 NILIF
#257090 - 11/18/2009 10:11 AM |
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Okay I seriously have the hardest time with this!
My dog is def dominant. I practice NILIF, but probably not to the extent that is needed. she doesn't get treats for free. She has to be invited on the bed, etc.
Our last trainer told me to really make a point in ignoring her, not giving her too much attention/affection, especially not when she is asking for it.
My problem is, I can go maybe TWO days doing this, and then I cave and want to smother her in affection lol.
How do I STOP doing this? How can I convince myself that I am truly disgusted by my dog (not in a bad way of course, but just to the point where I am not giving in or am able to ignore her).
I'm so weak!
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 Re: NILIF
[Re: jenn verrier ]
#257091 - 11/18/2009 10:17 AM |
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Our last trainer told me to really make a point in ignoring her, not giving her too much attention/affection, especially not when she is asking for it. .... My problem is, I can go maybe TWO days doing this, and then I cave and want to smother her in affection lol. ... How do I STOP doing this?
Don't comply with her demands. Remind yourself that the dog is not benefited by having a non-leader pack leader.
She isn't, you know. 
The biggest security the dog can have is a solidly assertive, in-charge pack leader. Affection can be given -- but on your terms.
Disgust has nothing to do with it.
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Re: NILIF
[Re: Connie Sutherland ]
#257097 - 11/18/2009 10:37 AM |
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Right I know I have to keep reminding myself that it really is for HER benefit, to keep HER happy, even if in the interim she seems sad she is not getting what she wants.
Disgust wasn't really the word I was looking for. I guess what I really mean is just to feel somewhat emotionless in a way when she is begging for attention.
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Re: NILIF
[Re: jenn verrier ]
#257104 - 11/18/2009 12:38 PM |
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What I have to do is to make him perform for the lovin. He is so soft and cuddly its hard not to overdo the snuggle time. I will never succeed in being cold or very aloof, but at least I can make him work for it
When he comes up to me I will ignore him for a minute or so then put him in a down or a sit and have him high five, or touch or something. I do a good job of totally ignoring all paws on me, head nudges or other pushy signs and will only respond to sitting nicely and looking at me.
If they put a paw on me I walk away or turn my head and totally ignore them.
That way I still get to love on him, but he had to put some work in for me.
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Re: NILIF
[Re: Jennifer Lee ]
#257106 - 11/18/2009 01:43 PM |
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I think what you need to do is set a goals list of behaviors you would like your dog to display and what you would like to achieve with her, even if it's just being a very well behaved companion.
Next make a list of things that you need to do, or not do, to get her there. Such as which behaviors you will focus on in marker training or how you will handle her when she is begging for affection.(If you are experiencing dominance with this dog I would not be letting her on the bed, even with an invite, until you are sure she knows the ground rules IMHO)
Hang them on your fridge or in your living room, or even over her crate. Each time you feel yourself start to slip, look at your list and it will solidify in your mind what you are working towards with her.
There is nothing wrong with sharing affection with your dog, you should really practice smooshing her up a bit so she becomes tolerant of anything you do to her. Just remember that the smooshing is on your terms!
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Re: NILIF
[Re: Jennifer Lee ]
#257107 - 11/18/2009 01:45 PM |
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Jenn, what sorts of things does she do when looking for attention?
How old is she? Are you using a crate with her?
Here's one easy thing to implement:
In the morning, don't greet her first thing when you get up; ignore her while you fix your coffee or whatever, then go about your normal routine with her.
Right I know I have to keep reminding myself that it really is for HER benefit, to keep HER happy, even if in the interim she seems sad she is not getting what she wants.
I think you might be misinterpreting her reaction.
The worst thing is to be inconsistent with what you are doing. This will send very mixed messages about what you expect from her.
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Re: NILIF
[Re: jenn verrier ]
#257110 - 11/18/2009 02:31 PM |
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What a dull life a puppy must lead if the handler isn't allowed to be affectionate toward him... there's a difference between NILIF and "don't be affectionate to your dog." When the pup does what he's supposed to do, then be affectionate to your hearts content.
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Re: NILIF
[Re: Mike J Schoonbrood ]
#257111 - 11/18/2009 03:02 PM |
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.... When the pup does what he's supposed to do, then be affectionate to your hearts content.
'Zackly! 
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Re: NILIF
[Re: jenn verrier ]
#257117 - 11/18/2009 03:42 PM |
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Why worry about it so much jenn?
You're a family, you're a team.
Right?
Even in the (what people generally consider) the stict heirarchy of the wolf pack there's give and take between the upper and lower caste members.
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