Good morning Kelly,

Emerson advised that 'You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.'

I think a friend is a person you can tell your inner thoughts to without judgement or recrimination. We are lucky in life if we have one or two or three friends, I think. We may have many acquaintances of various levels of contact but they should not be confused with or casually called friend.

We do what we can. You offered kind thoughts. What is more charitable? You offered a kindness. What would motivate a 'friend' to criticize such a gesture?

In my opinion, it is ungracious to criticize a kindness. I doubt a friend would act so. Perhaps an acquaintance.

I probably wouldn't send a Mass card to an atheist or agnostic but I'd like to believe I'd offer some message of sympathy and condolence.

I am mindful of the passions of others and their beliefs, what is true, what is false, and so forth. It is not for me to try to convert others to my ways. It is not for me to call a friend out for merely offering a kindness.

My beliefs are deeply personal. If asked, I'll discuss them. They are mine. I'm willing to test them but in such a discussion not only mine will be tested.

An offering of kindness is not an appropriate opening to criticize the intentions of another, in my opinion.

We are so sensitive to the possibility of offending others that we forget that others should also be sensitive to offending us. Your friend was wrong to address your kindness so. Wrong is wrong. Certainly oafish.

Do what is in your heart. How can you go wrong by being kind?

So, when you ask if you should continue offering kindness, the only rational answer is a resounding "YES!"

Agreed....kindness....

You all are SOOOOO great!! Reading your posts made me smile - to know you all have my back makes everything better.

The "mutual friend" is no longer a Facebook Friend. I did delete my post, for fear that this person would take it public and I did not want my friend to hurt any more than she already was. I called her instead and offered my condolences for her loss.

The person that was offended lives in my town, so I will probably encounter him at some point or other. I will smile and keep to myself, should that happen. I have no desire to debate religious beliefs- my post was not about religion, it was about making someone feel better and to let her know that I was there for her if she needed me.

I should have known you would all be understanding and supportive - we are bound together by the love of our dogs (past, present, and future)

I will continue to post as I have been when someone loses a beloved canine. I know that when I have suffered loss, your words helped me through the pain and heartache - I can only hope that my words ease some pain for others. Maybe it is something only another animal lover will understand...

Thank you and hugs to you all!!!

--Kel

Kelly
I recently attended a funeral of someone who left behind two children----late teens/early 20's and a long time companion/girlfriend.

The funeral service was not in line with my beliefs and not one that I would take comfort in. One of the basic tenets it did center around is in direct contradiction with my own spiritual beliefs.

But I have to assume that this what my his kids and the woman that stayed by his side and took care of him wanted and found comforting. What kind of an idiot would I be to take offense?

What kind of a self centered righteous prig would I be to take offense at something that is offering someone comfort?

How any one can attempt to censor sincere words of comfort offered to a third person is beyond me. Frankly this is not about them, and they need to shut the heck up.

I'm a little late on this but as long as you are sharing sincerely from the heart continue to do what you are doing. If someone else takes offense-thats their problem- after losses in my life both human and animal I've had people comment on things that I may not have shared the same belief on, but I very much appreciated that they were trying to comfort me. What really matters is that you were there for a friend.