In my personal experience, its not unusual for a strong female to be more responsive to a man. My dog is a mush around any confident guy. You should have seen her making out with the vet today! On the other hand she can be a space invading, pushy terror with women if allowed.

It used to piss me off that she listened to my boyfriend and my dad better than me, but then I realized I just had to work a little harder.

The pejorative "bitch" came from somewhere, right?

Maria, I'm with Randy that your dog probably didn't have any intent to bite you. I'm reading this more as a very pushy, completely confused, stressed out attempt to play.

You have to remember she is still basicaly a pup, and that she didn't have any leadership in her life at all before she came to you. That first year is so important in learning socialy acceptable behavior, and she missed out on all of it because of her former owners.

Another thing to note is that this forum probably has a higher concentration of people who own dogs that are capable of handler aggression than anywhere else you will find. If there was any alarm to these very experienced people, I have absolutely no doubt that they would not hesitate to tell you that you have a major problem on your hands.

All this being said, I think its really time you consider whether or not you should keep this dog. Having this "I'll show her who's boss" approach is not going to benefit either of you. Having that mindset also wont work with this type of dog. A strong dog like this will sense you are angry and push right back.

Plus, its not at all healthy for either of you if you feel resentment towards her because of money and time spent.

I understand that you feel its your home or death, but really there may be other options. To me she sounds like a good, strong dog who needs a lot of work. I'm not saying that you have to rehome her, that decision is entirely up to you. I still really believe you can work it out.

But if you decide that she is not a good fit for you I bet you could find a good home for her if you reach out to one of your Akita forums.

 Quote: maria martynchik

Just..really tired of this.

We have spent probably a few thousand dollars on her already :-) not considering the fact that we PAID FOR HER! (I am not kidding) and had to sacrifice or own medical help, my doctor appointments, had to seriously tighten our belts even food-wise (we are pretty poor) and have to save on basic needs. for all the tools/goodies/DVDs and her sensitive stomach=constant fancy food changes needed investment. I don't mind to give everything to my dog, but when this dog keeps getting aggressive with me despite all the financial and emotional investment it makes me sad. She just turned a year old, and not really a puppy anymore, so when she wants to get the best of me, she probably will. I know we are stuck with her now, but honestly, should have gone with the shepherd puppy like we planned in the first place. They are not a mystery to me.

By the way, she as we discovered came from a backyard breeder..Some rave kid had an Akita, his friend had an Akita..there you go.

I hear the "I'm tired of this" and completely understand. You chose to bring a challenging dog into your home and the reality is sinking in. She is going to be a handful, but it can be done.

The dog has no concept of the fact that you guys have spent thousands of dollars on her. She has absolutely no understanding that you have invested enormous amounts of emotional energy, except that at times it makes you and your husband cranky and that translates down the least to her, but she hasn't a CLUE that it is due to anything she has done.

Randy is 100% right: if this dog was being aggressive to you today and wanted a bite, you'd be at the hospital right now. She was not trying to bite you.

What MIGHT she have been trying to say? Maybe something along the lines of "Why in the hell do you keep correcting/jerking me woman???". I'm not saying this to be mean Maria - just the opposite. Why might this dog have reacted that way after being corrected for being in front of you for the third time today?

Has she been trained, under distractions, that walking by your side is where she is supposed to be? Maybe she has. Maybe she was as confused and frustrated as you were.

It is not this dog's fault that she came from a back yard breeder. She could have come out of the finest two Akitas on the planet and then bought by someone who screwed her up, and then you and your husband could have bought a well-bred screwed up Akita. Ignore the fact that she is from a back yard breeder.

She isn't being bad because you haven't invested enough money or emotions. She has issues that began before you brought her home and assumed responsibility for her.

