed and how much they'll love life with this dog. My advice: unless you are currently living a lifestyle which is conducive to the life of the breed you want.....don't do it because it won't be fun. It'll be a pain in the a**.

As far as the Malinois........omg they are sooooooo CUTE! I want one.
No worries; I'm a GSD gal or if pushed could settle on a BMC.

Without attempting to beat a dead horse further, how do you know you're meeting all your dog's needs? Fed, exercised, trained, contained, vetted, and loved?

Socialized, well behaved, settles easily, non-destructive? Other?

I think I've done pretty well with my former wild child dog and the new guy has a lot of work to put in yet, but he's miles better than he was a few months ago.

For some of these dogs, shelter bound, is an imperfect home better or worse than death? (this is not the same as searching out a drivey puppy, goes without saying)

 Quote: Cat Richter

a life apart from dogs? sounds awful!

FOR ME, what Connie said is not so much about life without a dog as it is living with a dog that is not the center of your life. Before my current dog, who filled my empty nest, having a dog who wasn't my center was my preference.

I grew up with dogs and now have close to forty years of owning my own dogs. I did not have one when my son came to live with me, but I wanted him to have a dog as a playmate. We adopted a mixed hound from a shelter who turned out to be perfect. She was content being a yard dog, exercising and entertaining herself in her own yard until we got home after school and work.

She was a loyal and loving dog. She would wait for the school bus to pass in the afternoon, watch the kids walk home, and wait for my son to do his homework so he could play with her. She considered it extra special if I had time to play with her, we were going for a ride somewhere, or if my son and I took time to teach her a parlor trick. She even looked forward to freezing weather, because that meant that she would spend a few days inside with us.

However, when life was hectic, she was not despondent being left alone. There were some lean times when owning her meant simply that there was a dog in the yard that had to be fed, watered, and cared for. She was okay with that, and treasured every moment that we did spend together.

The dog I chose as an empty-nester is a completely different ballgame. She's like a grandchild in that she requires that I do some things that I ordinarily don't feel like doing. She would never be happy OR healthy living like my last dog did.

 Quote: Kristin Muntz

Without attempting to beat a dead horse further, how do you know you're meeting all your dog's needs?

When you lead; they follow.
And I'm not talking about obedience, I'm talking about the dog matching its energy to yours.
IMO, if you provide leadership, the rest falls into place. It provides the balance and stability for the relationship to grow.

I understand now. I guess sometimes when i obsess, i over analyze things. It really is that simple.
Thanks for your patience.

 Quote: Connie Sutherland

But I truly 100% believe that most people are not .... they don't devote their whole lives to their dog(s); they actually have a life aside from constant dog care and dog training.

Apart from earning a crust to keep a roof over my/the dogs heads and feeding us all, I am one of those batty old dog ladies - to quote my darling children - who, also according to them, doesn't have a life

 Quote: Tracy Collins

 Quote: Connie Sutherland

It's always best for both the dog and the human to be matched in craziness energy and drive.

You do it with your eyes open. With enough self-awareness to know who you are and what you want. To honestly assess the strengths and weaknesses of the other individual. To project whether or not you want the same things. To commit to continuing to work on that vision even when it's hard. To be honest enough to know when something isn't a good fit even if it seemed like it...or you really wanted it to work.

I evaluate a potential new dog based on how well we click emotionally. And whether or not I think this particular dog is an ideal fit for the life I have to offer it. I don't go looking for "projects," or bite off more than I'm comfortable with. That's a dog for somebody else. And I know that. The dog probably knows that too.

That's for darn sure Ed Frawley sagely says, "A dog ALWAYS knows what you know, AND what you don't know!" -- Get an extremely HIGH-DRIVE dog & expect a Real Education in, "Everything you always thought you knew about dogs, but actually DIDN'T", LOL...

bump!

 Quote: tracey holden

to quote my darling children - who, also according to them, doesn't have a life

Bahh.... what do kids know.

I work hard all week and enjoy the heck out of my dogs when I'm home. Walking in the woods, exercising them, teaching and learning and learning and teaching. Heck...we ARE life. The kids will get it soon enough.

And can't say a dog has ever been a "project". Dogs that come into our family - high drive and fearfully reactive or old and cranky or babies; are here because they need a home. And like many of you, in some way we know we need them too. We also don't take on more than we can handle.

With our off work time dedicated almost entirely to the family we've created, every dog is like a great friend. One a little goofier, a little livelier, a little less energy or vibrating energy oozing out of his pours. We all take the same hikes together. Some perform it with a lot more vigor while others just stroll by our side. One on one time is matched with the needs of the dog. All different.

The dogs are willing to dedicate their lives to us; we have no problem repaying that commitment, regardless of the drive or issues they come with.

We also have no biases in breeds. Higher drives and lower drives come in all breeds, some more prominent than others for sure, but there's always the anomalies. Those are usually the ones in need of a new home..."He wasn't supposed to be like that". We just take them how they come.

I haven't got a clue how to choose a puppy for myself, never had a need for the option. But it's sure easy to tell when a puppy and owner aren't matched for each other.

As far as Mal's go, I've heard all the hype too. It's a good thing it's out there, getting folks to pay more attention to the needs of the higher drive dogs as opposed letting them go insane on the end of chain. But that goes for any dog as far as I'm concerned.

The kids are right! We have no life -- dogs AND people!


Heck, just look at CJ's sig pic, directly above this post.

There's a creature with no life .... no joy, no engagement, no nothing.