Re: the idea you can't take a dog out in public if you don't want people to freely pet it. It's both laughable and ludicrous IMO. Taking your property out in public is not an open invitation for others to use it how they see fit. I can park my car and expect people to leave it alone. I can carry a purse and expect someone won't snatch it. I can use my laptop and expect that another person won't come help themselves to my power supply because "you had it in public so I took it forgranted that I was free to use it". The same applies to my dog. Yes, I realize there is potential for something to happen, but that doesn't = free for random strangers to pet at will.

Love the turnaround in this thread.

As apparently obnoxious as the original offender appeared to be, he pointed out a few things common to the general public. He didn't go about it so well but the truth was there underneath all the nasties.

Many things seem obvious to us but it takes a lot work to get a nation to turn itself around. Some old beliefs still run deep.

When we come across these situations, we can all get that information out there, one by one.

- Watch the use of the words "Working Dog" unless your dog is actually providing a service, public or otherwise.
- Watch the use of the words that you are going to "Label" your dog with, to deter those interactions.
- Watch the use of the words you're using to deter that situation, be prepared for a "public" response.

And a big one for me, is knowing that the majority of those people, the uninformed ones, are going to take the fact that they can't pet my dogs as an insult, a rejection, a negative response to their request.

As a responsible dog owner, knowing this, I want to choose words that will minimize the offensive impact this has as quickly and clearly as possible.

"They're not pettin' dogs" works for me. Thanks Mike.

When the student is ready, the teacher will come. Unknown.

I have followed this thread with interest and I wholeheartedly agree with the advice given by many to not engage these kinds of people. According to your OP, guy approaches to pet your dog, you say no, she's a working dog, guy leaves. As he's walking away, you call out an unsolicited comment to him. It's no surprise that to me that he turned around and came back to argue with you.

There's been talk about vests, collars, etc. Some vests, as pointed out, can be unethical at the very least. And people who are intent on approaching to pet your dog are not going to bother reading something printed on a collar. I say forget trying to fix the problem with some device or another.

If a stranger tried to approach your child and touch him/her, would you feel you had to explain yourself blue in the face as to why you weren't going to allow that? Answer all of their questions? I suspect not. Who cares if they walk away, calling you names or using rude gestures? Seriously, don't let people like that get to you. The world is full of idiots and you can't change it, so just do your best to avoid/ignore them. They thrive on engagement with you.

Cat, I honestly believe the solution to dealing with the kinds of incidents you describe is going to have to come from within yourself. I'm bothered by the fact that you mentioned a couple times how you're a young, petite woman, and this wouldn't have happened if you'd had a big man with you. That's a defeatist attitude. You can learn to project an air of confidence and assertiveness in your everyday dealings with people. This is not the place to get into the details of that, but I'm sure you can find a ton of resources out there. Maybe take a women's self-defense class, not with the intent of going out and kicking butts, but for the attitude of self-assurance it will help develop in you.

I hope I have not offended you, but I feel strongly about women learning to stand up for themselves, and doing it in a calm, polite, but no-nonsense way. Before you say, oh, but you were standing up for yourself, no, you were not. You were engaging in an unproductive argument and trading insults with a stranger.

When you're out in public with your dog, make her your focus. Anticipate trouble when you see it coming, and move away or get between the person and your dog if that's all you can do. Learn to read people to know the best way to respond. I can't tell you exactly what to say, because it will be different for each circumstance. With adults and teenagers, I find that, "Sorry, she's in training" usually works, as I'm moving away from them. If it's young children, I try to be as friendly as possible and say something like, "Sorry, this dog just isn't used to kids."

The exact words are not as important as your attitude, your demeanor, your presence, your body language. This is all JMO, and I mean it in a friendly way. I wish you good luck in your journey.

While it's true that you should be able to take your dog anywhere and not be subject to unwanted advances, there are some places that are not ideal for certain dogs. My dog is people friendly and very approachable, but she is also highly reactive. Regardless of how friendly she is, if I bring her to a pet store when it is busy with customers and their animals, I'd have my hands full and she'd be a potential danger to any strangers.

If I was concerned about strangers approaching my dog, I would think that a park or a busy city street would not be an ideal place to be with the dog. After all, a laptop or a purse or a parked car is not nearly as tempting to a child as the cute doggy is.