You aren't "stuck with her now" and if that remains your thought process, find a good Akita rescue organization and turn her over. Won't make you a horrible person. In fact, if you continue to feel overwhelmed, continue to think she needs stronger leadership, continue to be afraid of her, continue to begrude the financial and emotional investment, it is in both of your best interests to do just that. Because it isn't fair to this dog to continue to be a burden. It is okay if she becomes a challenge to you. It is okay if she drives you nuts on some days. It is perfect that you come here to seek advice and occassionally scream "what am I doing wrong???"

Take a day or two to decide if you are in for the duration and to the best of your ability. If you are in, don't blame her for the bad times. When they happen, ask yourself, and this forum, "what should I have done differently? This didn't work like I expected."

ETA: Lauren posted while I was typing...

:-)Happy as it can be, in certain places at certain times. it's in a song, "And I'm told to be quite handsome, at a certain angle in a certain light".

She threw a fit again. It's every day now. Not really aggressive, but scary. I told her to roll over, she was lying on the ground biting the leash a bit, yelling at me, simply because I didn't let her go and SMELL the baby in the park. After she was done with the fit, I kneeled to clip her leash on better and she calmly crawled closer and put her head in my lap, ears far apart, being nice. On the way back she was a normal model dog, What the hell is going on with her? Damn.

Sorry, I just started reading what everyone had to say and got a little confused. Thank you guys for being involved in this/talking to me about this anyways, who has the time to even my ranting...I am surprised. Thank you.

Oh no, to whoever said I might start resenting her, I don't resent her. I don't get angry at her either, just don't trust that she won't get back to her old ways, and kinda always expect a bite. I know, I know...if you expect a bite, you gonna get a bite :-).
I get frustrated with the situation, and upset that I spent time and physical strength on a dog that might never be my dog. I am getting physically worse, and I could have given 3 months of extreme work and over 3 hours of walking a day to a friendly dog that would like me-there are plenty of dogs like this that need homes. Even Akitas! I never adopted adult dogs (or dogs that already hit adolescence). My mother and I adopted Elsa (a dachshund/German Jagdt-terrier mix) when she was 4 months old, and considering how difficult she was in the first months I always regretted we didn't get there earlier. Naida (our GSD) was found when she was just 4 weeks old. She always thought we were her mommies, and was very, very submissive and loyal girl. But I never had a problem with the dog not liking me or getting aggressive. Akita rescue will not take her, by the way. I talked, jut in case. Nope, not a known biter.

We are not actually planning on doing anything with her, I'm just tired, and kind of upset we didn't check her out more times before getting her. There were plenty of dogs available for us, but we went with her. I wonder how somebody else would have dealt with her if she was adopted by somebody other than us.

Oh, she usually sucks up to my husband when I correct her, and to me when he is not pleased with her:-). She is quite intelligent, knows how to work us. Even on a walk when I would tell her to heel closer, she would always try to get his approval first, and if he "shushes" her, back to me-"maybe you think I don't have to heel?" Same with commands, I usually stop this bullsh*t after she does it.

It IS true about female dogs! I wanted a male dog this time, Rex (GSD mix took care of for a while) was a male and very attached to me but scared of my husband. Our Elsa was OK with us when I was living with my mother, but was really in love with my mother's boyfriend. She was a velcro dog with him, on his lap all the time, followed him around the house, looked lovingly into his eyes and sigh haha. They do love boys best.

If you find the right help to get thru this part, these difficulties will be overcome. Your bond will be stronger than ever, because YOU will have made a relationship with the dog, one that wasn't given FREE.
Yes, you can get hundreds of doggy dogs that will love and respect you for no work on your part. But what you get from turning around a difficult dog is precious.
Take heart! Folks here will help you.

Maria,
'In a way' you have to forget all your previous dogs. Each dog of even the same breed or the same litter are different, individuals. What you have to remember is the tools you used with each dog to get them (or yourself) over their individual issues.

