The problem\question I have is on socialization. We would like close friends\family to at least be able to pat our 12 Month old GSD (F) on the head without her acting so skittish. When friends\family are going to give her treats I am always right next to her telling her “it’s OK” (I think she knows what it means, I say that because if she is doing something she will look at me and I will say “it’s OK” and she will continue on). I truly believe the breeder we got her from did not physically abuse her, but your never know.

She is not fearful or aggressive towards people (at least not yet) and does not display any signs of aggression that I can tell. When our friends\family come over she acts aloof to them, she will go up to them after they are at our house for a minute or two for a little sniff then carry on with what she was doing.

If we allow our friends\family to give her treats, she takes them gently but quickly backs off. If our close friends\family give her treats, we will have them sit down on the ground first and move very slowly and present the treat. After several treats, I sometimes ask them try to reach under her head slowly at that point she will get very skittish and back away. We only have tried this exercise after she has been around them five or six times.

I try to do my best at taking her everywhere with me and meet new people\things. I take her to work 3 or 4 days a week, take her on walks in a regular park (not dog park) so she can at least see people are not going to hurt her. Take her swimming at a nearby lake access (usually people around). I take her with me almost everywhere allowed.

Did we go wrong in not establishing that I will protect her? We have run across loose dogs, I stepped in-between the loose dogs and ours and scared off the other dog(s). We have been out a few other places (vet, neighbor’s house) and if she is scared she will go behind me (or real close to me) and looks up to me to protect her, I will say “it’s OK” and softly pet her until she is comfortable.

I do not want her to look at other people as a source of fun we just would like to get her a little more comfortable around people. In your opinion is this a problem? Can it be overcome? Is there anything I should be doing or am I on the right track?

Some lines of dogs are just like that, doesn't mean they were abused, just that they're incredibly nervy dogs.

Don't force her to deal with people coming up to her. Let her be the one to initiate contact, and when she does initiate contact tell the people to just totally ignore her. Hold a treat out palm-up and don't even look at her, just go about their business, talking to you or whatever they were doing with a palm out with a treat. Don't have them approach the dog or try to pet her after she takes it. Just let her figure it out on her own.

The biggest problem I see is that people will be very cautious around a dog that is skittish, let the dog take a treat from them, then suddenly they think that because the dog took a treat that they can pet the dog and be friendly with him. So the dog finally reached this point in their mind where "yes, I can take this food from this stranger and I didn't die," when all of a sudden the stranger's hand starts reaching over the dogs head and moving toward the dog.

Let the dog be the one to call the shots. If it is friends coming into the house, just have them go about their business, don't look at the dog or talk to the dog, don't praise or anything. If they are sitting on the sofa talking, then just have em sit there with food in their hand. Eventually the dog will go up and take the food, sniff at them etc, and after lots of repetition hopefully the behavior will be less skittish.

Use high value treats, really stinky stuff like hotdogs, various types of meats, sometimes cheese works great.

 Quote:

I do not want her to look at other people as a source of fun we just would like to get her a little more comfortable around people.

I would totally forget about any of the "my dog shouldn't look to other people for fun" notions you may have. Write it down and toss it in the trash. The dog is skittish and nervy, the dog will likely never look to strangers for fun, but, I would rather the dog look to strangers for fun than act like a nervous dog around them. So don't try to impose limitations on how you feel the dog should behave, because you already have a dog that doesn't behave "correctly," I'd rather have an overly-social dog than an overly-nervous dog. If strangers can be a source of fun for the dog then it's only a good thing if it gets her over this skittishness.

Yes it is a problem, yes I believe you can overcome it, but odds are she will never be a social butterfly and will always be nervous with people she hasn't warmed up to. So just let her get to know people on her terms at her pace and see where that takes you. If you see her backing away from people because they moved toward her, motioned at her, or did anything other than ignore her, then you know the person went too far. Ideally she will take the food, sniff at the person then go about her business. After a while when she warms up to people she can become more social. Or maybe not. Don't go too fast or push the issue. The more attention you call to an issue the worse it gets for the dog (or people too for that matter.)

There's lots of info about this kind of thing on this site, just dig around and you'll have plenty of reading to do. Good luck!

 Quote: Scott Kapphahn

Did we go wrong in not establishing that I will protect her? We have run across loose dogs, I stepped in-between the loose dogs and ours and scared off the other dog(s). We have been out a few other places (vet, neighbor’s house) and if she is scared she will go behind me (or real close to me) and looks up to me to protect her, I will say “it’s OK” and softly pet her until she is comfortable.

Hi Scott,
I'm not an expert, but you may be reinforcing her timid behavior by petting her when she's nervous. A better approach would be to ignore it. She needs to pick up from you that it's business as usual. Put her in a sit at the vet's, wait until she is visibly not nervous (ears forward, looking around curiously) and then pet her for that behavior.

If you see something approaching that you know will make her nervous, keep moving on past the 'threat', and don't make a big deal of it.

agree with mike, e.g. not forcing the dog to deal with people.

I have met (in training) many dogs that are 'shy/unsure/skittish' with people.

Taking food does not mean they 'trust' the person giving it.

My 2 dogs can accept food from anyone simply because they have high food drive, (and i get my friends to give them food) but as soon as anyone tries to touch them they could/would dodge away.

These are 2 dogs that will walk off leash in a busy street... busy=hundreds of people... (in china )

The most important thing is not to think about why your dog is like that, but what the safest and best way is for you to introduce your dogs to new people and guests around the house.

Taking the dog for a short walk with new people 'can' help begin to establish a bond. e.g. you walk the dog, the new person walks with you. Then offering food can be an addition to relating strangers to dogs. Doing commands e.g. sit/down etc. can also help the dog 'work for the person and work for the food'.

If your dog is very good on leash, then you can even let your friends walk the dog... DO WHAT YOU THINK IS COMFORTABLE, but never push the dog.

BUT SAFETY FIRST AND LET YOUR DOG GO AT IT'S OWN PACE.

'I' know my dogs very well, and I can tell if and when they are comfortable with someone. Otherwise, i would never tell or let people pat my dogs.

Good luck, and keep us updated on any progress.

The thing that jumped out at me in your post was the "pat on the head" part.

Some dogs (not all) prefer not to be patted on the head by strangers. They accept it from members of their own pack, but from new people they view it as a challenge. Stroking the cheeks or patting the sides is sometimes accepted better.

Danke, my current GSD pup, holds to the breed standard of being aloof with strangers. She does not readily approach new people that come into our home. For the most part, this is my preferance, as I see no reason for her to meet every single person that comes around.

With people that are regular visitors (my brother, my parents, friends of my son), I tend to encourage her to at least greet them and then ignore them if she chooses. I have the new person sit next to me on the couch, and then call the dog to me. I ask the person to avoid petting her until she shows interest in them and has gotten a good sniff of them. I work food refusal with her (don't trust one of my neighbors), so I have them engage her with a ball or Kong so she can see them as friendly.

Typically the first time she meets a new person, they'll hand her the ball, which she'll take into her kennel, where she'll more or less stay until the new person leaves.

The next time that person comes over, she tends to approach more readily. By the third of fourth meeting, she is typically happy to see them, and even asks them to play, and openly accepts petting and attention.