ETA: Tis might be a good place to mention something that we don't often acknowledge here. There are some instances where we have positive interactions and we get a chance to be an ambassador for our breed or for working dogs in general

I was training my dog in my front yard one evening when a lady pulled her SUV over and got out. She explained that she drove down my street every day on her way home and had seen us many times. She and her family were temporarily renting a home nearby because the home they were building was having some delays. She had always been a dog lover and wanted to get one for her young daughters, but that she couldn't get one until her family was settled. She then told me that she had been tempted sevral times to pull over and ask if she could just pet my dog for a few minutes.

When she first approached, I was a little put off by the interruption of our work. I usually discourage people touching Sadie. The thought passed through my head that she may have been scouting to steal my dog. However, a peace came over me and I was touched by her story. I also appreciated the respect she showed by asking permission, so I relented. Sadie loved the attention, and the lady even let Sadie lick her face.

The lady seemed satisfied and left without much more conversation, though I did extend an invitation to her to stop by with her children if she so desired. She has passed and waved several times, but hasn't stopped again. I like to think that the single interaction provided some kind of healing for her.

Edited by Duane Hull (07/05/2014 10:02 PM)
Edit reason: eta

Duane - I kind of assumed that a dog being safe is part of the equation. I understand my stance isn't going to work in every scenario but I don't think it's unreasonable in the OPs situation. I probably should have added that to my post. FWIW, Around here it seems young kids have the best sense of boundaries when it comes to strange dogs. I had Kolt out at local festival for socialization a couple weeks ago. I actually don't mind people petting him right now but I do want random strangers to ask first. All the kids asked beautifully and petted politely. But over 50% of the adults had tunnel vision for the pup and ignored me all together. So I kept him busy with treats and on the side of me farthest from the person and he ignored them...

thanks for all the advice. I didn't call out after him though he had made a comment about labelling her and I said usually people ask first and then he came back and got in my face and screamed at me and called me a bitch. Ya maybe I could have handled it better but I think I actually stayed very calm and explained things the best I could. I was very taken aback and in shock over why he was going on a rampage and what was even happening. Im rarely approached when with her my friends and fiancée get approached constantly with her I think my body language gives off a vibe lol. I don't say shes a service dog but I do say shes a working dog as I thought that wasn't really misleading. I never say she bites or isn't friendly, usually people respect that shes a working dog and go away or ask what she does and have a nice conversation. I think I am just going to say no and if people ask why say coz I said so or I don't want strangers petting her, seems easiest and leave it at that. I take her with me everywhere and so busy places are inevitable, I always let calm kids pet her, she really likes kids. I really dislike people touching me to the point of it being an issue so maybe that's why im sensitive and I really let things get to me more than they should, I was shaking and couldn't sleep that night. Maybe a self defense class would be good, its always interested me.

also im not petite im actually tall and normal weight but he was much older and pudgy and taller which is why I felt more threatened.

 Quote: Cat Richter

also im not petite im actually tall and normal weight but he was much older and pudgy and taller which is why I felt more threatened.

I'm the one who mentioned the word "petite." Sorry for the misunderstanding. You had referred to yourself as "smaller," but I guess you meant in relation to the man in question. But, really, a woman's height, weight, or age have nothing whatsoever to do with the issues we're talking about here. Yes, the guy you encountered sounds like a real piece of work, but, unfortunately, there are plenty more where he came from. Again, I believe it's less about your physical characteristics and much more about projecting a confident and assertive but non-confrontational attitude. And for most of us, that's something that takes time to develop; only a few lucky ones are born that way.

I too have had positive experiences with strangers in public with my dog. If people seem respectful and want to ask questions about my dog or its breed, I am open to that. When I'm walking my dog, I often throw in random obedience and rally-type exercises, and I sometimes have people asking me about the training. It's a great opportunity to talk about the advantages of a well-mannered dog. Some people will make comments to the effect of, "Oh, I could never do that," and I will try to explain how simple it really is and even give them a referral to a local dog training facility if they're interested. On some rare occasions, under the right circumstances, I have even allowed someone to pet my dog. Like Mara mentions above, if I had a puppy I was socializing, that would be a good reason to allow friendly, calm people to approach. (Though I respect the fact that some people don't want anyone touching their dog, ever. It's a personal choice.)

So it is hard to paint every possible scenario with the same brush, but I think the common theme here is this is your dog, your rules, your responsibility to protect your dog, including protecting her from inappropriate interactions with others.

Again not related to the dog issue at hand - I also have extreme 'touch/personal space' issues and Tae Kwon Do really forced me to get up close and personal and work on that particular trigger of mine with guys (and girls) that I could trust 100%. Hope you find something helpful to you

thanks Kristin