Here is something I think I picked up out of your last post.
And make no mistake, it IS a very common issue or mistake (if you will).
Two adults, each trying to help.
One gives a command to the dog, dog either ignores or veerrry lazy about obeying. The second adult trying to help steps in or speaking up and seconding the command. Sometimes by actually stepping in and physically handling the dog to enforce the first adults command.
If you're confused by that description, imagination how the dog feels.
So to fix that you and your spouse come to an agreement. If you give a command he does not interfere....at all. Either verbally or physically (unless you ask him to). And the same goes for you, if he gives a command you don't interfere.

Correct me if I'm wrong in what I think is going on.

Randy, that is a great insight. People do it all the time to their kids, too. That kind of unintentional slip is a major point deduction from the consistency side of the chart. Both for kids and dogs.

 Quote: randy allen

Maria,
'In a way' you have to forget all your previous dogs. Each dog of even the same breed or the same litter are different, individuals. What you have to remember is the tools you used with each dog to get them (or yourself) over their individual issues.

Here is something I think I picked up out of your last post.
And make no mistake, it IS a very common issue or mistake (if you will).
Two adults, each trying to help.
One gives a command to the dog, dog either ignores or veerrry lazy about obeying. The second adult trying to help steps in or speaking up and seconding the command. Sometimes by actually stepping in and physically handling the dog to enforce the first adults command.
If you're confused by that description, imagination how the dog feels.
So to fix that you and your spouse come to an agreement. If you give a command he does not interfere....at all. Either verbally or physically (unless you ask him to). And the same goes for you, if he gives a command you don't interfere.

Correct me if I'm wrong in what I think is going on.

Happens ALL THE TIME in my house. Both with kids, and dogs. We feel we need to back each other up, but in reality we're undermining eachother in the dogs/kids eyes. "I don't have to listen when Dad tells me to go sit down. I only have to when Mom repeats what he said" Not good.

Well, we had another bad incident (the tantrums became not just daily, but hourly, and she resorted to nipping and yesterday- to biting; thank God, I had a thick coat sleeve and a leather glove on me) and we are thinking she has got to go. I had to ditch my cane and literally struggle with a huge-*ss dog at 1 A.M. on an empty sidewalk with her trying to bite through my glove that i just felt I better wear that night. No prong collar was strong enough to stop it. Oh, yeah: the reason for it was HER correcting ME because I didn't let her run towards our roommate who was smoking outside on the steps to out house. She yowled and yelped refusing to walk, I couldn't even lead her away, then went full-force with growling and biting at my hand and arm. I had to yank the leash and wrestle her to the ground and hold her down for half an hour until she quit her bullsh*t. I honestly have no desire to walk her at all now, period. I can deal with many, many dog problems but handler aggression is NOT one of them. We have no money left for private trainers, we are broke already trying to solve her issues. I cannot explain to the animal that she better behave unless she wants to be put down, they don't speak human. My husband also cannot allow this (she tried the same in front of him a couple of days ago, loud screaming and nipping in response to LIGHT correction). Never in my life I would have taken in a dog with aggression into my house If I knew she had it, and I have spent enough time and health on this already. Thank you guys very much for your wonderful support, but we had enough. We had a trial period for her (3 months) and it was decided that if she f*cks up after that she has to go. We cannot create a "sanctuary" for her here or keep her in an outdoor kennel or a muzzle all the time. it is simply NOT what we can afford and is too much risk for a disabled person to have.

I understand you're upset Maria...and you are correct, we all come at these threads with a genuine desire to support. But before making a life altering decision for this dog would you entertain the possibility of at least giving my trainer a call? The gentleman I PM'ed you about -I can resend link and info if needed.
I cannot completely speak for him, but I know he performs evaluations and trial work (for police departments, etc) at no cost -then if a training program is agreed to and put in place he will quote fees which in my experience are 100% resasonable. He also has turned around an Akita that an owner could not handle or walk...in all respect you've kind of let this go on -please consider reaching out to Darryl...JMHO but felt I had to respond..