My daughter has a new boyfriend and 6 days ago we had an incident where the dog nipped him after he gave her some food. I don’t know what to do.

Question

Dear Ed,

I have a 10.5 year old German SHepherd. I got her when she was 6 weeks old. She was diagnosed as fear aggressive very early on. I have had two trainers and a behaviorist. To make this as short as possible, I will give you the readers digest version. She does not like strangers or other dogs. We have had her on Prozac and propanol since she was 3 years old. We can walk her outside without trouble but we do not let her near others on the street. We have a fenced in large yard. when company comes over we put her in another room. There are people she is familiar with and she is allowed around them without any trouble. She is loving to all members of our family. Recently, my daughters has started dating a new man. Due to the fact that is in our house often, we have tried to introduce them. We leashed her at first and let them get to know each other. We finally felt comfortable enough to let her off the leash and all seemed fine. That was 6 days ago. Two days ago he came over and se was in the yard. She came in with a toy in her mouth and she seemed ok. My daughter got a little nervous and gave her boyfriend a piece of roast beef to give her. He told the dog to sit and she did and she went to give him her par. When he bent down, she started to bark and yelp. He pulled back and she jumped up and nipped his arm. He had a jacket on. There was no bite, just saliva. We intervend and told her down. She layed down and was calm. we were in the kitchen and he stayed on the other side on the Island. We then let her come around to him and he gave her the roast beef by throwing it on the floor. They left and went up stairs. When he was leaving, she barked again and we stood between them. We told her stay and she did and he left. I don't know what to do know. I want to get her comfortable with him since he will be coming by frequently. Should I go back to putting her on the leash and try again from there. I should say that I have asked him to ignore her and not make eye contact but he does not follow it so much. She really is very gentle once you get to know her. It is just getting over that hump. She has not met any new in quite a few years. She is a member of our family and we will not put her down. Should we muzzle her During training? Please help.

Donna
Dear Ed,

I have a 10.5 year old German SHepherd. I got her when she was 6 weeks old. She was diagnosed as fear aggressive very early on. I have had two trainers and a behaviorist. To make this as short as possible, I will give you the readers digest version. She does not like strangers or other dogs. We have had her on Prozac and propanol since she was 3 years old. We can walk her outside without trouble but we do not let her near others on the street. We have a fenced in large yard. when company comes over we put her in another room. There are people she is familiar with and she is allowed around them without any trouble. She is loving to all members of our family. Recently, my daughters has started dating a new man. Due to the fact that is in our house often, we have tried to introduce them. We leashed her at first and let them get to know each other. We finally felt comfortable enough to let her off the leash and all seemed fine. That was 6 days ago. Two days ago he came over and se was in the yard. She came in with a toy in her mouth and she seemed ok. My daughter got a little nervous and gave her boyfriend a piece of roast beef to give her. He told the dog to sit and she did and she went to give him her par. When he bent down, she started to bark and yelp. He pulled back and she jumped up and nipped his arm. He had a jacket on. There was no bite, just saliva. We intervend and told her down. She layed down and was calm. we were in the kitchen and he stayed on the other side on the Island. We then let her come around to him and he gave her the roast beef by throwing it on the floor. They left and went up stairs. When he was leaving, she barked again and we stood between them. We told her stay and she did and he left. I don't know what to do know. I want to get her comfortable with him since he will be coming by frequently. Should I go back to putting her on the leash and try again from there. I should say that I have asked him to ignore her and not make eye contact but he does not follow it so much. She really is very gentle once you get to know her. It is just getting over that hump. She has not met any new in quite a few years. She is a member of our family and we will not put her down. Should we muzzle her During training? Please help.

Donna

Accepted Answer

What happened with your daughter, boyfriend and the dog is a common occurrence with fearful dogs. A large number of people out there with fearful dogs think if they have the dog fed around the person or thing they are afraid of it will diffuse the situation but as you found out it rarely does. In the case of the dog that is uncomfortable around strangers it typically goes like this. The humans in the equation think that if the “scary” person gives the food to the dog it will help. What typically happens is that the dog comes over, eats the food and realizes that they are way too close to something or someone that terrifies them and they react with a bite.

Dogs like this would rather stay away from people they don’t know, and this is the approach I would take with her especially at her age. Do your dog a favor and teach her that you will NOT put her in a position that she feels the need to defend herself. She needs to know that strangers will not come into her bubble, but she also needs to follow some rules. Control the dog’s actions (keep her on a leash) but tell visitors in your home that they are to ignore the dog completely. No talking to her, no looking at her, no trying to give treats. Pretend the dog isn’t there. If the boyfriend won’t follow the rules then that’s a whole different problem. I will say that my dogs are also members of my family and if a guest in my home won’t follow my rules with the dogs, they aren’t welcome to visit. You can let him read this if that would help.

If you would feel better with a muzzle on her, then that is certainly something that should be incorporated into her training.

This kind of dog doesn’t want to make decisions, she really would feel much happier and be more relaxed if she knew you would control all situations like this in the future.

You may want to read our groundwork article and check our DVD Pack Structure for the Family Pet and Dealing with Dominant & Aggressive Dogs.

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Cindy