Normally I wouldn't bother such an august body, but I am very uncertain about what is best for my little foster dog and need some input. (This is going to be a bit long.)

My foster dog, Alvin, is a little guy who was snatched from the jaws of death by the rescue I foster for. He is very soft, shy and generally nervous. After a month of hard work, routine and love (THANK YOU ED FRAWLEY!) Alvin is doing quite well. Today he visited with a prospective family.

The visit went fine but I had two concerns regarding the family. The first was that they had a 10 yo son who was your normal 10 yo. My concern was that there was not enough of a plan in place to shield Alvin from boisterous activity. The comment that particularly struck me was when the son mentioned how calm he was with dogs and the mother corrected him with "remember how I am always telling you and your friends to settle down." I totally get 10 yo boys, but I sensed that Alvin would be left to fend for himself and not have supervised interactions.

My second concern was that the family lost their previous dog to a car. The dog was unleashed in the front yard with a family member and bolted into the street after a squirrel. Of course, the dog had only done that a couple of times previously- but it was never serious as their street is not well traveled. My worry was that they did not learn sufficiently from that accident to protect Alvin. He likes to hang around you but has not been trained to come under distraction, and likely wouldn't be. (My own dog isn't yet to that level, and I'm working on it!)

All this boiled down into my recommendation that they not be given Alvin. I am wondering if that was correct or if I am overreacting. Am I taking my "Leerburgness" (for lack of a better term) too far in looking for a home with some knowledge of a dog's requirements, or the willingness to learn? Is passing up on this home a wise idea considering the limited resources avaliable to the rescue? Or is my instinct (as well as described here) something you other rescuers would agree with?
Please give me some feedback. I could really use an objective point of view.
Mods: I think this is still an appropriate topic, but if not please remove it and accept my apologies.

It's often not an easy decision.

I think I would have spent some time openly discussing both issues with them.

Leah, from the description of the dog (little, shy, nervous, soft), it sounds to me that you did the right thing. Sounds like he would do better with a single person or a couple with no kids. That's just from reading what you wrote.

I was concerned when my daughter-in-law and son decided to go with a Maltese because of their 3 boys, oldest being 10 yrs. They're ALL rambunctious, loud and never stop for a minute. But they lucked out with an outgoing, frisky puppy and all is well. I couldn't imagine that it would be a good thing for a shy, nervous dog with unknown history being around that kind of activity. He may constantly be trying to hide or avoid the kids. Doesn't sound like a good scenario for him, given his personality. He probably needs calm people. JMO.

Edited to add: I'm not currently a rescuer, just wanted to clarify that.

I foster dogs (although I have no fosters currently) and I am extra-careful that the match between family and dog is a perfect one. I'm lucky enough that I can keep the dog(s) for as long as that takes. I understand that some people and rescues don't have those resources.

My concern is that if the dog is a bad match, then either the dog (or person in some cases) can get hurt OR the people decide that they have to get rid of the dog and then I no longer have control over what happens to it. The dog could be sold in the paper, taken to a shelter or dumped in a parking lot.

Many people will avoid the embarrassment of returning a dog so I make sure that the match is a sound one from the beginning and do follow ups and give one or two training sessions with them to increase the odds for harmony within the family, and I make myself available for help with problems for the life of the dog (or the life of me...whichever comes first ).

I do home visits and reference checks, verify that they own their home or get written clearance from their landlords. I find out in advance what vet they have used or will use. I make them bring their current dog(s) if they have any and if they have cats, I bring the dog to them to see how it goes. The child to dog match depends on each individual and is taken on a case by case basis.

This may seem like a lot, but that's the responsibilty I took on, and I've had excellent success with this path. The way I see it is that while one family might not be right for the particular dog that I have, it doesn't mean that they're not right for any dog. In that case, I try to find a different dog in need of a home for them.

Very rarely do I come across outright losers. Rescuing a dog and jumping through all the hoops that are involved usually means that their heart is in the right place and all they need is a little education.

Like Connie said, I do discuss my concerns with people. Ignorance is actually not the same thing as stupidity and many people want to learn.

However, if I have a bad feeling about them, I place the dog with someone else because bottom line is that I'm not fostering dogs for the happiness of the future owners, I'm doing it for the dog.

Sounds like a good prospect for an elderly couple (that is capable of caring for a dog), or a couple w/o kids.

Also, I do not think I would consider the family because of the whole dog/car thing and the fact that it happened more than once.

But I am a little harsh with things like that. Not trying to say that I am perfect because I am far from it, but as I learn and grow in the dog world, I get more harsh with people who just don't get it, even after education.

Some people, adults and children, are the same IMHO in the regards that the animal is like a new toy at Christmas, they follow the guidelines until the newness wears off and then they slip into the lazy way, inch by inch. It is unfortunate, but it happens.

I agree with Amber on how she does it.

Yes, Amber does it perfectly IMO. Wish everyone was so conscientious about placement.

I strongly agree with your decision that it was not the right home! I would strongly recommend to NOT discuss concerns with a potential adopter. People "say the right thing" to convince you they're the prefect home.

The previous dog being hit by a car is reason enough. I will not adopt any animal to a home that had a previous pet hit by a car because of owner negligence.

If your only concern was the temperament of the dog not being a good "fit" but the family was otherwise great, then it's good to say that you think they'll make a wonderful home for an adopted pet, but not this particular dog, and recommend a shelter to visit.

I do adoptions like Amber does, plus a legal adoption contract (I assume she does this too!). One good placement is worth the wait!

The rescue I foster for, insisted that if I am not 100% happy with the fit then I should turn it down.

I don't know about your rescue, but mine took care of all the paperwork, fees, etc. but left the final decision about the adopter to me. I turned down no fewer than 3 potentials before allowing my foster to leave me. And I later found out that the rescue had turned away even more before giving out my number. (They were the first contact point for the dogs).

If something doesn't feel right in your gut DO NOT DO IT. If something ever happened you would feel guilty for a long time.