10 Rules of Schutzhund ( for your dog )

1) If you don't find any food within the first 6 meters of the track...forget it, there isn't any. You can break off the track.
2) Save your nose, only use it for corners!
3) Ignore articles that are smaller than a brick.
4) Don't forget - the group is there to molest someone.
5) Never go in correct basic position, it only makes the handler happy.
6) Only retrieve when forced. Remember, the dumbbell is YOURS!
7) Save energy! Set your feet on the hurdle. Freestyle jumping is a common sport.
8) Go directly to the helper. Forget the other blinds, they are empty anyway.
9) Get a full bite in the blind - that IMPRESSES!
10) Never let go of the sleeve, the helper has to give it to you at some point anyway

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This has been floating around for a while, just thought I'd post it...

OK, here's one for you and Buttercup and all you Mal owner's out there:

Malinois Property Laws

If I like it, it's mine.
If it's in my paws, it's mine.
If I can take it from you, it's mine.
If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in anyway.
If I'm taking something apart, all the pieces are mine.
If it looks just like mine, it's mine.
If I think it's mine, it's mine.
If it's yours and I steal it, it's mine.
If I... Whoops! Sorry, I goofed! Instead of reading the Malinois Property Laws, I've been reading the M$ Business Plan.

I dedicate this to my wanna be Malinut, Kali. She recites this every morning... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Melissa, While reading that whole list I had a mental picture in my mind of this Mal I know. I laughed so hard it hurt. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Thanks

Will, I liked # 3..Zena would say screw the brick..although she would claim it.It would be hers.If there were a twig under that brick she would take hold to both and say..Its all mine.In process of showing what was hers..she could see a concrete block..lol and go for that as well and claim it..maybe she couldn't carry all at one time..but she sure as hell would figure a way to make sure it was all hers..Once done and surrounded by what is all hers..that true smile comes forth lol.If Santa were to arrive..I wonder what in the hell would she do..lol..She somehow would take ownership of the sleigh and bite the heels of the reindeer to take it to where she is in safety with ownership..of all the toys..lol..In essence..The "fictionary tale"..was "The Zena ( Jazena) that stole Christmas lol..I wonder what ever happened to santa????Perhaps he was safe at the North pole..figuring out..Why is this damn shepherd acting like another breed. Pondering for a minute in thought..he thinks .."I better damn well share"..I have no other choice..lol Merry Christmas!!!

The Zena that Stole Christmas
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That tickled my funny bone. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Poor Zee..she is in her 9x10 kennel..not laying in the cedar shavings..Sitting on top of the dog house..hmmm waiting for the snow and Santa to show up..there is sleet. Oh well..she won't have the opportunity to steal christmas..Her eyes are focused on my front door.Okay enough is enough..lol My heart gets to come in and play Santa and claim all toys..and burrow up with her master.